


Don't Let Me Let You Go

by glitzymanatee



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Adulting is hard, F/F, F/M, Hosie, Minor Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman, Past Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman, Slow Burn, posie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 45,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitzymanatee/pseuds/glitzymanatee
Summary: Josie rubs her arm with a scowl and starts her list over again.Dad…Hope…Mom…Penelope…The last one always makes her want to puke. All of the people she’s been avoiding, the people she’s absolutely dreading seeing this weekend. Josie takes a final deep breath of the stale airport air before following her twin out into the Virginia sunshine.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson & Josie Saltzman, Penelope Park & Josie Saltzman, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 84
Kudos: 417





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Short chapter to get the ball rolling. If this gets traction I will stick with it. No magic powers in this world...unless you count loooooooove

“This was a bad idea.” 

It’s the eighth time in the past thirty minutes that she’s voiced her opinion and just like the last seven, this one is met with an eye roll and biting reply.

“Stop it, you’re being dramatic and that’s supposed to be my role.” Lizzie flicks at Josie’s arm and proceeds to drag her luggage toward the curbside pick up. 

Josie rubs her arm with a scowl and starts her list over again. 

_ Dad… _

_ Hope… _

_ Mom… _

_ Penelope… _

The last one always makes her want to puke. All of the people she’s been avoiding, the people she’s absolutely dreading seeing this weekend. Josie takes a final deep breath of the stale airport air before following her twin out into the Virginia sunshine. 

Before she has time to even slide her sunglasses down to cover her eyes she hears it. 

“GIRLS! OH MY GOD!” 

And Caroline Forbes, ageless wonder, rushes into her personal space. 

And maybe it’s because she’s exhausted and nervous or maybe it’s because despite everything Caroline is still her mother but Josie lets herself get a little lost in the embrace.

“Mom,” Josie wiggles out of her mother’s grasp, “we told you that you didn’t have to come pick us up.” 

Caroline wipes away a tear and Josie crumbles a little because she knows her mother hates to show any sign of distress, of anything less than perfection. 

“Of course I was going to pick you up,” she herds them to her SUV as she launches into gossip, “Lizzie, darling did you-” 

And Josie checks out as she slides into the back seat. Her mother and sister pick up an easy conversation about Chicago and Mystic Falls and boys and fashion and who even cares? 

_ Dad… _

_ Hope… _

_ Mom… _

_ Penelope…  _

Familiar waves of guilt slam into her as the car passes landmarks from her past. Ten years...ten years since her high school graduation. She had almost escaped high school unscathed and without incident. But Penelope didn’t let that happen.

“So Josie,” Caroline’s attention is now on her, “whatever happened to that boy Danny? I thought maybe he’d be joining you this weekend.” 

Her mother means well enough and Lizzie is there to shoot her a sympathetic wince. 

“Oh, uh Mom we broke up.” And Josie hates having to do this, pretending she cares about some idiot she went on six dates with, “It was for the best, we really didn’t click.” 

If she’s honest with herself, which she rarely is, she hasn’t clicked with anyone in years...in almost ten years. She takes a deep breath, no she won’t think like that. She won’t let Penelope fucking Park have that hold on her, or at least Josie lets herself believe that lie. 

“Home sweet home!” Caroline delivers the cliche with the utmost sincerity and Josie can’t help but smile at her mother. 

Josie watches as her step dad appears out in front of the house and she has the fleeting desire to just bolt. She wonders if she could run fast enough to disappear.

“C’mon,” Lizzie’s voice breaks her musings, “If I have to do this, so do you.”

Lizzie grabs her wrist and pulls Josie out of the car.

“That’s the thing,” Josie wrestles her bag onto the pavement as she watches her mother practically jump into her step dad’s arms, “I don’t know if I can do this. I should’ve stayed in the city.” 

“Again with the dramatics,” Lizzie grabs her by the shoulders and Josie is met with an almost terrifying gaze, “you are here because I need you and we are here to show everyone how amazing we’ve done since high school.” 

Josie scoffs, “No,” she shakes loose from her twin’s grasp, “I’m here because you have an inability to do anything alone and you’re here to see if everyone still adores you.” 

An easy chuckle escapes Lizzie, “Of course everyone still adores me.” Lizzie shoots her a wink and waltzes into their childhood home with an abundance of confidence. 

Josie lets out a shaky breath, here we go. 

\---

So maybe it hasn’t been as bad as she thought it would be. Caroline has been somewhat reserved, her sister hasn’t started a fight, and Stefan, sweet and quiet Stefan has not tried to have a “father, daughter moment” with her yet. 

Josie flops back on her familiar mattress and stares around the time capsule that is her childhood bedroom. Her mom has left it in pristine condition and Josie feels a pang of guilt. She ran away from Mystic Falls so fast she can’t believe there isn’t a Jose shaped hole in the wall of their house. 

Waves of nostalgia wash over her as she peers at the old pictures tacked to the walls. Lanky and gorgeous Lizzie grins back at her from every angle, usually with her arms draped over Hope Mikaelson. Pictures full of smiles and duck faces and middle fingers and friends and drunk nights bombard Josie. 

She groans and rummages under the bed blindly. The box is under there somewhere and she almost yells when her hand finds what she’s looking for. 

“You can do this,” she mutters to herself because she is a grown ass woman and some old pictures stuffed into a box will not break her. She’s sure of it.

The contents of the box hurt more than Josie would ever admit. She dumps it out onto the bed. Old pictures, dried flowers, movie stubs, bracelets, and various receipts surround her. 

God, all of it even smells like  _ her. _

Josie glances at her door, making sure she locked it because the last thing she needs is Lizzie catching her drowning in all her memories. 

At the ripe old age of 14 Josette Saltzman had her first real kiss. The spin the bottle gods had either blessed or cursed her, depending on who you asked, and she was unceremoniously shoved into a closet with Penelope Antoinette Park for Seven Minutes in Heaven. It had been a nervous, awkward kiss but the two of them seemed to just fit together, even back then. 

She runs the now dulled red silk through her fingers. On that fateful night, almost fourteen years ago, the red silk had kept Josie’s hair tied back. It then spent the rest of that night around Penelope’s wrist, how Josie ended up with it in the end she can’t remember.

Penelope’s green eyes seem to shine even in the crinkled, worn photos. She wears a devilish smirk in most pictures and Josie remembers when she found that smirk irresistible but the images that hurt the most are the ones where Penelope is full on grinning or laughing, usually at Josie.

“Oh boy,” she swallows down the hurt, “this was a mistake.” 

Because she isn’t crazy, what they had back then did matter and the old pictures only confirm that. She’s spent ten years trying to just pretend it didn’t happen but it did. The love was there, the love and the trust and the secrets of two teenagers who fell head first into each other.

Josie carefully packs up the nostalgia scattered all over and slides the box back under her bed. Just to throw it away later, she lies to herself. She even lets herself halfway believe it.

\---

She grimaces again, “Do we really think all of this is necessary?” Josie tugs at the bottom of her faded Mystic Falls High sweatshirt. Honestly where did Lizzie even find these old clothes? 

Lizzie finishes the last touch of her make-up before turning to face her sister, “Of course it is. It’s our 10 year reunion and everyone will be at the game in their old gear.”

“Ah god,” Josie huffs, “I hope not  _ everyone _ .”

Lizzie softens and plops down on the bed next to her, “I really just think if you would internet stalk her just a little maybe it would help. It’d be like preparing for a test or something.” 

“No,” Josie says, “I don’t want to know anything.” 

After high school Josie has remained dedicated in avoiding all things Penelope Park. She has enforced a strict no mention, no searching, and no speaking of Penelope Park. It’s worked really, for almost ten whole years she has lived her life without devoting any space to her ex. But ever since Lizzie has signed them up for this ridiculous ten year reunion her mind has been flooded with thoughts and memories and worries about Penelope. So for six months she’s been frantic and almost sick with dread about this weekend.

“Yeah I get it Jo,” Lizzie says, “but I know stuff that I could tell you just so you aren’t like blindsided or anything. Aren’t you even morbidly curious?” 

Of course her sister has stalked Penelope, does anyone ever really let go of high school grudges? Lizzie certainly never will. 

“No, I’m fine,” Josie manages a small smile for Lizzie, “promise. Let’s just get to the game. We’re drinking beforehand right?” 

She gets a full blown grin from Lizzie, “Oh always.” 

They say goodbye to Caroline, who practically runs away from them crying, grab whiskey and brown paper bags from the liquor store, and walk to their old high school. As they make their way towards their past they sip whiskey slowly and only exchange a few words. Josie realizes for the first time that maybe Lizzie isn’t as confident about this weekend as she has been claiming. 

They’re standing in the parking lot as high schoolers and alumni and parents flood the school campus. The sun is fading over the woods behind the football field, painting the sky in vibrant shades of orange and red. Josie shivers against the slight chill in the air or maybe it’s the nerves, she can’t tell which one. 

Josie grabs her sister’s hand, “You ready?” 

Lizzie finishes off the booze and Josie notices the slight flush to Lizzie’s face, “What if it’s awful? What if it’s too different and everyone hates me?” 

“Lizzie,” Josie says, her heart aching with love for her sister, “I’m right here and no one is going to hate you, c’mon you’re amazing.” 

It gets Lizzie to chuckle but she still hasn’t taken any steps toward the growing crowd.

“High school was so easy for me, ya know?” Lizzie sighs, “This whole being a grown up thing hasn’t been and I just feel like everyone is…” she pauses and Josie wishes she could do more to comfort her twin, “better than me.” 

“Hey,” she grabs Lizzie by the shoulders and forces her to meet her eyes, “ we are all struggling and fuck whoever judges you here. You matter to me, you are amazing to me. Got it?” 

Lizzie grins, “Yeah fuck ‘em, let’s do this.”

They walk arm in arm down to the football stands and Josie lets herself get swept up in all the excitement. The band is playing and it’s a sea of faces old and new and she can hear cheering and clapping and it all feels so familiar. 

It all comes back easy, being around her old classmates. She listens as Landon talks about graphic design and Rafael shows pictures of his kids and Kaleb beatboxes with MG. It’s amazing to Josie how everyone is so grown up and yet all of the jokes and stories and teasing is as easy as when they were teens. 

“No way,” MG’s shocked face makes Josie giggle, “an ER nurse? Jo, that’s incredible!” He’s got a relaxed arm around her shoulders and she leans into him, enjoying the security that has always come with being around MG.

“For real, MG” she says, “it’s so difficult and crazy but I am helping people when they are at their worst. I’ve just learned so much.”

And now she can’t remember why none of them have stayed in touch. 

“That’s wild,” he lowers his voice slightly, “you uh, ever talk to Peez?” 

Oh, right, that’s why she lost touch with him. MG has always been incredibly close to Penelope.

She gives him a tight smile, “C’mon, I have to believe you know the answer to that.”

MG gives her shoulders a squeeze and a sad smile. Josie hates the pity shining in his eyes. 

“Thought maybe she was holding out on me,” he says. And all of a sudden Josie wants to be anywhere other than right here. 

And then as if the gods themselves heard her thoughts, she feels a hand close around her wrist and drag her about ten feet away. 

“What the actual fu-” she wrenches her wrist free and collects herself as she turns to face her attacker. 

Oh no no no. This is worse.

“Josie Saltzman.”

Hope Mikaelson glowers at Josie with her hands on her hips and a crease in her brow.    
“Hey, Hope.” She mumbles and can’t help but notice that even scowling, Hope looks amazing. 

“Uh no,” Hope shakes her head, “don’t ‘Hey, Hope’ me. You’ve been dodging me for two months.”

Lie, lie your ass off. “No, no not avoiding,” she wrings her hands together and can’t bring herself to meet Hope’s stare, “work has been insane,” good, good no one questions her crazy schedule, “I have been super busy.” She might pull this off. 

“Bullshit Jos,” Hope scoffs, “you forget Lizzie and I talk daily?” 

She fights back an eye roll, how could she ever forget that? 

“Hope I really don’t think now is the time to do this.” 

“We absolutely need to do this now,” Hope steps closer and Josie wants to bolt, “we have to talk about what happened.” 

Josie lets out a sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, no we do not need to talk about-” and the world suddenly stands completely still and her stomach clinches, “Penelope.” The name is a whisper.

“No,” Hope says, “why the hell would I want to talk about Penelope?” 

“She’s here.” 

Penelope Park moves through the crowd with the confidence of someone who knows exactly who they are and the effect they have on others. She had been an attractive teenager, there was no doubt of that, but as an adult? It’s almost unfair how incredible she looks. Somehow she’s gotten her hands on an old Timberwolves jersey that she’s tied back to cling to her tighter and her shredded jeans allow for glimpses of tan skin.

Josie can’t look away as Penelope greets everyone with an easy smile. She wonders if Penelope’s hair, longer than it ever was in high school, is as soft as it looks.

Green eyes set behind black rimmed glasses find her stare and still Josie doesn’t avert her gaze. After ten years of pretending Penelope Park no longer exists, only fifteen feet of grass separates them. 

The air is thick and Josie’s heart is pounding in her ears.    
“Excuse me,” Josie pushes past Hope without even looking at her. 

Her eyes still trained on Penelope and her brain absolutely screaming at her not to, Josie moves intently toward Penelope. 

She’s in front of her before she can change her mind and Penelope gives her a nose crinkling grin.    
“Fucking Josette Saltzman,” Penelope drawls and Josie hates that she’s missed how her name sounds coming out of that mouth, “wow, I can’t believe you’re here.”

Every inch of Josie is buzzing and she’s so caught up in the sight of Penelope that she doesn’t even notice everyone is staring at them.

“Well you know Lizzie,” she hopes she sounds normal or confident because her brain is having trouble doing it’s job, “she dragged me here.” 

Something dark that Josie can’t quite place skirts across Penelope’s pretty face before she responds with a dry chuckle. 

“Yeah your sister has always been a pain in the ass like that.” 

And before either can say anything else, they are surrounded by friends. Josie uses the intrusion as an opportunity to sneak away; sneak away from Hope and Penelope and give herself a chance to recover from being bombarded. 

She wanders to the edge of the parking lot and runs her hands down her face. Holy shit. Her hands are still shaking as she takes a deep breath. 

“Hey,” Lizzie jogs up to her and the temperature has dropped enough that Josie can see her breath, “you ok?”

And much to her surprise, Josie starts laughing. Lizzie’s eyes go wide as big, belly, tearful laughs burst out of Josie and she can’t stop. She holds up her hands and just lets the emotions that feel too big to describe, pour out of her in laughter. Lizzie must find it addicting because soon the twins are hunched over, leaning into each other with tear streaked cheeks and bellies that hurt from laughing. 

“Damn,” Josie wipes at her eyes and works to catch her breath, “she’s super hot Liz.” 

LIzzie nods, “Ok the worst is over right? The rest of the weekend should be a breeze and then it’ll be over.” 

Josie looks past her twin to where Penelope is standing with Hope and MG, her green eyes lighting up at whatever conversation is happening. She can even hear Penelope’s laughter over all the other noises. Josie’s chest tightens and she feels something in her reach out for Penelope.

No, Josie thinks that everything might actually just be beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ya know,” Josie finally turns and looks at Penelope. She’s almost struck silent at how pretty she looks, those big green eyes dancing and of course Penelope showed up to a semi formal event in black jeans and a leather jacket, “I haven’t been to the Grille since our last date here like ten years ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive any mistakes. I rushed to get this finished because I am going to be busy for the next several days. Love y'all.

The sun peeking through the blinds drills a hole of heat into Josie’s side, which is odd because she bought black out curtains for her room years ago when she started working at the hospital. As she rubs sleep from her eyes and her brain reboots, she remembers, she’s back in Mystic Falls. She groans as she tries to stretch and her limbs end up hanging off the small bed from her youth. 

Josie manages to push herself up into a sitting position and internally cringes once more at all the old photos plastered throughout her room. She makes a mental note to try and convince her mother to just get rid of everything in here. 

It takes another ten minutes of her just trying to fully wake up before Josie stumbles out of her room and to the bathroom door. She tries to push her way in and is met with a locked door. 

“The hell,” she whines and pounds on the door, “Lizzie, get out!” 

“Give me a minute!” 

And because Josie is grumpy and has to pee like crazy, she lets herself act like a child. She stands there knocking continuously on the door with both hands. 

“JOSIE QUIT IT!” Lizzie screeches at her through the closed door and that just pisses Josie off more. 

So of course she starts knocking louder and faster. Her eyes are closed as she drums on the door, which almost results in her punching her sister right in the face. 

“Ugh finally,” she goes to push past Lizzie but her sister doesn’t budge, “uh, move.” 

Josie dance squirms in front of Lizzie looking for an opening to squeeze past her. 

“So,” Lizzie draws the word out, “don’t be mad.” 

Josie freezes, “Why would I be mad?” Besides the fact that Lizzie won’t let her into the bathroom that is.    
“I was talking with Hope last night,” Josie’s blood runs icy, “and her whole family is getting together for brunch while she’s in town. She wants me to join.” 

“Ok why would I care if you get brunch with the Mikaelson’s?” 

“It’s today.” Lizzie mumbles and doesn’t meet Josie’s gaze. 

Josie can’t help it when her hands ball into fists at her sides, “God Lizzie, no. We agreed on this. Today we are going over to dad’s together.”

Lizzie shrugs, “Please, Jo. Dad likes you best anyway and wouldn’t it be nice to have some one on one time with him? Please please, I really need to go with Hope.”

“You already told her you’d go didn’t you?” 

At least she has the good sense to look ashamed, “She’ll be here to grab me in ten minutes.”

And Josie wants to scream, lose her cool and unleash her fury on Lizzie but she locks the anger back down. She takes a breath and unclenches her jaw. 

“Fine,” she says, “go, have fun. I’ll just see you tonight.” 

Even though she knows Lizzie will do just that, for a brief moment she holds onto the hope that Lizzie will choose her and stick to their plans. 

“Ah,” Lizzie’s shriek could shatter glass, “thank you, you’re the best and I will definitely make it up to you.” And Josie’s heart sinks a little. 

With a kiss to Josie’s cheek and a brilliant smile, Lizzie rushes away, leaving Josie in her pajamas and hovering outside the bathroom. Josie blinks back hot tears that are threatening to fall and goes about her morning. 

As she brushes her teeth and finally pees and does her make up, the dread in her stomach becomes heavier. Her relationship with her father has always been tenuous. For so long he really was a very good dad and she can remember him playing dress up and hide n’ seek and taking the twins trick or treating. But something changed when the girls were in middle school. 

Josie never learned why he started drinking but she knows that once he started, he could not stop. 

She’s swimming in memories when she hears a soft knock at her bedroom door, “Sweetie?” 

Caroline pokes her head around the corner, “Are you ok? I might have accidentally heard your conversation with your sister earlier.” Josie almost laughs because her mother is, at the very least, pretending to be embarrassed. 

“Oh yeah,” Josie tries to smile, “it’s fine. I told Lizzie she could go and I’ll just swing by dad’s by myself.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Caroline frowns, “you don’t owe him anything, you could just not go.”

She moves to the bed and sits down next to Josie. It’s nice having her mom close again, even if it’s only for a weekend. Josie is tempted to just do as her mother suggests. 

“I can handle going and seeing dad for a little bit.” She’s lying and Caroline is giving her a knowing stare. 

“Do you need me to come with you?”

Caroline Forbes does not speak to her father, not anymore. Josie and Lizzie’s birth mom died shortly after having the twins. Caroline was her best friend and stepped in to help their dad raise the twins. She’s the only mother Josie has ever known. Caroline just is her mom, plain and simple.

Josie scoots closer and nestles into her mom’s side. Her head comes to rest on Caroline’s shoulder and Josie grabs her mother’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Josie would never ask her mom to do that, join her at her father’s. The guilt would eat Josie alive for putting Caroline through that.

“No, mom, I’ll be fine,” Josie leans back and gives her mom a quick peck on the cheek, “promise.”

Caroline gives her a watery smile before leaving and Josie feels a renewed surge of affection for her mom. 

She lets out a long sigh, ok she can do this. 

\--------

Ok she cannot do this. 

It is barely after 10am and she’s standing outside her father’s house. She’s never felt more like a child than right now, squirming nervously in front of the door with peeling paint and a rusted door knob. 

Maybe he won’t even be conscious, maybe she can knock quietly and then bolt, her obligation fulfilled. 

She knocks once, pauses and holds her breath, please please please don’t answer. She watches in almost slow motion as the door knob turns and the door creaks open. 

Alaric Saltzman has always been an attractive man. Growing up the twins had to deal with numerous friends developing crushes and gushing over their father. His physical attractiveness wasn’t even what really drew people to him. Alaric was, and remains, extremely charismatic, full of wit and charm. 

“Josie baby!” He grins and leans forward, arms out and expecting a hug. Sometimes Josie thinks her father still sees her as a little girl, oblivious to all his faults. 

She takes a slight step back and nods, “Dad.” 

He pulls back and manages to hide most of the hurt on his face, “Josie, what uh, what are ya doing here? Not, not that I’m not happy to see you…” he rubs the back of his neck as his voice trails off and Josie can see that his eyes are slightly glassy already. 

Of course he forgot, “Dad, we talked like last week and I told you we’d be in town for the reunion.” She does her best to keep the venom out of her voice, “You asked us to swing by before the event tonight.” 

And Alaric does what he always does when he forgets or promises things when he’s drunk, pretends to remember, “Oh right right, yeah come on in.” He waves back towards the house and only has a slight stumble to his step. 

“Ok, but dad,” she pauses in the doorway, “I only have a few minutes.” She can feel the itch to run getting worse.

He just nods and leads her back to his dining area. The tricky thing about Alaric Saltzman and his drinking is on the surface he appears to function like a responsible human. His house remains mostly clean, his appearance is mostly well kept, and any missteps, mess, or mistakes are swept away by his charm.

But Alaric Saltzman is full of false promises. Like how he promised to attend the middle school play or the big volleyball game or the horse shows or their high school graduation or all the visits to Chicago that haven’t happened. 

“Coffee?” He doesn’t wait for her response and starts preparing everything at the kitchen counter. 

It gives Josie a moment to gaze around the small, mostly open house. She instantly clocks the open, half drank whiskey bottle and glass sitting on the side table. She shakes her head, still struggling with the idea that her father is drinking hard liquor so casually so early in the day. 

His hands subtly shake as he hands her the coffee mug. She sips slowly as a heavy silence fills the room. 

“So uh,” he stammers, “where is your sister?” 

Oh, she just casually abandoned me, no worries, she muses. “Lizzie isn’t feeling well.” And she hates that the lie comes so easy. 

“So she didn’t want to see me,” he scoffs bitterly and anger rises in Josie’s throat. 

“Jesus, dad,” Josie rubs at her eyes, “she just couldn’t make it, ok?”

He holds his hands up, “Ok, ok. How’s Chicago?” 

“Maybe if you followed through with a visit you’d know.” 

She really hadn’t been planning on fighting with him but seeing him just brings too many feelings out. Josie even relishes in the pained expression her words cause. 

“Josie, c’mon that’s not fair,” he shrugs, “you know I’ve been busy.” 

She laughs dryly, “Writing the next great American novel, right? Ok, let me see some pages.”

Alaric just stands there silent, staring at the ground. The rage continues to bubble. She sets her coffee on the counter and swipes her keys up. 

“Maybe if you spent less time doing that,” she points at the whiskey bottle and lets her words fly out, knowing they are cutting him down, “you’d have more time for your amazing book or better yet,” she steps closer and waits until he looks at her to continue, “you’d have a real relationship with your daughters.” 

Josie starts storming towards the door and to her surprise, tears start falling down her cheeks. The crisp fall air stings her lungs as she chokes on her sobs. As she goes to open the car door, Alaric seems to materialize a few feet away. 

“Wait, Jo,” he looks distraught. 

Good, she thinks bitterly, good he should hurt like she does. She pauses with the car door open and half her body hanging out. 

“I’ll come visit, Josie,” he’s practically begging her, “I’ll quit drinking, I’ll get it together and be there for you. I promise.” 

It breaks her heart every single time he promises something because the little girl that still lives in her believes him. And he lets her down every time. 

Without another word, she gets into the car and drives away. She doesn’t bother glancing back at her father. 

\-------

Josie spends the rest of the day driving aimlessly around Mystic Falls and the surrounding countryside. She drives along winding roads that cut through the woods and over rivers. Maybe, she thinks, maybe she can drive until it’s all behind her

Dad…

Hope…

Mom…

Penelope…

The longer the day drags on, the worse she feels about how things went with Alaric. Josie rarely loses her cool. Her job requires she be calm and steady, she rarely voices her displeasure with Lizzie’s flakiness or her mother’s overbearing ways but she just couldn’t take her father pretending he wasn’t a problem, that he wasn’t doing irreparable damage.

Exactly two hours before she’s due at the Grille for their formal reunion evening she gets a text. 

_ Lizz: Hey! I’m just going to get ready with Hope, meet you there xoxo _

Honestly, she’s not even surprised or angry...just tired. Josie entertains the fleeting thought of just not going, staying home with Caroline or maybe trying to catch an earlier flight back to the city. But she doesn’t want to disappoint her sister, even though Lizzie doesn’t seem to share that concern. 

Caroline drives her to the Grille in almost complete silence. Josie suspects that Caroline knows something happened at Alaric’s but she has refrained from questioning her, Josie is grateful for her mother’s restraint. 

So here she stands, in a simple yellow dress, in front of another painful reminder of her past. The Grille has been a steadfast business in downtown Mystic Falls for as long as anyone can remember. But it looks slightly different from Josie’s teenage days. The outside marquee is sleeker and soft lights glow from what is now a rooftop lounge. The Mystic Falls High School class of 2010 has rented the entire establishment for dinner, drinks, and anything else they want for the evening. 

“You just going to stand outside all night or can I walk you in?” 

Josie smiles softly and takes a moment to let Penelope’s voice wash over her. 

“Ya know,” Josie finally turns and looks at Penelope. She’s almost struck silent at how pretty she looks, those big green eyes dancing and of course Penelope showed up to a semi formal event in black jeans and a leather jacket, “I haven’t been to the Grille since our last date here like ten years ago.” 

She doesn’t mean to bring up their past, in fact she had really wanted to just avoid the subject the entire weekend. Yet here she is, finally with Penelope again, and she foolishly lets that sentence tumble out of her mouth. 

Penelope gives her the softest smile, “Me either, you look as beautiful now as you did that night.” 

“Don’t.” 

A chuckle falls out of Penelope, “Don’t what?” She’s doing that thing that Josie used to find irresistible, a quirked eyebrow and a confident smirk, only now it irritates her.

Josie scowls and crosses her arms, turning to face Penelope head on, “Don’t say nice things to me.” She knows she sounds like a juvenile, apparently Penelope turns her into an 18 year old again. 

“So,” Penelope doesn’t back down, just steps closer and Josie absolutely  _ hates _ that Penelope smells so intoxicating, “you want me to say mean things to you?” 

“I think,” Josie says, “I want you to say nothing to me at all.”

When Penelope’s mouth falls open slightly and her green eyes go big, Josie feels the thrill of victory, so she just turns and heads into the party. It takes every ounce of self control not to look back at Penelope Park. But the sight of her sister and Hope give her the motivation to keep facing forward. 

“Jo!” Lizzie practically screams across the restaurant and every single person in the place locks in on her. Josie can feel the heat on her face and neck. 

Josie makes her way to Lizzie, Hope, Rafael, and Landon. She doesn’t talk much, just listens and laughs with the others. She alternates between avoiding Hope’s gaze and sneaking glances at Penelope. 

As the night progresses, everyone loosens up even more as the alcohol flows and the awkwardness fades. Penelope and MG even join them near the bar, which is distracting Josie from really paying attention to the babble of conversation, until she hears Penelope scoff at something Lizzie says.

She snaps to attention when she sees her twin’s features darken. 

“What are you laughing at Park?” Lizzie snaps and Hope tries to put a hand on her arm, as if to placate Lizzie. 

Penelope gives Lizzie the most dramatic eye roll Josie has ever seen, “Oh nothing, just that some things seem to never change.”

“Lizzie…” Josie tries to stop her twin from exploding, she sees the rage flash in her eyes. 

“Huh,” Lizzie sneers, “like how you’ve been eye fucking my sister all night? I thought you were married?” 

All of the air leaves Josie’s lungs and her ears are ringing? No, no way Penelope isn’t married. And instinctively she looks for a ring on Penelope’s left hand. Every single person around them has fallen silent, holding their breath. 

Josie can see Penelope clench her jaw, before a dry laugh escapes her, “Hm, I am in the middle of getting divorced,” Penelope’s voice is dangerously low and all warmth has left those green eyes, “but I’m guessing you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Without another word Penelope walks away and disappears up the stairs to the rooftop. Everyone else seems to drift away, leaving the twins standing there, Josie fuming and Lizzie looking smug. 

“Why did you have to do that?” Josie snaps. 

“Oh come on,” Lizzie laughs, “she doesn’t get to have any interest in you, plus you needed to see she’s not what you think.” 

Of course Lizzie frames her petty high school grudge as some warped sisterly protectiveness. Josie wants to scream. 

“You have no idea what I think of her,” Josie steps closer and drops her voice to almost a whisper, “what I think is, she was the only one that acted like an adult just now. You have to apologize to her.” 

Lizzie gives a disgusted scoff, “Not gonna happen.” 

“You are unbelievable.” 

Josie shakes her head and storms off after Penelope, not knowing exactly what she’ll say. She’s starting to regret not knowing more about Penelope’s current life because finding out she was,  _ is _ , married makes her head spin. It’s not hard to imagine, someone as beautiful and rich and smart as Penelope would have no trouble finding someone to marry. But all Josie can think about are the countless journal margins she filled as a teen with their names joined.

Josie finds her on the roof, leaning against the railing and looking out across the town square. She notices a lit cigarette dangling from Penelope’s hand. 

“You a smoker now, huh?”

She joins her at the railing, making sure to leave a healthy amount of distance between them.

“Nah,” Penelope blows smoke into the chilly night, “just a little pot.” 

Penelope extends the joint, offering it to Josie, that eyebrow quirked again....it’s less annoying this time. 

“Oh, no thank you.”

She just shrugs at Josie and takes another hit before flicking the end down to the street. Josie thinks she looks painfully beautiful, all bathed by the soft lights around them with a slight frown etched on her face, she shakes the thought away.

“Penelope,” Josie sidles a little closer, “I’m so sorry for how Lizzie acted.”

Penelope finally turns to look at her, the frowning deepening and her head tilted slightly. She doesn’t say anything for several long, agonizing seconds and Josie starts to wonder if she’ll ever speak. 

“Please do me a favor.” Josie only nods, “Do not apologize to me for your sister’s shit, like ever.” Penelope’s voice gets so soft and her face relaxes into a concerned gaze, it throws Josie off balance. And she can’t even find it in her to argue. 

“Yeah, yeah ok.”

“Ok,” Penelope sighs, nodding several times, “she’s not wrong though, people still think we are dating. Dana straight up asked me when we were getting engaged.” 

Penelope laughs and breaks eye contact, rummaging in her jacket pocket before pulling out another joint. But now Josie is frowning and her back has gone rigid. 

“And why is that funny?”

“Come on,” Penelope murmurs through the joint she’s now holding between her lips, “we were just kids, who even stays together after high school?”

“No.” 

Penelope meets her gaze again, her brow knitted in confusion, “Jojo…” 

“Oh absolutely not,” Josie takes a step back and her voice cracks, “you do not get to stand there and dismiss what we were and then in the next breath call me that.”

“Are you seriously angry at me right now?” 

Josie wants to push her off the building, so yeah, she’d say she’s angry. 

“Hell yeah I am,” she takes a bold step forward, “what we had meant something. I  _ loved _ you Penelope and you don’t get to stand in front of me, especially after what you did, and tell me it didn’t matter. Fuck you.”

“Wh-” 

“And secondly,” now she’s yelling, “you never even gave me a chance to be mad at you. You dump me and then disappear. You literally never showed back up at school! You didn’t give me the chance to yell or cry or argue with you,” Josie watches as Penelope’s eyes continue to get bigger but Penelope remains impossibly still, “So yeah maybe it’s not fair but 18 year old me didn’t get to yell at you, so here we are.” 

Josie doesn’t wait for a response and honestly, she doesn’t even want to hear one right now. Tonight has given her mental and emotional whiplash and now nothing sounds better than her bed. She bolts downstairs, outside, and into a taxi. 

She lets her head fall back against the seat and finally releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Just as the car starts rolling forward, something bangs against the front of it, jolting Josie out of her daze. 

The driver cusses loudly and Josie is shocked to see an exasperated Penelope Park flying around the side of the car. 

“Lady what the hell-” 

“Here.” She flings cash into the open driver’s side window before rapping against Josie’s window, “Josie, Josie, please let me say something.”

And Josie’s hand betrays her brain and rolls down the window, “ _ What _ , Penelope?” 

There’s a crazed, desperate look on Penelope’s face and it's the most unguarded she has looked all weekend, “You’re right ok? It did mean something, everything. You meant everything.” She swallows thickly, “I couldn’t let you leave without admitting that,” she nods, almost to herself and gives a small smile, “Ok, you can go, goodnight.”

The driver doesn’t wait and practically floors it, with Josie in the backseat, her heart hammering in her chest and her hand covering the stupid smile on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s unnerving how Penelope just continues to smile fondly at her but Josie takes a few moments to let her eyes wander over Penelope. Her toned arms and green eyes and curly hair and those dimples. Penelope Park is stop traffic attractive and Josie remembers that she looks like a troll that lives under a bridge.

It’s one of those days in Chicago where the sun is impossibly bright and the air is so cold that it makes eyes water and breath puff in thick clouds. Josie loves days like these, where people on the street are so bundled up in fluffy clothes that all you can see of them are their noses poking out from scarves. There isn’t any snow yet but with Halloween just around the corner, it’s only a matter of time before the city is blanketed in white.

It’s Josie’s first day off work in two weeks and two weeks since her return from Mystic Falls. She has spent the past two weeks working her ass off, listening to an endless stream of apologies from Lizzie, dodging Hope and all her calls, and cautiously allowing herself to look into Penelope Park’s life. 

Josie has allowed herself to look at broad, public information on Penelope. She went to Georgetown after high school. She has become some sort of executive manager at Park Industries, mostly concerning projects on clean energy. She is going through an expensive divorce. She attends charity events, professional sporting events, and fancy parties all over the world. 

Shortly after returning to Chicago Josie got an alert on her phone.  _ Pen_Park is requesting to follow you. _ So now, against her better judgement, Josie and Penelope are Instagram friends and Josie has been forcing herself not to spend an embarrassing amount of time scrolling through photos. 

The small bell chimes above the door as Josie squeezes her way into her favorite French coffee shop. She’s instantly engulfed in the smells of coffee and pastries and expensive cologne. She’s confused because this place is never this busy and yet she can’t even see the counter through the wall of expensive suits in front of her. 

The crowd in front of her is speaking rapidly in what, as best she can tell, is French. Male voices dominate the conversation but are interrupted harshly by a woman she can’t see speaking the same language. None of them appear to be ordering so Josie decides to try and get past them. 

“Ah, uh excuse me,” she taps one of the guys on the shoulder and tries to squeeze through them towards the counter. 

“Josie.”

She almost falls flat on her face at the sight of Penelope Park, dressed in what has to be an extremely expensive pantsuit, standing amongst the French men. Josie is dressed in yoga pants and her ratty winter coat. She must look like an idiot, underdressed with her mouth hanging open. But Penelope looks absolutely  _ delighted _ at the sight of her and Josie can feel a slight blush on her cheeks. 

“Penelope,” she shakes off the shock, “Penelope what are you doing here?” 

The French men just stand there, staring at the two of them. 

“Oh,” Penelope sighs out, “you know just getting my associates some authentic French coffee.” 

Josie steps closer, “N-no, what are you doing in Chicago?” She needs to know because she cannot stand the thought of being bombarded by the sight of Penelope on a regular basis, especially when she’s not ready for it. 

“Hold on,” Penelope turns to face the men and rattles off in French. Josie  _ hates _ that she finds it so attractive. All of the men take turns kissing Penelope’s hand and filing out of the shop. “Sorry, I uh, spend several months a year here. I oversee a few projects out of this branch.” She turns and points to the counter, “Can I get you anything?” 

Josie is once again mystified by how at ease and confident Penelope exists in any given space. It’s almost unfair how at home Penelope seems in a coffee shop she has most definitely never been in. It’s so different from the arrogance she exuded in high school.

“Yeah,” Josie says, “give me a sec.” 

This time when Penelope speaks French she’s signaling at the owner of the shop who just nods and then directs his attention to Josie. She knows her order by heart, she never gets anything different but she needs a minute to collect herself because she has felt two steps behind for the past several minutes. So, Josie pretends to carefully look over the menu above the counter, trying the entire time to ignore Penelope hovering behind her. 

It’s impossible.

Josie orders a simple hot coffee. The man behind the counter refuses her money, simply pointing at Penelope. 

She turns around to face Penelope, “What did you do?” 

Penelope grins and shoots Josie a wink, “Can’t a girl buy you a simple coffee?”

“Uh,” Josie frowns and collects her drink, a strange uneasiness settling over her now that she’s alone with Penelope in the shop, “thank you, for this.” 

It’s unnerving how Penelope just continues to smile fondly at her but Josie takes a few moments to let her eyes wander over Penelope. Her toned arms and green eyes and curly hair and those dimples. Penelope Park is stop traffic attractive and Josie remembers that she looks like a troll that lives under a bridge. 

“You are welcome,” Penelope gathers a heavy coat, scarf, and gloves from a nearby table, “I do have a question though?”

“Yeah, what, uh what’s up?” 

Penelope’s face gets deadly serious and she takes a step towards Josie, her eyes downcast, “Are you still angry with me?” And almost as if it was taking every ounce of self control, Penelope’s face lights up with a blinding grin. 

Josie melts a little.

“Well you bought me a coffee,” Josie rolls her eyes as Penelope’s grin gets impossibly bigger, “so I guess not as much.” 

Penelope lets out a chuckle, “I’ll take it.” 

Now they are just standing by the doors, smiling at each other and neither making a move to leave the other. It’s then that Josie notices the French gentlemen have like all the way left. 

“Hey, w-where did your,” Josie pauses, not really knowing what to call the men who had been here with Penelope, “acquaintances?” 

“Oh, um they are my business associates and I told them we would conduct our meeting later.” She says it casually with the wave of her hand and the shake of her head. 

“You just sent them away? Just like that?” 

Penelope tilts her head and smiles, “Yeah just like that, it’s not everyday I run into Josette Satlzman. So, I figured I’d take advantage.”

They’re still lingering by the door, coats draped over arms and coffees clutched as they dance around something, something Josie can’t quite name; that feels inevitable. 

“Oh,” Josie sighs out, “you want to hang out, like now?” 

“Unless you’re busy…”

The idea of spending the day, alone, with Penelope Park is equal parts exciting and terrifying. Exciting because Penelope makes for fascinating company and she’s funny and smart and so so painfully gorgeous. Terrifying because she’s Penelope. 

And Josie can’t come up with a reasonable excuse or maybe she doesn’t even really try, “Sure, what did you have in mind?” 

Penelope lights up again, Josie swoons again. 

“I’ve never been to this part of the city,” she says, “I spend all my time in the Loop.”

Josie thinks it’s best to just keep this simple, “You’ve never been to Little Italy?”

“That’s what this is called?”

Josie rolls her eyes and lets out a soft chuckle, “Let’s just sit here and enjoy our coffee, decide anything else later.”

They settle into a small booth set into the window, they can see an occasional passerby hustle down the street and the chill from the window is a welcome reprise from the blush that is seemingly permanently coated on Josie’s cheeks.

“Really though,” Penelope reaches across the table and wraps her hand around Josie’s wrist, “I hope I’m not keeping you from anything today. Please don’t feel like you have to do this.”

Josie pulls her hand away and waves awkwardly, “It’s fine, it’s my day off,” she tries not to read too much into the way Penelope pulls her hand back into her own lap or the way Penelope’s face falls slightly, “You speak French?” Josie is hit with an almost insane urge to ease the weird tension between them. 

“Oh yeah, I speak several languages actually.”

She doesn’t mean to laugh, but Josie practically does a spit take and has to cover her mouth with her hands. Penelope’s eyes go wide and her mouth falls open slightly.

“I-I’m sorry, sorry but you, Penelope Park, who barely passed sophomore english, speaks more than one language?” 

And finally Penelope laughs again, full throated and genuine, “Oh believe it, baby.” Josie’s heart skips a little, “I speak French, obviously, Mandarin, Spanish, and I can get by most of the time in German and Italian.” 

“Well I’m impressed.” Josie leans back away from the table and has to take a moment to glance away from Penelope. She’s not used to having anyone in her life make this kind of intense, direct eye contact. 

She hears Penelope let out a contented sigh, “Josie,” she snaps her eyes back to Penelope’s, “in all seriousness, how did you not know about Park Industries being here in Chicago or my divorce? Like these are crazy public things. Our company basically powers all of downtown and you can’t pick up a magazine or open a website without my divorce being splayed all over.” 

And suddenly Josie’s “Anti Penelope” safety measures seem silly. How does one explain to their ex girlfriend from high school that everything was easier if she didn’t exist in Josie’s world? 

“Yeah, I uh, well after we split I got rid of you...I guess?” Josie can’t look at Penelope and instead keeps her eyes trained on her own hands, “It really hurt and I was 18 so everything hurts more when you are 18. It was easier to just erase you and then I just never un-erased you,” she shrugs and finally brings her eyes back to Penelope, “so I never learned about you getting married or Park Industries coming to Chicago or any of it. I know it’s stupid…” 

“Hey,” Penelope’s voice is sharp, “it’s not stupid. We all do what we have to, ok?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“It’s kind of nice anyway,” Penelope’s body visibly relaxes and she smiles easily, “you have this like clean image of me as an adult. No tabloid influence, I like it.” 

And Josie is grateful for Penelope’s words because this was all feeling too heavy and out of place in this small coffee shop. 

“Did you want to talk about it?” 

Penelope scoffs, “About my divorce?”

“Yeah,” Josie just shrugs, “I’m all ears but don’t feel like you have to.”

There’s several moments of silence as Penelope frowns at the stained table between them. 

“I fell in love with him a year after undergrad and I fell hard and fast,” Penelope’s voice breaks a little as she speaks and Josie internally winces for her, “he was charming and sweet,” she meets Josie’s gaze, “he’s a elementary school teacher. He wears sweaters and thick rimmed glasses. He’s the picture of like goodness. And there I was rich, spoiled, and entitled. The media had a field day.”

Penelope takes a deep breath and Josie just waits. She waits and uses every ounce of her self control not to reach across the table for Penelope’s hand.

“He treated me so well and didn’t seem to care about the money or spotlight,” she sighs, “after we got married, eventually me traveling and being gone all the time destroyed us. He was jealous and I was dismissive. And now he’s doing what he swore he’d never do,” Penelope’s eyes are glistening with unshed tears and there’s a rage simmering behind her stare, “he’s hurting me in all the ways only he would know how: acting like he married me for money, talking to the press. He’s painting me the villian and it’s working.”

“Penelope…”

“Please, Josie, just don’t,” Penelope cuts her off, “I don’t need or want any pity. I just didn’t want you learning the details from like US Weekly or anything. Ok?” 

Josie nods and swallows down all the sympathies she wishes Penelope would accept, “Yes, totally fair.” 

“You know your sister has been my Insta friend for years,” Josie is going to get whiplash from Penelope constantly changing the moods and conversations, “So I’ve seen that you guys and Hope Mikaelson have stayed close. Ya know, Hope and I do a lot of business together, I can’t believe she hasn’t really talked about us to each other.”

Josie clenches her jaw, “Oh Hope is really more Lizzie’s friend.” Well, more than friends these days. She feels a wave of humiliation rush through her. 

“Wait, what’s that?” Penelope nods and narrows her eyes. 

“Uh, don’t know what you’re talking about.” Josie swallows thickly and tries her best to look confused. 

“No, no, no,” Penelope smirks, “there’s something there, you just got weird.”

They must look like quite the pair, hunched over the small table staring at each other. Penelope’s eyes probing for answers and Josie trying desperately to look casual. Penelope dressed to kill and Josie dressed for a nap. 

“I don’t know…” 

“C’mon,” Penelope coaxes and her expression has gone impossibly soft, “talking might help.”

“Fine but I’m giving you a quick watered down version,” Josie shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath, “So like two months ago I might have misunderstood a conversation Hope and I were having, so I might have kissed her only to find out that she was actually into my sister. Now they’re discreetly dating and I’ve been avoiding Hope at all costs.” 

Penelope has a hand up covering her mouth and her face is turning red. Josie can’t believe it. Penelope’s hand is actually stifling laughter. 

“I’m sorry,” Penelope clears her throat and tries to straighten out her grin, “you’re obviously upset about this.” 

“You’re laughing at me.” 

“No, Josie,” Penelope laughs, “I mean, yeah kind of but Hope is an idiot. You shouldn’t be beating yourself up over this.” 

And Josie doesn’t tell Penelope everything. Like how what was really bothering her was that another person picked Lizzie over her and that the person was Hope; the girl who had been a steadfast and equal friend to both twins and now, now she was Lizzie’s. 

She doesn’t tell Penelope that Hope picking Lizzie makes her feel small and irrelevant and insignificant. She doesn’t tell Penelope that she’s always felt like second place. 

So, instead she steers the conversation away from Hope and Lizzie and feelings because she can’t do this right now, here, with Penelope fucking Park. 

Josie listens as Penelope fills in the gaps from ten years of erasure, her college years and getting her master’s and moving up in Park Industries. Penelope talks about her travels and parties and different cities around the world. 

And Josie is more than happy to just listen and watch. She’s never enjoyed watching anyone speak as much as she’s enjoying this. She’s starting to notice things. Like how when Penelope is talking about something she’s passionate about her voice gets higher and her words run together and her too cool demeanor fades. Or how when she talks about work her eyebrows knit together and her hands seem to move with her words. 

Penelope is currently explaining some of her clean energy projects and is drawing a prototype on a napkin. Josie is kind of blown away by how intelligent Penelope is. 

“That’s amazing Penelope,” Josie finally gives in to what she’s wanted this entire time and wraps her fingers around Penelope’s wrist, “really, what you do is incredible.”

And Josie swears she almost can see a blush on Penelope’s cheeks, “Thank you but it’s nothing compared to being a trauma nurse. There aren’t enough words to describe how awesome that is.”

Josie shakes her head and looks down, “I love it and it just felt right, I guess all the pieces came together for my career. I got lucky.”

“Why Chicago though?” Penelope asks, “You used to talk about the west coast like it was your personal version of like heaven or something.” 

“Oh yeah,” Josie remembers dreaming up scenarios when she was 18 of her and Penelope living on the beach together, “well after graduation, Lizzie was coming to school here and she wanted me to join her. So, I did.” 

Penelope scoffs, “Sure, of course you did.” She shakes her head and leans back away from the table. 

Josie stiffins and what had previously been an amazing conversation, now feels tense, “Excuse me?” 

“Forget it.” Penelope waves her hand and for the first time checks her phone. 

“No, no go ahead Penelope,” Josie scowls at her, “speak your mind.” 

Penelope stares at her for several long moments, “It’s just disappointing that you just followed Lizzie somewhere when you were so set on going out west. That’s all.” 

And all of a sudden Josie feels like a teenager because how many times did she fight with Penelope about Lizzie? Back then, they were either blissfully in love or tearing each other apart about Josie and Lizzie’s relationship. 

“Has it occurred to you that maybe I was so heartbroken that I needed Lizzie?” Josie leans forward and drops her voice to a near whisper, “Do you realize that at 18, I needed my twin more than some silly dream about going out west? And going out west was something that I wanted to do, with  _ you _ , Penelope. So, why go out west when you were gone?”

“Fuck, Josie,” Penelope goes to grab her hand but Josie stands up. 

“It’s late,” Josie refuses to meet Penelope’s pleading stare, “you probably have to get back to work and I need to go...just anywhere else. Bye Penelope.” 

She doesn’t give Penelope a chance to stop her or say anything. Josie walks out onto the street and starts weaving her way through the foot traffic and side streets towards her apartment. How do all of her interactions with Penelope end in anger? 

As she walks, her mind wanders to thoughts she tries to never let herself have. If they had stayed together would they have moved out west? Would they have gotten married or had kids or learned to surf or owned a dog or broken up in some horrific fashion? 

The cold stings her eyes and makes her nose run. She misses the warmth of the coffee shop and Penelope’s soft smile.

But Josie refuses to regret what has gotten her here, so fuck Penelope Park. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Actually, Josie,” Hope is smirking dangerously at her, “I had a very interesting conversation with Penelope Park the other day.”  
> Josie freezes. “What happened to my ‘no speaking of Penelope’ rule?”   
> “Well if you’re hanging out with her that rule must be out the window…” Hope winks at her and Josie wants to crawl inside herself and die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the views, reviews, and kudos. Y'all the best.

It’s a typical Friday night for Josie. She had the early shift at the hospital and now she’s at The Honking Goose with Lizzie and Hope. It had been an easy work day, no one major traumas came in so she basically took vitals and gave anti nausea medication all day. 

She really is trying to focus and enjoy the night out, she’s even been able to look Hope in the eye tonight but her mind keeps wandering. It keeps drifting off to green eyes, a devilish smirk, and a soft smile. It’s been almost a week since her day with Penelope in the coffee shop and she cannot stop thinking about it. 

Josie has regrets about it. She shouldn’t have just stormed out, she should have talked it out with Penelope but she also thinks she doesn’t owe Penelope Park a thing. So it’s been a week of her bouncing back and forth between guilt and utter faith in her choice. 

The gin goes down easy tonight and Josie feels a warm buzz flowing through her body. She smiles lazily and uses her pool stick to prop herself up as Lizzie takes her shot. 

“Don’t fuck up babe,” and Hope must be kind of drunk to be calling Lizzie  _ babe _ already. 

Josie grins as her twin mutters under her breath and completely blows her shot, bouncing the cue ball completely off the table and across the bar. 

“Fuck.” Lizzie groans and takes off in search of her mistake. Josie can’t help but laugh and she can’t remember the last time she was this relaxed. Sure, multiple gin and tonics play a big part but still… 

“So,” Hope slides into the space next to Josie, “you are at least pretending to acknowledge me tonight. Can we finally talk?” 

Josie sighs, “Hope, it was a misunderstanding. That’s all. Can we just not make it into anything else? I’m tired of avoiding you, it’s exhausting.” 

“It doesn’t feel like something we can ignore,” Hope’s melodic voice, a previous comfort, now makes Josie squirm, “I don’t like that your sister and I actually dating made me lose you.” 

“Hope,” Josie glances around to make sure Lizzie isn’t close by, “you didn’t lose me, we’re friends. I just…” How does she explain this, this complicated feeling of wishing she was Hope’s first choice? Was she in love with Hope Mikaelson? No. But has she crushed on Hope, of course, anybody would be a fool not to. “I just really thought that you and me...but I was wrong and then embarrassed.” 

“Hmmm,” Hope takes several seconds to just stare at Josie, “has it not been clear that I’ve been in love with Lizzie since we were all like six?” 

And Josie practically chokes on her gin, sputtering and coughing as Hope laughs. 

“L-love?” 

Hope nods happily with a dreamy look on her face, “Yeah Jo, love. But she’s always been with other people, so I just waited and now’s my chance. I didn’t mean for you to ever feel lead on or anything.” 

Josie doesn’t exactly know what to say because Hope has always been affectionate towards both Satlzman girls. For as long as Josie could remember Hope had been kissing them on the cheek or hugging them extra tight or snuggling together during movie nights. So, it made sense to Josie when Hope had spoken about having feelings for a girl she’d known her whole life and Josie had jumped at the chance for it to be her. 

It really is Lizzie’s world and everyone else is just lucky to be here. 

It’s then that Lizzie reappears, her eyes frantic and her hand clutching the white ball. Her hair is frazzled all over the place and she has a giant wet spot on the front of her shirt. 

“I cannot believe neither of you bothered to come find and help me,” Lizzie pouts and sets the cue ball back down on the table with more force than probably necessary, “some idiot dumped a whole beer on me. What was more important than saving me?” 

Hope gives Lizzie the most lovesick look Josie thinks she’s ever seen and even with her own embarrassment still hovering over them, she really is happy to see someone love Lizzie as much as she does. Lizzie is positively beaming at Hope and they seem to always be touching so Josie decides she can swallow her pride and bruised ego and every other confusing feeling because she loves both of the girls standing in front of her. 

“Hope and I were just catching up.” Josie says and she can tell Lizzie doesn’t buy it completely but it must not interest her enough; she just shrugs and goes back to shooting pool. 

“Actually, Josie,” Hope is smirking dangerously at her, “I had a  _ very _ interesting conversation with Penelope Park the other day.”

Josie freezes. “What happened to my ‘no speaking of Penelope’ rule?” 

“Well if you’re hanging out with her that rule must be out the window…” Hope winks at her and Josie wants to crawl inside herself and die. 

“What. The. Fuck. Josie.” Lizzie practically growls at her and now appears fully interested in the conversation. Josie makes a mental note to chew Hope out later because right now she has to find a way out of this mess. 

But she’s kind of drunk and she finds her voice before her rational thought.

“We might have spent the day together,” Josie really wishes she would keep her own mouth shut, “so what, Liz?” 

“So what?” Lizzie’s voice is shrill and it makes Josie cringe, “So what? I’ve spent ten years hating the girl for  _ you. _ I’ve spent ten years watching you try to move past getting your heart broken when we were teens and now you’re just casually hanging out with her?” 

Josie had no idea her twin even cared about this, “Lizzie…”

“And what’s worse,” Lizzie suddenly looks incredibly sad, “you didn’t even bother to tell me you spent time with her when it’s obviously a big deal.” 

She doesn’t quite know what to say so she grabs Lizzie’s hand and drags her out onto the back patio to a secluded corner. Josie notices that Hope doesn’t follow them, she’s thankful for that. It’s incredibly cold out and the wind whips between the surrounding buildings but they’re lucky because the outdoor heaters are working full blast, giving off a comforting hum. 

“Lizzie,” Josie wishes she was just a little less drunk because she can’t find words quickly and she’s afraid she’ll use all the wrong ones, “I wasn’t like trying to keep a secret from you or anything. Honestly,” she squeezes Lizzie’s hand, “I accidentally ran into her and then spent time talking to her. I didn’t think you’d want to hear about it, you are kind of like really hateful about her.” 

Lizzie scoffs and Josie can tell she’s trying very hard not to cry, “Of course I care, she wrecked you and I care about  _ you _ , so of course I want to hear if you’re meeting up with someone who hurt you. And maybe it’s not even the Penelope of it all, it’s the not telling. I literally dragged Hope across the hallway the night she asked me out to include you.”

Oh, Josie remembers that awkward night. She wishes she didn’t. 

“I swear I wasn’t trying to intentionally keep anything from you, Lizzie.” Josie doesn’t know how many different ways she can tell her sister the same thing. 

“I just feel like you’re avoiding me,” Lizzie sniffles and several tears escape, “is this because you’re mad about the reunion weekend? I am sorry really.” 

And Josie knows she needs to keep Lizzie from having a full fledged melt down at the bar, “No, I promise. We already talked about that, I was mad and now I’m not. Just c’mere.” 

Josie wraps her arms as tightly as she can around Lizzie. She feels her twin release several stifled sobs and Josie just continues to hug her until Lizzie’s body stops shaking. Every now and then Lizzie has trouble with her emotions and insecurities. Drinking can make it so much worse and Josie has learned over the years to get it handled swiftly before an explosion occurs. 

Josie knows that Lizzie has struggled with these “outbursts” for years. She was labeled as a difficult child when they were younger and Lizzie spent a good portion of their middle school years heavily drugged. 

As an adult Lizzie manages her own mental and emotional health, which has actually been wildly successful. Josie knows she attends therapy and is on some form of meds. Mostly she’s done really well but things still happen.

Josie isn’t interested in going through anything like that tonight.

“Ok, I’m better,” Lizzie says with another sniffle and red eyes, “let’s go find Hope again.” 

Josie gives her a nod, “Good plan, plus I’m guessing you both want actual details about my coffee with Penelope.” 

The idea of gossip gets Lizzie to light up, all past anxieties and hurt feelings apparently forgotten as she drags Josie back into the crowded bar. They find Hope up at the bar, arguing with a stranger and slamming shots of God knows what. 

“N-no, that is not what I sa-”

“Darling,” Lizzie interrupts Hope’s rant, “Josie wants to tell us about Penelope. Come with me.” 

As the twins do their best to drag Hope as far away from that particular spot at the bar as possible, she manages to break free enough to throw a sneer and middle finger back over their shoulders towards the guy she had been arguing with. 

“Classy, Hope,” Josie chuckles. 

She actually kind of loves to see Hope like this. It’s sometimes easy to forget that Hope isn’t perfect. She’s gorgeous and kind and smart and funny and all around impossibly wonderful, which makes it hard to be around her sometimes. But every time Josie gets to see sloppy, dumbass Hope, it brings her amazing perspective. 

“Here,” Lizzie sets a glass of water in front of Hope and kisses the top of her head, “drink this, you’ll feel better.” 

Josie only feels a twinge of guilt as Hope leans into Lizzie and practically beams at her. 

“So,” she clears her throat, “you two want to hear about everything or what? You too drunk?” Josie raises a questioning eyebrow at Hope, who is grinning and nodding with eyes half closed. 

“Nah, spill the beans kiddo.” Hope gives her fingers guns and Josie can’t help but laugh as Lizzie rolls her eyes. 

So, Josie starts talking. She paces in front of them and tells them about her inadvertent meeting with Penelope Park. She doesn’t mean to gush but as she lists all the languages Penelope speaks and her work and her willingness to ditch her fancy business associates to hang out with Josie, she can hear herself using grossly positive and beautiful words to describe Penelope. 

She’s almost afraid to look at the other two after she just spent a solid like eight minutes praising and gushing over Penelope. And when she meets her sister’s gaze she isn’t surprised to find Lizzie smirking. 

“I’m sorry, Jos,” Lizzie has pulled Hope into her lap and has her arms wrapped around her from her perch on a stool, “but this is super weird because you haven’t said one bad thing about Penelope yet.” 

Hope just nods along, still looking foggy from booze.

“Oh,” Josie runs a hand through her hair, as she always does when anxious, “I was getting there.”

“Proceed.” 

“We ended up fighting and I left,” Josie can feel the anger bubbling again, “she thinks I just follow you around and do your bidding. She had the audacity to lecture me about not going out west after high school. Like who does she think she is?” 

And before Lizzie can answer, Hope bursts out laughing. 

“Shit, sorry,” Hope has tears running down her face and she can’t seem to catch her breath, “it’s, it’s just that you sound exactly like you used to in high school. Holy shit.” And she starts laughing again which makes Lizzie chuckle affectionately. 

Josie doesn’t really find any of this funny. 

“Not true.” She’s pouting, she knows she probably looks like a child but Josie can’t help it. 

Hope scrambles out of Lizzie’s lap and comes to an unsteady stop right in front of Josie.

“Jo, I spent four years listening to you fight with Penelope.” Hope is suddenly very still, solid in her stance and her eyes have focused. 

“That’s not true,” she argues, “we fought but not that often.” And honestly, she doesn’t remember fighting with Penelope that much. She remembers laughing a lot and kisses in the snow and secret make out sessions just about anywhere they could.

She can feel a blush creeping up her neck. 

Hope laughs and makes her way back into Lizzie’s arms, “Maybe you weren’t fighting but you were always worried. Especially once Penelope got like really hot,” Lizzie nods in agreement with Hope, “what like sophomore year, all you could do was worry she would leave or cheat. You were terrified she was avoiding you or mad at you or flirting with other people. Every now and then we got the extra special treat of you two fighting about Lizzie. And then when you would finally confront her, you two would battle it out for days. It was all very dramatic.” 

“Sorry, Jos,” Lizzie doesn’t look sorry, “Hope’s right. You guys were either fighting or all over each other. But c’mon, we were teenagers, everyone’s relationship was like that. Remember me and Raf?” 

Hope immediately starts ragging on Lizzie about all of her failed past relationships and Josie takes the opportunity to slip outside. She needs a minute because she feels a little rattled, like someone picked her up and shook her too hard. 

Has she spent the last ten years rewriting history? Of course she remembers they fought, every couple fights some and they were teenagers, full of hormones and drama and the thrill of first loves. 

Josie huddles closer to the heater and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She goes to try and text Penelope before remembering, she didn’t get her number. Disappointment, coupled with a smidgen of guilt, surges through her. 

She opens Instagram and finds Penelope’s account. It’s filled with pictures of her at various events or on different vacations around the world. Penelope is rarely sporting a genuine smile, the kind that makes her eyes crinkle and shine. But every now and then there’s a photo of her with MG or one of her siblings where she’s grinning with reckless abandon and Josie thinks it makes her look outrageously pretty. 

_ Fuck it _ , Josie opens the messaging screen-

“Hey, Joooooosie!” Hope’s piercing shout startles Josie so bad she drops her phone. 

“Shit,” she mutters and picks her phone back up, not broken, “what, Hope?” 

“We’re leaving, c’mon!”

Josie sighs, closes the screen down, and slips her phone into her pocket.

Some other time then.

\---

Josie can’t remember having a day this terrible at work in a long time. She’s in the nurses’ locker room wearing blood stained scrubs and shaking hands. She keeps flinching as images from the day flash through her head. 

The teen practically tore in half from a car accident. 

The burn victim from the apartment fire. 

The gangbanger with multiple gunshot wounds. 

The rape victim. 

Her shift ended twenty minutes ago but she hasn’t moved. She doesn’t have anything left in her to get herself home. She can’t seem to shake the screams from the burn victim out of her head and the smell of blood won’t leave her nostrils. Some days she can’t remember why she does this job. 

Josie takes a deep breath and drags herself out of the hospital. She doesn’t bother to change, trudging home in her ratty winter coat and blood covered scrubs. Her mind is nothing but violent flashes of trauma as she commutes: blood and seared flesh and screams and cries and anger and sadness. 

By the time Josie reaches the stairs of her apartment building, she’s so exhausted that she wants to cry. She chances a glance at her watch, it’s only 2pm. One foot in front of the other for four flights and she can finally see her hallway. 

But she pauses before reaching the top because she can hear voices by where her door is. 

“No it’s really no problem, I don’t mind walking you all the way to the door.” 

“I just feel like such an idiot, forgetting my keys over here and not being able to get home.” 

And Josie’s so frazzled by her day she can’t quite place the voices until she hears it, that laugh. 

Penelope’s laugh could cut through just about anything. Josie thinks it’s one of those things she’ll never forget and she doesn’t know why. But it’s always been such a comforting sound, today is no different. It’s like the sound of that laugh eases some of the tightness in her chest.

Three more steps and she’s at the top. Josie finds Penelope Park, once again dressed to kill, and Hope Mikaelson fumbling with the door across the hallway from hers. Both women jump at the sight of Josie, as if caught doing something totally inappropriate. 

“Jo,” Hope finds her voice first and Penelope just stares at her, Josie doesn’t have the energy to try and guess what’s behind her gaze, “I can’t find my keys but weirdly found what I thought was a spare to Lizzie’s place in the bottom of my purse. Turns out it’s just some random key,” she smiles sheepishly, “can you let me in?”

Josie doesn’t bother to say a word. She opens Lizzie’s door then promptly turns around and lets herself into her own apartment and back towards her bedroom, the thought of a hot shower and her bed almost overwhelming at this point. The edges of her vision seem fuzzy and Hope’s words to her had been almost muffled. Her mind won’t stop buzzing. 

“Josie.”

Penelope’s voice is incredibly soft and sweet as it floats through Josie’s apartment. And Josie almost melts before remembering that she left the owner of that voice out in the hallway, so why can she hear her? She must be officially losing it. 

Josie shuffles back towards her door and finds Penelope holding her door open, hovering between the hallway and her apartment. She looks unsure of what to do next, as if she didn’t think this through, half her body still in the hallway and her arm extended, holding the door open. 

“Penelope,” Josie’s voice is rough and broken and she knows she sounds exhausted, “what are you doing?”

“You just seem like-” it’s then that Penelope rushes into the apartment with wide eyes, “is that blood, are you hurt?” And she reaches for Josie but stops herself before making contact, letting her arms drop back down to her side but her intense gaze travels the length of Josie’s body. 

Oh, the bloody scrubs, she’s still wearing them. Josie feels like her brain is lagging. 

“I-I’m ok, tough day at work,” she grimaces as the day flashes through her mind again. 

Penelope doesn’t look convinced and she won’t stop looking at Josie with that unbelievably soft, concerned stare. It’s then that Josie is struck with the reality of the situation, Penelope Park, in all her glory, is standing in Josie’s modest one bedroom apartment. 

It’s too much to even work through right now. 

“Pen,” the nickname slips out, Josie chalks it up to being drained, “I need shower and sleep, that’s all.”

Penelope takes a tentative step towards Josie, her eyes full of worry, “You look,” Josie watches her pause and try to find the right word to describe Josie, “broken. I don’t want to leave you alone. Is it ok if I just chill on your couch for a little bit, you don’t even have to talk to me. I just want to make sure you’re going to be ok.”

Josie doesn’t have any more words, so she just nods and leaves Penelope by the door. She can feel Penelope’s eyes follow her back to her bedroom, she shuts the door and finally climbs into the shower. 

She almost falls asleep standing up in the shower but manages to force herself to stay awake, the thought of Penelope hearing her fall in shower absolutely appalling. Josie goes through the motions of dressing in shorts and a tank top, brushing her hair out, and slapping some lotion on her face. 

Before she allows herself to collapse in her bed, she peeks out into her living room, doing her best to be as quiet as possible. Josie finally smiles at the sight of Penelope, dressed from head to toe in expensive designer clothes, lounging on her hand-me-down couch and smiling softly to herself as she reads a tattered novel she must’ve pulled off Josie’s bookshelf. 

Josie slips back into her bedroom and releases a deep sigh, the sight of her bed almost making her weep.

Finally some rest. She’s unconscious the moment her head hits the pillow.

\---

When Josie wakes up, it’s dark. The alarm clock numbers are blurry and unreadable, so she rubs her eyes and pulls herself into a sitting position, the fog in her brain apparently lifted. It’s almost 8:30pm. 

She flips her bedside lamp on and pulls a hoodie from high school over her head before padding out into the rest of her apartment. Her stomach rumbles and she remembers she hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast. 

Instinctively and with a little hope, she glances at the couch where Penelope had been perched several hours ago. She’s gone, the apartment is quiet. But the smell of that expensive perfume lingers. Josie doesn’t mind. 

Her living room lamp is lit, giving off a warm glow and Josie notices a note sitting on her counter.

_ Thought you might need some fuel. Check the fridge. _

_ -P _

A phone number is scrawled across the bottom and Josie is comforted to see that Penelope’s chicken scratch handwriting is the same as it was in high school. No frilly hearts over ‘i’s’ or loopy letters for Penelope Park. 

The previously empty fridge now contains a salad, a jug of soup, and a chicken salad sandwich. 

Josie pulls out her phone.

_ Thank you. You made my shitty day less shitty. _

She goes to toss her phone on the counter but it buzzes instantly. 

**Penelope Park:** _ Of course. Anything for you. _

And Josie smiles once more.

  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. As usual with Lizzie, she is impeccably dressed and groomed, not a single hair out of place. Josie is wearing booty shorts and the old shirt she managed to wrestle on before collapsing into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, sorry this took a little longer. Suffering from a little writer's block. This was rushed and so there was less editing because I just wanted to get it to you guys. Thank you for everything and please, drop a comment and let me know what you think xoxo

She’s jolted awake by a pounding noise coming from somewhere in her apartment. Josie’s blood instantly runs cold and she grabs the bat propped against her bed, instantly swinging into a ready position. 

Her heart is pounding from being jerked from such a deep sleep as she slinks nervously through her apartment in search of the sound. The pounding continues and she doesn’t take a breath until she realizes it’s coming from her front door. 

Josie groans as she looks through the peephole and sees who is assaulting her door. She did not get enough sleep to deal with this. 

“Josette,” Lizzie is already talking before Josie even has the door all the way open, “I couldn’t get into your apartment.” 

Lizzie stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. As usual with Lizzie, she is impeccably dressed and groomed, not a single hair out of place. Josie is wearing booty shorts and the old shirt she managed to wrestle on before collapsing into bed. 

Josie just rolls her eyes and pads into the kitchen, “Coffee?” 

“What? Josie no,” Lizzie leans against the kitchen counter and picks at her nails, something she’s always done when she’s nervous, “why give me a key if I can’t even get in?” 

The coffee seems to drip impossibly slow and it almost makes Josie cry. She desperately needs a burst of caffeine or at least something to do with her still shaky hands. Apparently yesterday has fried her nerves indefinitely.

“Lizz,” Josie groans, “I bolted the door, I needed as much sleep as possible,” she pours a precious cup of coffee, “which you interrupted anyway, so thanks.” 

She shoots Lizzie a sarcastic smile and Lizzie doesn’t even bother to look apologetic. 

“Wellll,” Lizzie drawls out the word, “excuse me for caring.” 

Josie hops up onto the counter and folds her legs under her, taking a long sip from her steaming mug. In true Lizzie fashion, she doesn’t seem to mind that she’s intruded on Josie’s morning or that she might be unwelcome. She continues to just lean against the counter and pick at her nails, more bothering her than she seems to want to admit. Josie has always been able to tell when Lizzie needs to say more. 

“Lizzie,” Josie pokes at her twin’s shoulder, “why are you here in my kitchen disturbing my peaceful solitude?” 

Lizzie’s face falls slightly as she frowns down at her hands, “Hope told me last night that you,” she looks up and shrugs at Josie, “uh you looked rough coming home from work.”

“I had a trying day.” 

“Yeah,” Lizzie nods and reaches over to rest her hand on Josie’s, “I wanted to make sure you were ok. So are you? Like ok?” 

A rush of affection washes over Josie as Lizzie squeezes her hand. Sometimes Josie thinks the love she carries for her twin will make her heart burst. 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be ok,” Josie does her best to muster up a comforting smile, “I’m just tired.” 

“You know you can talk to me about the hard work stuff,” Lizzie says. 

Josie pulls her hand back into her own lap and drops her gaze from Lizzie. No, no she doesn’t think she could tell Lizzie about yesterday. Josie is the strong, stoic one and that’s ok. She can be that even after a day like yesterday. 

“I know and honestly, I’ll be fine,” Josie slides down the counter, turning her back on Lizzie to pour another cup of coffee. She’s afraid if Lizzie can see her face, she’ll see the lies and the pain. 

“It’s just,” Lizzie spins Josie back around by the shoulders, “Hope said she saw blood, like on you and I just couldn’t help but think the worst. My mind, it does that you know? I didn’t know if you were hurt or, or something. So I needed to see you this morning, that’s all.” 

The confession hits Josie like a sucker punch, all the air seemingly gone from her lungs because she wants to tell Lizzie that maybe she’s not ok, maybe yesterday cut her deep. But instead all she manages is pulling Lizzie into a tight hug and nodding against her shoulder. 

“Thank you,” she mutters into her much taller twin’s shoulder. 

“Anytime,” Lizzie gives her a brilliant smile that soon turns into a smirk, “Hope told me some other interesting news.” 

Josie just shrugs and raises a questioning eyebrow at Lizzie. It’s too early and she’s too tired to play the guessing game with her sister. 

“So, Hope says she and Penelope were working on some project together or something and that Hope needed a folder, maybe,” sometimes Josie hates how Lizzie tells stories, “anyway, they came here because she’d left it on my kitchen counter and that’s when they ran into you.” 

“Yes, Lizzie,” Josie rolls her eyes, “I was there I know that part.” 

“Chill,” Lizzie scolds and crosses her arms, “I’m getting to my favorite part. Hope says you let her into my apartment and then without a word disappear into yours. Funny thing is,” Lizzie is grinning, “Hope says Penelope practically sprinted after you and then Hope never heard or saw her come back out. Like Penelope didn’t even contact Hope until way late last night to apologize.”

Josie can feel the heat on her face, “What is your point Lizzie?” 

“Josette, did Penelope Park spend the night here?”

There have been several occasions where Josie wishes she did not live across the hall from her twin: any time she tries to bring someone home to hook up, the night Hope and Lizzie became official, and now this, this right here. 

“God, Lizzie,” Josie groans, “no she didn’t.” 

Lizzie gives her a probing stare, “Then what happened?” 

“She was concerned about me, so she sat on my couch while I slept. When I woke up she was gone. That’s it.”

“Hmm,” Lizzie hums, “not quite as exciting as I was hoping. I kinda wanted some drama.” 

Josie scoffs, “Isn’t that what you always want?” 

“Maybe,” Lizzie winks, “I have to run but I love you and we’ll talk later, yeah?” 

She doesn’t wait for a response, instead dropping a kiss to Josie’s cheek and waltzing out of the apartment, her heels echoing out in the hallway. Josie chuckles softly to herself and shakes her head, her chest aching with endearment for Lizzie. 

It’s just after nine in the morning so Josie figures that the chicken salad from last night can be breakfast if she slaps it on a bagel. She unlocks her phone as she waits for the bagel to toast, her hands habitually opening Penelope’s account on Instagram. 

Today’s morning photo is a shot of her and MG at work, big grins and coffees being held in front of them. The caption is something about supporting local, organic, clean businesses.

She should text Penelope again, thank her for last night...no, that’s stupid. She already did that. This needs to be more...she presses the button before she has time to change her own mind. 

“Josie.” 

Penelope picks up on the first ring and Josie is immediately knocked off balance. 

“H-Hi, Penelope,” get it together Saltzman, “ I was just wondering if I could repay you for last night.” 

She hears Penelope sigh into the phone, “There’s nothing to repay Josie.”

“C’mon, let me buy you lunch, it’s a small thing I can do to thank you,” she hears Penelope sigh again and then some papers shuffle around, “please, Penelope?” 

“I am swamped today, Jo,” Penelope’s voice is the epitome of professional and now she hears the clacking of computer keys, “when’s your next day off?” 

“Like next week, maybe, I never know for sure until the day before.” 

More shuffling of papers, “I leave for Boston in two days and I don’t know when I’ll be back.” 

And Josie would never admit to anyone that the news of Penelope leaving town makes her heart sink a little. 

“I could bring you lunch today, instead of going anywhere.” She surprises herself with the offer and rubs at her eyes because what the hell is she thinking? 

“My office is all the way downtown, you know that…” Penelope’s voice trails off and for the first time in their conversation her voice has gotten softer, gentler. It’s the voice Josie is used to hearing Penelope use with her. 

“Penelope, I don’t mind, please.” 

There are several long seconds of silence before Penelope responds.

“Ok, ok you win. I’ll send you the address, I’m free around one.” 

And without another word Penelope Park hangs up. Josie’s phone pings not ten seconds later with the address of Penelope’s office and Josie almost regrets her offer because the office is in the middle of downtown, a thirty or forty minute public transportation commute. 

She passes the time with all the crap she’s been meaning to get down over the last few days. Josie sweeps and dusts and folds laundry and puts away the dishes and finally takes out the garbage. She calls Caroline for a quick check in but it turns into a twenty minute conversation. 

Caroline sounds like she’s almost crying when they say goodbye. She has been doing this more frequently these days. 

By the time Josie pulls on a pair of jeans, laces up her boots, and tugs a sweater over her head, it’s noon. For reasons she absolutely refuses to acknowledge, there are butterflies buzzing around her stomach and her eye is practically twitching.

She feels like an idiot or maybe like a 15 year old going on their first date.God, this is not a date, she needs to get a grip. 

Josie chalks up her sporadic and completely lunatic thinking to her exhaustion from yesterday. A better rested mind and she would be able to properly rationalize walking six blocks to pick up food and then commuting downtown but right now, right now all she wants is to see Penelope.

\--------

Downtown Chicago is loud and smells bad and Josie  _ hates _ it down here. She’s standing in front of a very tall, very modern looking tower. It’s one of those buildings where everything is glass and it’s top floors disappear into the soup of the gray sky.

She lets out a shaky breath before pushing her way through the revolving doors. Josie gets blasted with warm air before practically stumbling out into the lobby. It’s then that she realizes Penelope didn’t tell her which floor she’s on. 

This just doesn’t seem like the kind of place where they allow someone to wander around until they find what they need. Several security guards are stationed throughout the lobby and everyone getting on the elevators seem to have some sort of keycard. Josie feels kind of overwhelmed. 

“Hello, can I help you?” 

A slight man, who looks no more than twelve, taps Josie on the shoulder. He’s holding a tablet and wears a slightly condescending smile on his face. 

“Yes, actually,” Josie internally cringes, “I’m here to see Ms. Park and I just need to know which floor is her’s.” 

The kid laughs in her face, “You really think you can just walk in here and  _ see _ Ms. Park? Just like that?” 

“She’s expecting me,” she seethes and she wonders how bad it would be if she just knocked this infant out right here. 

“Sure,” he doesn’t look convinced, “I’ll check on that.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Hey Hannah, this is David down in the lobby,” he smiles smugly at Josie as he talks into a bluetooth, “I have someone claiming they are here to see Ms. Park. No, no...yeah, hold on,” he directs his attention back to Josie, “what’s your name?” 

“Josie Saltzman.” She glares at him, knowing full well that this is one of the most petty encounters with anyone she’s probably ever had. 

“Hannah? Yeah it’s a Josie Salztman, no, yeah that’s a real name. Girl, she’s standing right in front of me,” he laughs and Josie’s blood boils, “yeah I’ll wait.” 

It takes about three seconds before David’s face falls as he listens to his bluetooth device. 

“Something wrong, David?” Josie asks in a sickly sweet voice. 

“No, Ms. Saltzman not at all,” he rummages around in his pockets and holds out a keycard, “Ms. Park is expecting you. She’s on the 75th floor.”

Josie snatches the card out of his hand and marches off toward the elevators, her rage simmering. She swipes the card and waits, several people gathering around her as she stands there, a brown paper bag clutched in her left hand. 

An elevator to her right pings and the crowd migrates into the small space. She’s instantly squished between a tall woman in a three piece suit and two men in gym clothes. What even is this building? 

The elevator seems to stop every other floor as they ascend and the flow of people on and off has forced Josie to the back corner. Her phone buzzes in her hand,  _ Dad _ flashing on the screen. She immediately sends him to voicemail, anger still flaring when she thinks about her dad.

Around the 50th floor, the cramped elevator finally empties, leaving just Josie and two other people. Her phone buzzes again.

_ Lizz: Are you ignoring dad???? _

Josie rolls her eyes and stuffs her phone into the bottom of her purse. She refuses to do this today, deal with her father and her anger and Lizzie’s lack of awareness. She closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths, sometimes she can almost dream up a different life. If she really lets herself go her dad never started drinking, Lizzie isn’t hurting all the time, and maybe, once in a while, she dreams of a life with Pe- 

“Jo?” 

Her eyes snap open and she finds a grinning MG standing in the open elevator doors, everyone else that had occupied the space is gone. He’s dressed in the deepest purple suit she’s ever seen and he has a similar looking tablet to everyone else she’s seen. 

“MG,” she exclaims and pulls him into a one armed hug, “I had no idea you were in Chicago.”

He chuckles and pushes the elevator button before turning back to her, “Yeah, Peez has me working on a few projects here.” 

They’re still 15 floors away from her destination. 

“Oh like what?” 

“I work in the charity slash community outreach sector,” he taps at a few things on his tablet aimlessly, “here in Chi-town I’m working on setting up better shelters for the homeless. Peez, makes sure that every city the company operates in has adequate social resources.” 

“Wow, that’s pretty incredible actually,” she doesn’t mean to sound shocked, really. 

“You should surprised,” he laughs, his eyes dancing, “wait, what are you doin’ here?” and then his eyes go big, “Shit, you here to see Peez?” 

She almost wishes she could tell him no, suddenly feeling very self conscious about her decision to come here. 

“Yeah,” she stares straight ahead and prays he doesn’t pick up the blush on her neck, “we’re doing lunch.” 

“Mhmmm,” he hums, “listen I gotta get off here,” the doors slide open, “here’s my card, I’m in Chicago for a while. Please hit me up.” 

MG strides away, fist bumping and chattering at people as the doors slide close and Josie is left alone. 

Three floors to go.

The elevator doors ping and slide open, the 75th floor, and Josie takes a deep breath before stepping out. Just to the right of the elevators is a lobby with several chairs and low tables, magazines and plants strewn about the area. 

“Can I help you?” 

A slight blonde woman, presumably Hannah, is seated behind a large black desk. She is young, younger than Josie but the amount of make-up and the way she’s dressed gives away her attempt to look older.

“Yeah, I’m Josie Saltzman,” she raises an eyebrow, almost daring the other woman to debate her on this. 

“Ms. Saltzman,” Hannah’s voice is dripping in fake charm, “we’ve been waiting for you. Go ahead, the double doors are behind me.” 

Josie nods and makes her way behind the large desk, she pauses before pushing her way through the doors. She has the slight urge to bolt, maybe this was a bad idea. Her and Penelope are on weird ground, kind of rebuilding some form of friendship. Maybe this is too much or too forward? 

“She’s waiting on you.” Hannah’s pushy tone snaps Josie out of it. She throws a glare over her shoulder at Hannah and pushes the doors open. 

It takes several moments for Josie to soak in everything. The first thing she notices is that Penelope’s office is  _ huge _ . There’s what looks like a mini conference room in one corner, several office chairs surrounding a long table. One whole wall of the office is windows that give a view of the gray sky and that’s where a large desk with three screens sits, a comfy looking office chair parked behind it. The rest of the office is scattered with couches, lounge chairs, and tables. The tables are covered in papers and 3-D models, a small bar tucked into the wall opposite the big desk. There are also plants everywhere, big and green and leafy. 

Josie’s gawking is interrupted by the sound of rapid Mandarin. She turns to find the voice and has to clamp a hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh. 

Penelope Park is sprawled out, star fishing almost, on one of the couches with her limbs dangling off the edges. One of her arms is draped dramatically over her eyes and Josie assumes she’s using one of those bluetooth devices because the other arm hangs off the couch, her fingers playing with the fringes of the rug. 

She’s jolted back in time at the sight, how many hours did Penelope spend looking like that during study sessions or movie nights or parties? Josie can’t stop the images that flash through her mind, Penelope stretched out over her bed, messy hair and a devilish smile. The nostalgic wave that runs through Josie, one that usually holds only pain or anger, has a twinge of yearning mixed into the pain. 

Josie almost feels bad when she clears her throat and sees Penelope’s entire body twitch, her head jerking up to make eye contact with Josie. Penelope holds up a finger and mouths  _ I’m sorry _ before continuing her conversation. 

She just nods and smiles at Penelope, settling down into one of the cushy lounge chairs. Penelope rearranges herself into a sitting position and rubs at her eyes, her lightning quick speech never faltering. 

“Sorry,” Penelope wrenches the earpiece out and throws it on the table in front of her, “hi.” 

She’s grinning at Josie with that eyebrow quirked again and Josie can’t help but beam back at her. 

“Hi,” Josie breathes out, “hungry?” 

“For lunch?” Penelope is smirking and gives Josie a daring wink. 

“Yes, Penelope,” Josie is proud of the way she somehow doesn’t stumble over her words or blush until she bursts into flames, “for lunch. Or I can just give your half to that lovely infant working your reception desk?” 

Penelope just laughs, her head falling back and she rocks up onto her feet, “Well what did ya bring me?” 

As she pads over, Josie notices that she’s barefoot and something about Penelope Park being dressed to the nines but walking around barefoot is endlessly endearing. 

“I brought these amazing Italian beef sandwiches from my neighborhood,” she hands Penelope her half, “they even gave me au jus on the side because they love me.” 

“Excellent,” Penelope walks over to the conference area, waving for Josie to follow, “there’s drinks in that mini fridge, help yourself.”

Before Penelope gets a chance to sit down, the intercom buzzes and a very dramatic whine escapes her throat. 

“Ms. Park?” 

Penelope strolls over to her desk and answers, “Yeah, Hannah, what’s up?” 

“You have a call from a Mr. Blake.” 

“Take a message.” 

“He says it’s important that he speaks with you now.” 

Penelope glances over at Josie and Josie tries to turn away, trying to hide the disappointment that is surely all over her face. She knows Penelope is important and busy but she was hoping for just a little time with her, that’s all.

“Yeah well I’m in a very important lunch, tell him I’ll call him later.” She rolls her eyes and makes her way back over to Josie. “I can’t even have lunch without people harassing me.” 

And Josie can’t believe that Penelope just brushed off some important work thing to eat messy Italian beef sandwiches with her. 

She tries not to read too much into it. Penelope is just being polite, honoring their plans.

Josie plants herself in one of the chairs and begins unwrapping her food, the smell of the sandwiches making her stomach grumble. She jumps when Penelope practically flops into the chair right next to her, a long sigh escaping her. 

“You ok?” Josie probes, taking a bite before looking over at Penelope. It’s then she notices how worn out Penelope looks, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. 

Penelope’s head lazily swivels so she’s staring at Josie, the smirk gone and a soft smile in its place. She sighs again, “I am now, thank you for this.” 

“No problem,” she has to change the subject or something to get Penelope to stop looking at her like  _ that _ , “so uh, this building is something else. Is the whole thing Park Industries?” 

“Oh no,” Penelope finally tears her gaze away, “we’re just the top ten floors.” 

“And you aren’t on the top? The big boss lady?” 

Penelope laughs again and Josie’s chest tightens, the sound is addictive. 

“Nah, the top five floors are research and development, you have to have pretty intense security clearance to get up there.” 

“Which you have,” Josie assumes Penelope gets to do whatever she wants. 

“Of course,” Penelope winks at her, “my last name is Park after all.” 

This is good, banter is good and easy and light and fun. Josie can do this, it’s not so bad. Sometimes when she’s with Penelope like this, she can forget everything else; like carrying around ten years of hurt feelings. 

They eat in silence for several minutes, every now and then glancing at each other and smiling. 

“How are you? Feeling better after last night?” Penelope breaks the silence and pushes her chair back away from the table, pulling her legs up into the chair. Josie wonders how many people get to see Penelope like this, comfy and relaxed. 

Josie wipes at her mouth, afraid she’s covered in her lunch, “Yeah, I’m ok, sometimes the job is really hard. Yesterday was one of the hard days.” 

“Ok,” Penelope is frowning slightly, a crease in between her eyes and worry written all over her face, “do you want to talk about it?”

She’s nodding before Penelope even finishes the question, “No, no I promise. I just came here to eat lunch with you. I’m ok.” Penelope isn’t as easily convinced as Lizzie and she continues to give Josie a skeptical stare. Penelope doesn’t say anything, merely hums and starts gathering their garbage. “Your office is awfully impressive.” 

“Thank you,” Penelope says, “when I’m in Chicago I basically live here.”

“Well, except when you’re stalking me in French coffee shops.”

“Ah yes,” there’s that laugh again, “I have to get my thrills somehow.”

They’ve both settled onto the same couch, their bodies pivoted to face each other with Penelope’s arm slung casually across the back of the couch. Their soft laughter dies down and Josie becomes acutely aware of their knees almost touching. 

She swallows thickly, “I should let you get back to work,” Josie stands suddenly and in a very Alaric like move, rubs at the back of her neck.

“Sure,” Penelope almost looks disappointed but Josie must be imagining it, “apparently Mr. Blake desperately needs to talk to me.” She wiggles her eyebrows and it makes Josie laugh again.

Penelope walks her to the office doors and they hesitate there, Josie not ready to go and Penelope not ready for her to leave. 

“Let me know when you’re back from Boston?” Josie asks, ashamed to admit she comes close to begging, “We should go for drinks.” 

“I’d love that,” Penelope smiles softly and she raises a hand between them before letting it fall, her smile faltering slightly. 

So, Josie steps back and opens the door part way.

“Bye, Penelope.” 

“See ya, Josie.” 

The doors close between them with a soft thud.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you even listening to me?” Lizzie’s annoyance breaks Josie’s trance, she’d been watching the big, fluffy snowflakes fall outside.  
> She snaps back to attention, “Yes, sorry. What was that last thing you said?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, sorry this one is a little shorter BUT the next chapter is Thanksgiving and I am pumped. Thank you so much for all your reads, kudos, comments. Love to you all.

Like every year since Josie became a nurse, Halloween came and went while she worked one of the busiest shifts of the year. People came in with missing limbs, lacerations, concussions, stomachs in need of pumping, and almost any other injury she could think of. But now Thanksgiving is on the horizon and she cannot wait. 

Josie loves the combo of Thanksgiving and then Christmas, she gets both holidays off because she sacrifices Halloween and New Year’s Eve. It’s worth it every year. She doesn’t even mind that this year, Lizzie wants to go home for Christmas. Josie has to admit that there is something magical about Mystic Falls during Christmas. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Lizzie’s annoyance breaks Josie’s trance, she’d been watching the big, fluffy snowflakes fall outside.

She snaps back to attention, “Yes, sorry. What was that last thing you said?” 

“I didn’t invite you over to plan Thanksgiving just so you could ignore me,” Lizzie huffs and Josie grimaces, “I was saying that I really want this one to go well. It’s me and Hope’s first Thanksgiving as a couple.” 

“Lizz,” Josie scoffs, “c’mon, why put pressure on this? It’s just some friends all getting together for food and booze. And everyone already knows you guys are like together and everything.” 

Josie has been watching Lizzie pace around the immaculate kitchen for several minutes and she can tell Lizzie is anxious about something. Her brow is furrowed and Josie can see the clench of Lizzie’s jaw.

“It’s just,” Lizzie shakes her head, “I still feel like I have to impress her. I can’t believe she’s with me. I’m like damaged goods, Jo and she’s so...perfect. You know how I get.” 

She’s almost in tears, standing in her kitchen with her perfect clothes staring at Josie with pleading eyes. And Josie’s heart cracks in her chest, the way it only ever does for Lizzie. 

“Bub,” Josie drops her childhood nickname for Lizzie, “She adores you, every piece of you,” Josie marches around the kitchen island and forcibly pulls Lizzie into a hug, “You have got to find a way to trust her ok?” 

She pulls away and grabs Lizzie’s hands. Josie thinks about telling Lizzie about her conversation with Hope. The way Hope’s eyes lit up when she said Lizzie’s name or how her voice got gentle or how she confessed to loving Lizzie since they were kids. But Josie stops herself, she’s not about to steal Hope’s ‘I love you’ to her sister. 

“Right,” Lizzie wipes at her eyes and like always, seems to pivot so fast away from the emotional moment that Josie almost falls down, “So, Thanksgiving. I need a guest list.”

Josie lets out a long breath, taking a moment to stare around Lizzie’s apartment. It’s the exact opposite of Josie’s. Where Josie’s is full of mismatched furniture and random decor and, what she likes to call, organized mess; Lizzie’s apartment is pristine. 

And it should be, Lizzie is an interior decorator after all. It’s sleek and sharp, with black and white accents throughout the apartment. Each piece of art or decoration is so intentional that Josie wonders if Lizzie even actually likes anything in here, few familiar or comforting things displayed.

The only photos of anyone that Lizzie has out, are three framed 4x6 photos on her mantle. The first is a recent picture of Hope and Lizzie, it’s cute. Hope is nestled into her sister’s side and they’re both smiling like idiots. The second is a candid shot of the twins and Caroline when they attempted to bake cookies together. All three of them are in various states of hysterical laughter with tears in their eyes and flour clouds hanging in the air around them. 

The last picture Josie can hardly look at. It’s from when they were maybe 4 or 5 years old, Alaric carrying one of them on each shoulder and their arms wrapped around his neck. Looking at the picture makes Josie a little sick, knowing where they all end up.

Josie thinks that the three pictures tell everything anyone ever needs to know about Lizzie.

“Helloooo? Where’d you go?” Lizzie is standing there with her hands on her hips and with such a Caroline expression that Josie laughs, her hands coming up to try and cover her mouth. 

“Sorry,” she giggles through her fingers, “you look like Mom.” 

Lizzie’s eyes narrow, “You’re being impossible.” But she can’t hold her scowl long and ends up smiling at Josie before throwing a dish towel at her. 

“Ok,” Josie’s laughter dies down, “The guest list; well it’s just going to be you, me, Hope, and let’s invite MG. He’s in the city for a while.” 

“Anyone else?”

_Penelope…_

“Well…” Josie doesn’t know how to tell her twin that what she really wants is, yeah to invite Penelope. 

“Oh my god Jo,” Lizzie groans, “just say you want Penelope to come.” 

Josie almost chokes on her coffee, “W-what makes you, I don’t, she-” 

“It’s fine,” Lizzie rolls her eyes, “ask her if she can make it. You’ve done nothing but pout since she left anyway.” 

She has not been pouting. Has she been kind of bummed? Sure. Has she talked to Penelope every day since she’s been gone? Yeah but like they’re friends just trying to stay in touch. 

“Fine, I’ll tell her you want her at Thanksgiving.” Josie mutters and avoids her sister’s penetrating stare. 

“Josie, honestly, the _last_ thing I want is to host a Thanksgiving dinner for Penelope Park but I’m not stupid and I can tell she means,” Lizzie pauses and kind of throws her hands up, “ _something_ to you so just let her know the details.” 

Josie just nods and smiles to herself, “Ok, I’ll tell Penelope and MG, that work?” 

“Yeah, ok I have a meeting in an hour,” Lizzie starts gathering up her things and pulls Josie towards the door, “text me later, love you, bye.” 

She doesn’t even have time to respond as Lizzie whisks away, leaving Josie standing out in the hallway between their apartments, Lizzie’s coffee mug still in her hand. She shrugs and lets herself back into her own place, the contrast between the apartments jarring. 

Josie groans and flops down on her couch, her body aching from the last week of work. It’s been busy but in a good way, with a lot of success and nothing traumatic. But it still doesn’t mean she isn’t wiped.

She lets her eyes close and her mind wander, she’s at the point where things are fuzzy and she’s dancing on the edges of sleep. 

Then her phone buzzes next to her, yanking her back to reality. 

“What?” She growls into the phone and doesn’t bother looking at who is calling. 

“Well shit, you’re cranky.” 

Josie grins at Penelope’s teasing, her mood instantly improved. 

“Had I managed to see who was calling I would have responded a little different,” Jo rolls over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling, “I would _never_ dare sass, the Penelope Park.”

That delightful laugh drifts through the phone, echoing around in Josie’s head, “Perfect response Jo.” 

“Not to be like a dick or anything but why are you calling me?” Josie glances at the clock on the wall, it’s only nine in the morning her time so ten in Boston. “Aren’t you like, crazy busy?” 

“Yeah,” Penelope sighs, “I’m in between meetings and I just needed to talk to someone who doesn’t kiss my ass and just agree with everything I say. So it was you or Hope.” 

Josie gives a soft laugh, “Aw, your minions bothering you, huh?” 

“It’s hard being adored by all, you have no idea.” 

“Sure,” Josie can practically hear Penelope grinning, “it’s actually crazy you called just now. I have a question for you.” 

“Yeah,” the sound of rustling papers cuts through Penelope’s voice, “hit me.” 

And suddenly Josie is kind of nervous, which she definitely realizes is insane. 

“Well I was just talking to Lizzie,” Josie has to bite back a chuckle because she can see Penelope rolling her eyes at the mention of Lizzie in her mind, “about Thanksgiving.” 

“Oh yeah,” more shuffling of papers.

“Yeah Lizzie wants you to come for our friend Thanksgiving.” Josie doesn’t mean to rush the words out but the tumble out of her mouth, all running together. 

There are several long moments of silence, even the sound of papers being messed with has stopped. 

“Uh,” Penelope clears her throat, “did you just say your sister, Elizabeth Satlzman, wants me at her Thanksgiving dinner?” 

“Yes.”

“Yeah, no,” Penelope gives a sarcastic laugh, “are you screwing with me? There’s no way.” 

“Honest, it was her idea,” Josie wanders into her bedroom and falls onto her bed.

“Huh, well I’m supposed to still be in Boston at Thanksgiving,” she sighs, “so I can’t promise anything.”

Josie tries to shake off the disappointment, “Yeah that’s fine, you do what you have to,” then she decides to be a little brave, “but I would love it if you could make it.” 

“Yeah, yeah it’d be nice to have an actual Thanksgiving,” there’s a sudden sadness in Penelope’s tone and Josie clutches her phone a little tighter, “hey, I gotta run but I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” 

“Bye,Penelope.”

Josie can’t remember not having a rushed end to her conversations with Penelope. Any time she calls, Penelope manages to squeeze a conversation in between meetings or fancy dinners or drinks or whatever she has going on. So, their talks are usually brief, ending without ceremony.

She groans as she stretches the length of her bed, twisting so she can watch the snowflakes drift outside her window. Josie has lunch with Hope in a few hours but the morning is hers to just waste away. She’s ok with that.

Josie spends most of the morning doing basically nothing, she drinks more coffee and reads some of the book she’s been trying to finish for weeks and scrolls aimlessly through her phone. She does manage to shoot MG a text about Thanksgiving. He immediately responds telling Josie he can’t wait and he’ll be there.

The snow continues to fall in those big, pretty flakes as Josie pulls herself together to go meet Hope. Luckily they agreed on a spot in Josie’s neighborhood because there is no way she’d drag herself any further into the city today. 

As Josie trudges through almost a foot of snow to meet Hope, she can’t help but reminisce about snow back in Mystic Falls, about the fights and love and everything else. 

Lizzie, Josie, and Hope used to spend hours in the woods when it snowed. They’d build snow forts and throw snowballs at each other and slide around on the frozen creeks. Caroline used to finally drag them back inside and give them hot cocoa and wrap them in blankets. 

Snow always meant Christmas and presents and music. All of their family and friends would gather in Caroline’s house and Josie remembers just being surrounded by so much joy and love. It still makes her chest swell thinking about it, she hopes it’ll still be like that this year. 

But maybe even stronger than those memories is the one involving Penelope of course. They had been out with all their friends having a huge day long snowball fight. There had to have been 20 kids from their class out in the field by the high school, acting like idiots but having the time of their lives. 

Towards the end of the fight, Josie took a particularly hard hit in the chest from someone. It knocked her down and she had a little trouble catching her breath, her glove covered hands grasping at her coat as she tried to take a deep breath. 

All of a sudden Penelope was hovering over her, those big green eyes full of worry and Josie watched as she flung her gloves off. Penelope had cupped Josie’s face, made sure she was ok, and pulled her into her arms.

Josie can remember how cold she was, the snow that had gotten inside her coat melted into water against her skin. She can remember the heat from Penelope’s hands on her face. She can remember how fiercely Penelope hugged her.

And then it happened, Penelope whispered _I love you_ for the first time into Josie’s ear. 

Josie doesn’t think she’ll ever forget the shockwave that ran through her body at hearing Penelope say those words to her. 

So that’s what she’s thinking about as she slides into the booth across from Hope Mikaelson. 

“Hey Jos, you ok?” Hope reaches across the table and puts her hand on top of Josie’s mitten covered one. 

Josie pulls away, “Yeah, yeah why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You just looked kind of far away when you walked in,” Hope shrugs, those calculating eyes roaming over Josie’s face, “thought maybe something was wrong.” 

She doesn’t answer Hope, just peels off the layers of clothing she now doesn’t need and decides she most definitely doesn’t need to tell Hope she was thinking about Penelope Park...again. 

“You remember the snow like this back home? When we were kids?”

Hope smiles softly, “Yeah, we sure acted like idiots back then.” And then she frowns, “Actually the winter I always remember the most is that ski trip we took in the mountains when we were Seniors.”

The waitress interrupts them, both of them not even trying to pretend they aren’t going to drink through the lunch. Hope orders a white wine and Josie gets a bloody mary, no shame. 

“I do remember that trip,” Josie spent the entire weekend wrapped up in all things Penelope, “god it feels like forever ago.” 

“I hated that trip,” Hope scowls and picks up her menu, her eyes leaving Josie.

Josie reaches over and pulls the menu out of Hope’s hands, “What? Seriously? That weekend was amazing, everybody had a blast.” 

“Oh, Josie,” Hope rolls her eyes, “you had zero clue what was going on that weekend, you just followed Penelope around with a stupid love-struck smile on your face.” 

“Ok,” Josie is having a slightly hard time not getting insulted, “then tell me now, what was going on that weekend?” 

“Who cares?” The waitress sets their drinks down and Hope immediately downs half her glass, “It was forever ago.”

“Then why bring it up?”

“Because you brought up us being kids and snow and shit.”

Josie’s eyes go wide at Hope’s sharp tone, “Don’t yell at me,” she scolds, “c’mon, tell me.” 

“Fine,” Hope slams the rest of her wine and signals the waitress for another one, “you remember who all went?” 

“Sure,” Josie takes a drink before answering, “uh me, you, Lizzie, Penelope, MG, Rafael, and wasn’t Landon there?” 

“Well I was basically just friends with you and Lizzie, Landon kind of,” she sighs and there’s that sad smile again, “you were off with Penelope doing whatever,” she raises her eyebrows suggestively and now Josie rolls her eyes, “and Lizzie was chasing after Rafael. I told Lizzie I loved her that weekend.” 

Josie chokes on her drink and coughs violently, the kind of cough where several strangers stare at her. She waves off Hope’s offer for assistance and finishes coughing, covering her mouth with a napkin as she tries to catch her breath, 

“Shit,” Josie clears her throat several times, “y-you what now?” 

“Yeah,” Lizzie lets out a deep breath, “I told your sister I was in love with her. And the next day she had sex with Raf.” 

Josie racks her brain, tries to remember any drama from that weekend or seeing Hope upset. She’s a little ashamed that she can’t even remember talking to Hope that weekend. But she does remember sleeping next to Penelope and snow angels with Penelope and endless kisses with Penelope. 

“Wait, what’d Lizzie even say to you?” 

A second glass of wine is placed in front of Hope, it’s drained in three gulps.

“Something about how I must be confused and we’re friends,” Hope’s eyes are starting to look a little unfocused, “she basically laughed it off, gave me a hug, and then went after Rafael. So yeah, snow and home and being teens wasn’t a fairytale for me.”

“Shit Hope,” Josie feels terrible, she’d been so caught up in her own stuff back then, “I didn’t know. I mean like I had zero clue you even liked Lizzie like that. I should’ve been there for you.” 

Hope shakes her head, “No, that’s not why I told you; to like make you feel bad. It’s wild I was so jealous of you back then. You and Penelope might have fought all the time but damn she loved you. Penelope would’ve done anything for you. I just wanted your sister to love me like that.” 

Food and more drink is placed in front of them before Josie can say anything. So she takes a few moments to pick at her sandwich and take several big pulls from her drink. 

“Yeah well she might have loved me but she did a shit job of it at the end.” 

Hope raises her wine, “Here’s to never being in high school again.” 

“Fuck yeah, cheers.” 

They laugh and Josie feels a little tipsy, which probably isn’t a great look at one in the afternoon in the middle of the week. She shoots a text to Lizzie, telling her to come pick Hope up in an hour because Hope just ordered more wine and there’s no way she’ll be able to get herself home. 

“So, speaking of Penelope,” Hope grins. 

“Ah, here we go,” Josie mutters, “what is it?” 

Hope laughs, her head thrown back and her eyes closed. Josie likes her like this, relaxed and open and happy. 

“Just be careful ok? Remember I’ve been in her life the past ten years,” Hope suddenly levels a serious stare at her, “I’ve seen what she’s been through and what she’s capable of.” 

Josie pushes her half eaten lunch to the side, “What exactly are you trying to say here, Hope?” 

“I guess I’m trying to tell you to be careful with your feelings and hers,” Hope says, “you fall in love with everyone,” Josie scoffs and goes to protest, “don’t try and deny it. And Penelope is complicated. She was so happy with her ex-husband and then since their separation she’s been different, doesn’t let anyone in. Just uses people and tosses them aside.” 

“Hope…”

“I just don’t want either of you getting hurt.” 

“Ok first, I don’t fall in love with everyone-”

“You literally fell in love with that guy that used to deliver our pizzas…”

“And second,” Josie ignores Hope’s comments, “We’re just trying to figure out how to be friends. I’m working on letting go of ten years of resentment and she’s doing whatever she needs. That’s all.”

Hope gives a little nod, “Ok.”

“Hey,” Josie walks around and slides into the booth next to Hope, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “thanks for looking out, for real.”

Hope twists and wraps both her arms around Josie, pulling her into an overly tight hug. 

“Uh I’m sorry but do you two idiots always get day drunk in the middle of the week and canoodle in booths?” 

Josie and Hope manage to untangle themselves to find Lizzie standing over them, a scowl on her face and a hand on her hip.

“Did you just say canoodle and what are you doing here?” Josie asks. 

Lizzie groans and glances at her watch, “Are you serious Jo? You freakin texted me, I’m here to take my girlfriend to my apartment to sleep this off.” 

Oh yeah, she had contacted Lizzie. How long ago was that?

“Aww girlfriend,” Hope teases and crawls over Josie, elbowing her in the head in the process, and out into Lizzie’s arms. 

And Josie feels that ugly twinge of jealousy as Lizzie’s icy demeanor melts when Hope wraps her arms around Lizzie’s waist. Lizzie even starts to laugh at whatever Hope just whispered into her ear. 

Josie has to look away. 

“Hey, you need a ride too?” 

Hope is trying to pull LIzzie towards the door but Lizzie is standing there, waiting on Josie with a concern written all over her face. 

“Nah, thanks,” Josie stands, “I could use the walk.” 

“Hope stop it,” Lizzie scolds and turns back to Josie, “are you sure?”

Josie gives Lizzie a quick hug, “Promise, take that mess home.”

“The mess you created!” Lizzie hollers over her shoulder and then they disappear out into the snowy streets. 

Her phone buzzes on the table next to empty wine glasses and half eaten lunches, pulling her away from staring after her sister. 

**Penelope Park:** _I’ll be there on Thanksgiving, tell lizzie thanks for the invite. See ya next week_

So there Josie sits, in a now empty restaurant, half drunk and smiling down at her phone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What? No!” That laugh, that damn laugh, “What’s the point of being this rich if I don’t have people employed just to drive me around. But I do have a question for you,” Penelope’s voice loses the humorous tone, “and I really need you to be honest with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah man, sorry this one took so long. I had a severe bout of writer's block and then just got busy with other stuff! Thank you all for your reads/kudos/comments. Love y'all.

Thanksgiving morning. 

The coffee seems to drip faster and the first sip pulls her out of grogginess easier than most mornings. The sun is casting beams through the crack in her curtains and she can see the dust particles dancing in the air. Her usual bowl of sugary cereal even tastes better. 

It’s such a peaceful moment, sitting there on her kitchen counter and it makes Josie smile. A calmness settles over her that she hasn’t felt in, she can’t even remember how long. Josie wishes she could live in this moment, this feeling forever.

It’s short lived. 

Josie is jerked out of her trance by muffled bickering from near her front door. It doesn’t bother her though, being yanked away from bliss because the sound means Lizzie and Hope have started getting ready for Thanksgiving. She can’t make out the words but every now and then her sister’s shrill screech slips under her door and fills Josie’s small apartment. 

She’s eternally grateful that Hope volunteered to help Lizzie, leaving Josie to spend the morning alone and only worry about bringing extra booze later.

The volume of the bickering rises and falls, sometimes disappearing completely and it’s during one of these lulls that Josie’s phone rings.

She can’t help but frown as her dad’s picture flashes on her screen. He’s been calling almost every week and she only feels a little guilty when she ignores him each time. Today there is no guilt, she refuses to let her dad ruin the holiday like he’s done so many times in the past. 

Josie has lost count of how many times her dad embarrassed her on a holiday or completely forgot the holiday or argued with her on a holiday. Her mind is already made up that he won’t do it again today. 

The phone finally stops buzzing and Josie releases a deep sigh, her eyes fluttering closed for a few moments. Her whole body tenses when it starts buzzing again but the name flashing across her screen now pulls a smile out of her instead of a scowl. 

“Don’t tell me you’re stuck in Boston?”

A harsh, almost bark like laugh flies through the phone, “Oh god no, I’m at Midway, made it to Chicago just fi-WOULD YOU WATCH WHERE-” 

The rest of Penelope’s shouting is unintelligible and Josie tries not to laugh because she can hear arguing and almost feel Penelope’s rage through the phone.

“Uh, Penelope,” Josie tries to interrupt whatever is happening, “you ok?” 

“Shit, shit,” there’s a lot of weird fumbling before Penelope speaks again, clearer this time, “Josie, sorry, I hate airports. Yeah yeah, everything is good.”

“Do you need me to come pick you up? I could be there in like a half hour or so.”

“What? No!” That laugh, that damn laugh, “What’s the point of being this rich if I don’t have people employed just to drive me around. But I do have a question for you,” Penelope’s voice loses the humorous tone, “and I really need you to be honest with me.”

Josie frowns slightly, unsure of what this could be about, “Y-yeah, of course, what is it?” 

She can hear Penelope take a deep breath, “Did you give your sister my phone number?” Josie freezes, her mouth clamped shut, “your silence is deafening, Saltzman.”

“Maybe it was Hope.” 

“Maybe,” the smile is back in Penelope’s voice, “Lizzie already threw you under the bus and that was a trap, maybe.”

Josie chuckles, “That’s a cruel thing to do on Thanksgiving.”

“ _That's_ cruel?” Josie can hear a car door shut and Penelope mutter something to her driver, “Your sister has been sending me demands for today.” 

“I hope nothing too crazy…”

“Oh, oh just listen to this,” and Josie would listen to Penelope literally talk about anything, “She told me to and I quote ‘not dress like a corporate robot or a homeless teenager’ which are apparently the only type of outfits I wear.”

Josie laughs, “Ok, I speak Lizzie, this is an easy one. No pantsuits and no shredded jeans. Come to think of it, do you even own anything other than those?” She relishes in being able to tease Penelope. 

“Josette,” Penelope’s voice is full of faux offense, “you wound me. She also told me to bring a red wine but nothing boring like a Merlot.” 

“Oh,” Josie can just imagine the eye roll that these demands got from Penelope, “lucky you.” 

“Yeah well, you’re on my list for giving her my number.”

“Hey, that was never confirmed,” Josie argues and she will never admit to her part in this. 

“Sure, sure,” Penelope’s chuckle is so soft, “hey I gotta run, see ya soon.”

There’s a click and then silence, Penelope is gone but Josie doesn’t mind, she’ll see the other girl soon enough.

Josie glances at the clock on the wall, she only has a couple hours before the supposed fun starts across the hall. 

She lets out a deep breath and hits the number two on her speed dial. It’s best to do this before she starts drinking and having fun. 

“Josette!” 

“Hey, mom,” Josie falls back on her couch, “Happy Thanksgiving.” 

“Oh it’s so sweet of you to call me,” Caroline’s voice wavers, “we always miss you girls extra around the holidays, don’t we Stef?” 

And of course Caroline puts Stefan on the phone, which is only slightly awkward as he asks softly about books and work and movies. Stefan Salvatore has never been overly loquacious with Josie or Lizzie but his calm manner and soft voice have always put Josie at ease. He also balances out her mother perfectly. 

A quick glimpse and she sees that she only has an hour before she’s due across the hall. Time to wrap up her talk with Caroline. 

“Hey mom,” Josie interrupts her mother’s rant about the neighbors, “I need to get going, I have to be at Lizzie’s soon.” 

“Oh of course,” Caroline says, “don’t let me keep you, baby.” 

“Mom, can I ask you something without you getting mad or weird?”

“Of course, I never get weird.” 

Josie rolls her eyes so hard she gets a little dizzy, “Has anyone checked on dad recently?” 

There are several long moments of silence before she hears her mom release a deep sigh.

“Yes, Stefan and Damon just saw him the other night,” Caroline pauses again, “they kept him from driving home drunk.”

“Oh,” Josie doesn’t know what she was expecting, she’s disappointed nonetheless. 

“Honey have you not talked to him?” 

“Uh no, not since reunion weekend,” she swallows down the hurt, “I just needed a break.”

“Josie you don’t have to explain it to me, trust me. And honey, you don’t owe him anything, take all the time you need, ok?” 

This, this right here makes everything else her mother does worth it. Caroline Forbes may be demanding, overbearing, and nosy but she supports Josie in every single thing she does or decision she makes, especially when it comes to her father. 

“Thanks, I love you, Mom.”

“Love you too.” 

They hang up and Josie feels conflicted. She knows she’s doing the best thing for herself by putting up some boundaries with her dad but at the same time, now other people are burdened with him and maybe he needs her. Maybe she really could be the one to help him get all the way sober. 

Her finger is hovering over the contact labeled ‘Dad’ when there is a knock at her door and she almost breaks her neck whipping around to frown at her door. 

“Lizzie whatever food shit you need I literally have noth-” She pulls open the door to find a grinning and impeccably dressed MG. 

“Your sister told me I could come say hi because and I quote ‘I want you no where near my food prep, Milton’ so here I am.” 

He laughs and brushes past her into her apartment, not waiting for Josie to actually invite him in. The sharp scent of his cologne almost makes Josie’s eyes water and he looks out of place in her messy living room. 

“Uh, so this is it.” She raises her arms and gestures vaguely to her tiny living quarters. MG just continues to smile as he thumbs the books on her shelves and inspects the various photos tacked or set all over. 

His suit today is a deep blue, almost two shades past navy, with a hot pink bow tie and pocket square. Josie thinks he’s overdressed but she knows Lizzie probably loves the ensemble. 

“It’s nice, Jo,” MG turns and smiles softly at her, “I basically live out of a suitcase these days, so this,” he looks around again, “this would be awesome.” 

And there is something kind of sad behind MG’s smile and she wants to press him, offer him solace but she catches sight of the clock hanging on her wall. 

“Shit,” she mutters, “please tell me that clock is wrong.”

“Uh, nah,” he is still smiling, she wonders if he ever isn’t smiling, “why do you think I’m here? I wouldn’t show up to this crazy early.” 

“I am not even close to ready.”

MG steps forward and places a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I’ll go back across the hall and stall ‘em or entertain ‘em. Do what you gotta do.” 

She can’t help but laugh as he twirls dramatically and moonwalks out of her apartment. Josie can even hear him loudly announce his return to Lizzie’s apartment and that it’s met with groans. That expensive cologne seems to cling to everything in her apartment even though he didn’t really touch anything. 

In record time Josie showers, puts on her face, and dresses. She does her best to just keep her mind blank, but the thought of her dad being alone today sends wave after wave of guilt crashing through her. Maybe she should just text him. 

Josie pulls her phone back out and just stares at a blank text screen. Wish him a happy Thanksgiving? Ask how he is? Tell him she loves him? It would all feel forced, unauthentic and she just can’t push past the last bit of anger still tangled up with him. 

The phone goes back into her clutch. 

Josie doesn’t bother checking her clothes in the mirror before she heads across the hall, Lizzie practically picked out the black dress two weeks ago. Lizzie had been over and casually mentioned to Josie that this dress would be a great holiday look.

As she steps out into the hallway she can hear jazz, mumbled voices, and sporadic laughter through Lizzie’s door. Josie takes a moment to just listen to the sounds, a small smile on her face and her whole body aching with all the love she feels for what she’s about to walk into. 

“You just going to stand outside all night or can I walk you in?” 

This time Josie turns as soon as she hears that voice and doesn’t bother trying to hide her grin. 

“Penelope.” 

“Fancy meeting you here,” Penelope winks and comes to stand next to Josie, their arms almost brushing, “well, do you think I’ll pass inspection?” 

Josie tells herself it's only because Penelope asked and takes several long moments to take in Penelope’s appearance. Those darks curls are loosely pinned back and she’s the picture of casual but still like really beautiful. 

“Uh almost,” Josie reaches out, “let me just fix this…” she flips the pendant resting against Penelope’s collarbone so that it is facing forward and Josie does her very best to ignore the way Penelope’s breath hitches slightly at the touch. Later Josie will try to rationalize why she held onto the pendant for a few moments extra, her fingers against Penelope’s skin.

“T-thanks.” 

Josie withdraws her hand and does her best to not blush, “Of course.” 

There is something swimming behind Penelope’s eyes, a slight frown on her face, as if she’s thinking too hard. Josie’s acutely aware of how close they’re standing but can’t seem to back away, everything in her practically buzzing. 

“We should uh,” Penelope swallows thickly and then sort of shakes her head, “go inside, yeah?” 

Josie has to do something to break whatever this is because it’s too much, too loaded with things neither of them is saying. Penelope’s gaze is too intense and the clench of her jaw is too distracting.

“Yeah we should rescue MG,” Josie is able to force herself to take a step back, her head clearing instantly, “I sent him in there alone with Lizzie and Hope.” 

She’s relieved to see every single piece of Penelope soften at her words. That intensity melts and is replaced with a chuckle, soft eyes, and nose crinkling smile.

“How very irresponsible of you,” Penelope says, “poor guy is probably dead, how do you think your sister murdered him?” 

Josie just rolls her eyes and opens the door, letting herself into Lizzie’s apartment but she doesn’t get very far. She stops abruptly, not believing the sight before her and Penelope must not have been paying attention and runs right into her back.

“Josie what the hell?” 

Hope is perched on a kitchen barstool with a glass of champagne in one hand, the other arm wrapped around Lizzie’s waist as Lizzie lounges on Hope’s lap. MG is bustling about the kitchen in Lizzie’s apron and he’s rapping as her sister and Hope cheer him on. 

“This is weird,” it’s the best Josie can come up with because she doesn’t quite know how this happened. 

She glances at Penelope who is wide eyed and grinning next to her, “I’m obsessed with everything going on right now. This right here was worth the early morning flight.” 

“Josie! Penelope!” Hope practically shouts at them, waving for them to come further into the apartment. 

Their entrance doesn’t slow MG down at all, he just switches to beatboxing and begins whisking away in a very large bowl, his grin never wavering. 

Josie’s chest tightens and she has to blink back happy tears, the affection she has for the people surrounding her almost too much to contain inside her. 

Lizzie untangles herself from Hope and engulfs Josie in a tight hug as Penelope makes her way into the kitchen, her laughter bouncing off the walls and ringing in Josie’s ears. 

“Josie,” Lizzie mumbles into the side of her face, “happy Thanksgiving.” 

She pulls back from Lizzie, seemingly unable to stop smiling, “Happy Thanksgiving, Bub.”

“Yeah, know what?” Lizzie’s face scrunches, “I was right, that’s a great dress.” 

Josie can’t help but laugh and roll her eyes as Lizzie beams at her. She thinks this might be the most relaxed and at ease she’s ever seen her sister. 

They both lean back against the wall and watch the other three act like idiots in the kitchen, champagne being passed between them and even some cooking getting done between all the jokes and dancing. 

“You talk to mom this morning at all?” Josie asks, nudging her sister. 

Lizzie nods, her eyes never leaving the chaos in the kitchen, “Of course, had to wade through an awkward conversation with Stefan too.” 

The thing is, Stefan and Lizzie have always had a harder time connecting. Stefan is a bookworm, soft spoken, and prefers silent movies. Lizzie hasn’t read a novel since high school and her favorite movie is Mean Girls. But sweet Stefan always tries with Lizzie, it’s endearing even if it's a doomed conversation from the start. 

“Yeah I talked to them both for a bit,” Josie accepts the champagne that Penelope walks over to her but Penelope doesn’t linger. She just shoots Josie a wink and returns to the party in the kitchen. “They seem good.” 

“Mmm.”

Lizzie just hums and Josie glances at her only to catch Lizzie smiling fondly at Hope in the kitchen. She likes this look on Lizzie, all love sick and soft smiles. 

“You seem good too.” Josie bumps her hip against Lizzie’s. 

Lizzie scoffs, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well you were freaking out like a few days ago…”

“You’re right,” Lizzie sighs and turns to meet Josie’s gaze, “It’s like my anxiety has been cranked up to eleven for days and then this morning Hope walked into my apartment. She was rambling about coffee or donuts or something,” Lizzie smiles fondly and has this far away look on her face, “She laughed at her own stupid joke and it’s like everything just fell away. I could breathe and I felt better than I had in days.” 

Josie grabs Lizzie’s hand and squeezes, “You must really feel something for her, huh?” 

Lizzie gives her head a dramatic shake, “Nah, not at all.” Josie laughs and they both continue to just watch the mess in the kitchen, the air now full of flour and spices, “I love her, Jo.” 

“I know.”

They fall back into a comfortable silence, just watching the others. Josie takes the time to just stare at Penelope, while the other woman is distracted. Penelope’s black button down is now coated in flour and more of her hair has fallen out of place, curls now framing her face. It’s impossible to not find the entire image ridiculously endearing.

And almost like Penelope can sense Josie watching her, she turns and locks eyes with Josie. She positively beams at Josie, unguarded with no bravado and no overly confident smirk, just a look of genuine joy. It makes Josie’s chest ache. Penelope’s attention is torn away from Josie when Hope grabs her arm and Penelope returns to the nonsense in the kitchen, leaving Josie to wonder what exactly was swimming behind those green eyes. 

“Listen I know you’re all zen and calm right now, which I love,” Josie finishes off her champagne, “but what if those three idiots fuck up our dinner?” 

Lizzie chuckles and levels a confident stare at her, “All the important food is either cooking or already done, Did you really think I’d let them touch anything essential?” 

Their laughter draws the attention of the other three and soon all of them gather together in the living room, the smells of various foods floating around the apartment. Hope and Lizzie are tangled together on the couch while MG and Penelope stretch out on the floor. Josie perches herself on the ottoman and they’re all laughing about old high school memories. 

They’ve moved on from the nice and easy topics and now they are discussing a topic that Josie finds equal parts terrifying and intriguing. 

“No for real, Jo,” MG exclaims,”at one point or another basically everyone has had a crush on a Salztman twin.”

“This just can’t be true,” Josie points at Lizzie, “back me up here, Liz.”

Josie realizes she is going to get no support here because Lizzie has an immensely pleased look on her face. The idea that everyone from their youth crushing on her has Lizzie riding high. 

“It’s not really that far fetched, Jos.” 

This earns an exaggerated scoff from Penelope, “Could you at least try to rein in your narcissism?” 

“I had a crush on LIzzie when we were seniors and Jo, I was mad into you at like 15,” MG rushes the words out, as if he knows him speaking kept Lizzie from verbally attacking Penelope, “I just never did anything about either time because Lizzie was always dating someone and you were with Peez.” Josie can feel Penelope staring at her, she avoids her gaze, “I was terrified Peez would kill me if I even looked at you.” 

Hope laughs, “That’s fair, I mean Penelope was awfully bitchy in high school.” 

“Rude,” but Penelope is smiling this lazy drunken grin that scares no one. 

“Ok someone else has to fess up now,” MG almost whines, “when did y’all crush on the twins?” 

Josie thinks this sounds like a terrible idea, “Yeah, let’s not do this.” 

“Jo, don’t be a party pooper,” Lizzie scolds, “come on ladies, let’s hear it.” 

Hope and Penelope exchange a look with Penelope motioning at Hope, indicating that she should go first. It makes Hope throw her head back and laugh, it’s a wonderful sound. Josie kind of hates how much she likes it. 

“Coward,” Hope teases and then takes a deep breath, “I probably realized I felt something for Lizzie the day she forced Josie to perform a fake wedding for her and I. What were we like 8?”

“Six.” Josie croaks out, not hiding the scowl on her face. 

Everyone else is oblivious as Hope continues, “Yeah like six, that sounds right. Lizzie held my hands and told me she loved me and we were to be together forever,” she laughs again, so softly, “I guess from that day forward I was hooked.” 

Josie can feel a pair of deep green eyes boring into the side of her face. She’s never in her life worked so hard not to acknowledge someone.

“Aw, babe,” Lizzie presses a sickly sweet kiss to Hope’s cheek before zeroing in on Penelope, “your turn.” 

And now Josie can’t help but direct her gaze at Penelope. For a moment nothing happens, Penelope sits there in contemplative silence, a slight frown on her face as she stares down at her own hands. 

“Ok,” Penelope drawls, “I can say with great pride I never had a crush on Lizzie, sorry Princess.” This gets Lizzie to practically snarl at Penelope and Penelope looks delighted, “I guess the first time I like really noticed Josie was middle school,” suddenly Josie can’t breathe, “it was lunch and Lizzie had spilled something on her pants. It looked like she’d peed on herself and of course kids are cruel so everyone starts making fun of her,” now it’s Penelope who is avoiding locking stares, instead choosing to make eye contact with MG, “and Josie just stands up and dumps her own drink all over herself. Josie’s pants must’ve been soaked and everyone stops making fun of Lizzie. They directed all of it at Josie and she just took it. I was impressed, standing up for someone like that kinda blew me away.” 

“I remember that,” Josie doesn’t mean to sound all breathy but she’s having trouble finding her voice. But it’s incredible that Penelope remembers all of that because it’s only a hazy memory to Josie.

“Wait,” Lizzie holds up a hand, “that was maybe 7th grade and you didn’t make a move until you were forced to at a party when we were all in high school?”

“I didn’t know if Josie was even into girls until she jumped me in that closet.”

Josie’s mouth falls open and all previous affection for Penelope evaporates, “JUMPED YOU?” 

“Yeah,” Penelope directs an arrogant smirk in Josie’s direction, “I mean the door had barely closed before you were on me.” 

The more distraught Josie gets, the more smug Penelope looks and everyone is laughing. While the other three laugh and comment on who actually did the jumping in the closet, Penelope shoots Josie a wink and a much gentler smile. 

“While I think it’s hilarious to watch you torture Josie,” Lizzie’s voice breaks through Josie and Penelope’s staring contest, “I just don’t believe you. Jo isn’t an instigator of anything.” 

Josie frowns, hard not to get at least a little offended. 

“Say what you want, Salztman,” Penelope’s eyes have a dangerous shine, “as the only person in the room who has actually had sex with Josie,” heat erupts on Josie’s face, “I can most definitely say she doesn’t mind taking charge.” 

And if Penelope looked pleased before it’s nothing compared to the shit eating grin on her face right now. Lizzie groans and buries her head in Hope’s shoulder while Josie does everything she can to tampen the blush coating her face and neck. 

“Please save us Josie,” Lizzie mumbles from Hope’s shoulder, “when did you first notice Satan over there?” 

“Yeah I don’t want to share.” 

“Ah come on Jo,” MG encourages, “the rest of us went, for sure your turn.” 

“Not like it could be any more embarrassing than what Penelope has already shared.” Lizzie scoffs and shoots another glare at Penelope for good measure. 

All Penelope does is laugh and raise her glass in Lizzie’s direction. 

“Ugh, fine,” Josie whines and suddenly all bickering stops, three pairs of eyes locked on her, “it’s just Penelope’s answer was all sweet and mine is, like not.” No one says anything, MG just nods in encouragement, “when did you start cheerleading?” 

Surprise flashes across Penelope’s face, “Um, I want to say 8th grade.”

“Listen she looked hot and I swear you rolled that skirt up extra,” Josie covers her face with both hands as her friends burst into laughter. 

“I’m sorry, you only noticed me once I put on a short skirt?” 

Josie gives Penelope a sheepish smile, “I can’t even be sorry, you looked good in that uniform.” 

“Amen.”

“Preach.” 

MG and Hope chime in, which gets Penelope to laugh and cheers glasses with them. Laughter continues to bounce off the walls and echo in Josie’s ears. 

The next couple of hours pass peacefully and without further embarrassment to Josie. Many more bottles of alcohol are consumed and the dinner is practically inhaled. Josie manages to only sneak glances at Penelope instead of outwardly staring at her but the more she drinks the harder it gets. 

Lizzie does most of the cleaning up but doesn’t seem to mind as Hope keeps her company, distracting her with kisses and small, affectionate gestures. MG and Penelope start talking shop so Josie slips off to the bathroom, mostly to avoid watching her sister’s apparent and saccharine bliss. 

When she walks back into the living room music is playing while MG and Lizzie dance like fools. Hope is sitting cross legged on the couch laughing and dancing in place. Josie smiles fondly and catches Hope’s eye.

 _Penelope?_ Josie mouths the question and Hope smiles knowingly before pointing to the window where the fire escape is. 

Josie snags one of Lizzie’s coats of the hooks by the front door and has to practically pry MG and Lizzie off her as she slides past to get to the window. 

When she opens the window to crawl through Josie is immediately hit with the smell of weed and expensive perfume, the music becomes muffled as she shuts the window behind her and straightens back up. 

The fire escape landing is small, barely big enough to fit them both but Josie leans back against the railing to put a little extra distance between them as Penelope turns to face her, an easy smile on her face. 

“Well hi there,” Penelope blows a cloud of smoke out of the corner of her mouth before extending the joint towards Josie. 

“Oh,” Josie shakes her head, “no thanks I don’t really like it.” 

Surprise dances across Penelope’s features, “You used to smoke with me in high school all the time.” 

“Yeah uh I was definitely just trying to impress you,” Josie admits, her breath forming a cloud between them. Josie can’t tell if the color on Penelope’s cheeks is from the cold or the booze but either way, it suits her. 

Penelope releases another melodic laugh, “Man, we were so stupid back then.” 

“Yeah.” 

They fall into a heavy silence, standing barely a foot apart with the clouds of their breaths between them. Even in the dimmer lighting, Penelope’s eyes are impossibly green and shining with something unreadable in them. Those green eyes dart over Josie’s face and for a second Josie thinks Penelope might step closer, might lean into her. And strangely Josie kind of hopes she will. 

“Uh,” Penelope’s eyes drop as she flicks her joint into the snow and Josie snaps out of her trance, “so your sister and Hope are disgustingly cute together.” 

Josie does her best to keep her face neutral, “Yeah, yup they are.” She has never sounded less convincing but she prays Penelope just drops it. 

Green eyes narrow in scrutiny, “Yeah know, if you want to maintain this whole ‘I don’t love Hope’ thing then maybe you shouldn’t look so wounded every time she interacts with your sister.” 

“I’m not in love with Hope.” 

“You’re getting weirdly defensive again,” Penelope arches an eyebrow, “it does nothing to help your case.” 

Josie takes a deep breath, dragging her gaze upwards to the sky. Only a few stars are shining bright enough to break through the Chicago smog. Then she looks to make sure the window is still closed before she speaks again. 

“I am not in love with Hope Mikaelson,” she grits her teeth and sighs, “I have always been second best, to just about everyone. Even my parents favored Lizzie, I mean she’s practically my mom’s clone,” Penelope remains silent, just watching Josie patiently, “everyone has always chased after Lizzie and I don’t blame them. But the Hope thing stings because me and Hope? We are a lot alike and we’ve always had this like intense bond so when she chose Lizzie,” Josie swallows down the hurt and has to force herself to push through it, past her drunken haziness, “I felt small, insignificant. I still do.” 

She finishes with a whisper and hangs her head, all the doubts and hurt bubbling up to the surface. Josie can usually contain it all, sometimes even ignore it but Penelope’s prodding and the influence of the alcohol opens the gates. 

A chilled hand pulls Josie’s chin up, her eyes latching onto Penelope’s, “You still don’t see it, do you?” 

Penelope is only inches away from her now, her finger still under Josie’s chin and her index finger softly stroking along Josie’s jaw. 

“What?” Josie manages to breathe out. 

Penelope drops her hand and takes a slight step back, putting that safe distance between them again, “Lizzie is,” she shakes her head as if trying to find the right words, “minuscule,” she chuckles softly, almost pleased with herself, “and you, you Josie, take up galaxies.” 

Josie’s eyes go big and her mouth falls open slightly, suddenly she can’t speak or think or do anything. Penelope just stands there with soft eyes and an almost sad smile

_Galaxies._

“Penelope…”

She goes to take a step forward but they both jump when the window flies open and an oblivious MG grabs Penelope’s arm. 

“C’mon get in here!” 

Penelope’s entire demeanor switches and that soft, gentle feeling is replaced with a loud laugh and mischievous grin. Josie can only watch as Penelope climbs back through the window and joins the others dancing in the living room. 

_Galaxies._

Josie laughs softly to herself, even in her mostly drunk state she knows she’ll hang onto this moment, this feeling of being enough. And it's all thanks to Penelope Park, she thinks her entire world might just have turned upside down. 

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the top of the grand staircase, in the very center of the hotel lobby stands two figures. Hope is dressed in a pale, blue gown with silver accents and jewelry, a wide smile on her face as she greets guests. The woman next to her makes Josie’s head explode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter. Made my heart happy. 
> 
> The song in this chapter is Bad Habit by Ben Platt

It’s a bitterly cold Wednesday and Josie is in between the halves of her double shift at the hospital. She’s stretched out across the couch in the nurse’s lounge and eating her second granola bar, all the while doing her best to sound serious. 

“Yeah I just don’t see myself going to this thing.” 

“C’mon Josie, why are you fighting this so hard?”

“Because I don’t want to go.”

“Josie.”

“ _ Penelope.” _

And maybe Penelope is right, maybe Josie knows that she will give in but she can at least pretend to have some control. 

“Really?” Penelope scoffs, “You are being a child.” 

“You didn’t give me enough warning about this,” she did, “and I have nothing to wear,” she does, “and maybe I have work.” She doesn’t. 

She hears Penelope release a deep, long sigh, “You are being such a pain in the ass, you know that right?” And Josie almost takes offense except she can hear the slight lilt in Penelope’s voice, giving away the fact that she must be smiling. 

“Maybe I can work something out,” Josie takes another bite, speaking through the food, “but you owe me one.” 

Josie’s recent favorite sound bounces through the phone as Penelope laughs lightly, “Ooook, a couple things: you are getting to go to a very fancy charity party for _ free _ and drink as much as you want, again, for  _ free. _ Second, what the hell are you eating?” 

“Granola.”

“Christ Jos, it sounds like you’re eating glass,” Penelope practically giggles and Josie almost drops the phone. “Oh, another reason you need to be there, I will look smoking hot, guaranteed.”

Josie is eternally grateful that no one else is in the lounge to see the deep red blush that now coats her cheeks and neck.

She does her best to keep her voice neutral, “And what makes you think I’ll care about how you look?” 

More delightful laughter, “Oh please, you gave yourself away last week, admitting that you only noticed me because I’m hot.” Penelope sounds endlessly pleased with herself and Josie thinks the embarrassment of her admission is worth it, getting to hear Penelope like this. 

“How long should I expect you to laud that over me?” 

“Hmm,” Penelope pauses, “Probably as long as I can get away with it.” 

Josie can’t stop smiling, “You’re the worst. Aren’t you like crazy busy? How do you have all this time to torture me on the phone?” 

“Trying to get rid of me, Saltzman?” Penelope teases and Josie can practically see that confidant smirk. 

And Josie smiles softly, “I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

“Ok I do actually gotta run,” Penelope sounds irritated, Josie doesn’t mind that the idea of ending their conversation makes her that way, “but please tell me you’ll come, do it for the kids Josie.” 

“Yes Penelope, I will attend the fundraiser, for the kids,” she can’t help but chuckle, “even though you’re giving me a free ticket.” 

“Don’t think too hard about it,” Penelope says, “I’ll see ya in two days.” 

The line goes dead and for the rest of the day Josie does everything to convince herself she doesn’t miss Penelope’s laugh. 

\---------------

Josie has been ready to go for the last 45 minutes. That’s 45 minutes of watching Lizzie bustle around her apartment and frantically dig through various drawers, all the while mumbling incoherently to herself.

“Liz,” Josie groans from the couch, “we’re going to be late, can we pleeeeease go?” 

Lizzie scowls at Josie and without saying anything, disappears back into her bedroom. Josie releases another deep sigh, her anxiety about this whole evening threatening to spill over. She’s been able to contain it for two whole days and now, with the whole thing mere minutes away, everything feels bigger. 

Josie can’t quite decide if she’s nervous or excited about the night. There will be expensive booze and fancy food and rich socialites and dozens of social agency department heads and the mayor and at least three state senators. But none of those things weigh as heavily on her mind as a single girl. 

“Found them!” Lizzie emerges from her room with a triumphant grin and a pair of silver earrings clutched in her right hand, “This look would not have worked without them.” 

It takes every ounce of will to not roll her eyes at Lizzie because her twin stands there in a simple, yet extremely elegant, black gown that would look amazing with or without those specific earrings. 

“You freaking out for 45 minutes was about a pair of earrings?” 

“Only kinda,” Lizzie gathers up her coat and clutch before turning back to Josie, “I was supposed to arrive with Hope, this isn’t what I was expecting.” 

And Josie knows Lizzie  _ hates _ surprises and when expectations aren’t followed. She feels a swell of sympathy because Lizzie’s hands seem to tremble as she puts in those essential earrings. 

“I know,” Josie stands and buttons her coat, “you wanted Hope but you’re going to have to settle for me and the town car that Hope sent for us,” she smiles softly at Lizzie, “the town car that has been idling for 45 minutes.” 

This pulls a genuine laugh from Lizzie and she slaps at Josie’s shoulder before linking their arms, tugging them downstairs and out the door. They slide into the black car by the curb in front of their building and find a bottle of champagne in ice. A small note is attached.

_ Can’t wait to dance the night away with you xoxo H _

It’s grossly sweet and Josie can’t resist, “Hope really shouldn’t leave notes for me like that laying around where you can find them, sorry you had to find out this way Lizzie. I’m so embarrassed.” 

Josie finally sees all the tension leave Lizzie’s body as she laughs, her head thrown back and tears in her eyes. It doesn’t take long for Josie to join in on the laughter and they are still wiping the tears from their eyes when the car rolls to a halt outside of a very fancy hotel downtown. 

“Holy shit,” Josie mutters, her gaze scanning the scene outside their car. Photographers buzz around, flashes of light bursting from their hands and a legitimate red carpet guides guests into the old, stone building. “Did you know it was going to be like this, Liz?” 

“Uh, no, no I did not,” Lizzie practically whispers but her eyes shine with excitement. Josie feels a little sick to her stomach and almost like she can sense what Josie is feeling, Lizzie places a comforting hand on her shoulder, “don’t worry, no one will even notice us, we’ll slip right past all this noise.” 

All Josie can do is nod but it turns out Lizzie is right, they manage to climb out of the car and skirt into the hotel without much trouble. Josie’s in awe as she wanders further into the hotel, her eyes sweeping over statues and chandeliers and then she sees them. 

At the top of the grand staircase, in the very center of the hotel lobby stands two figures. Hope is dressed in a pale, blue gown with silver accents and jewelry, a wide smile on her face as she greets guests. The woman next to her makes Josie’s head explode. 

Penelope Park is wearing a tuxedo or maybe a very well tailored suit but either way Josie can’t form coherent thoughts right now. 

“Wow,” Lizzie breathes out, “she looks amazing.”

“Yeah she does,” Josie mutters, her eyes never leaving Penelope. She’s wearing a tie, a freaking tie. Josie tries to slow her heartbeat. 

“Wait, who are you talking about?” Lizzie’s head whips around to level a confused stare at her. 

“Uh, who are  _ you _ talking about?” 

“Hope, of course.” 

“Oh, yeah same,” Josie rushes, “Hope looks great.” 

Lizzie gives Josie a weird look and before she can even say anything, Josie pulls Lizzie up the stairs towards the other women. There is absolutely no need for Lizzie to hear about or know about how incredible Josie thinks Penelope looks. She’s not even ready to fully admit that to herself.

They are about halfway up the staircase when Penelope notices them, almost like she has been able to feel Josie staring because the grin she aims at Josie is so bright with that ever present bit of smug mixed in. It almost knocks Josie off her feet, the sheer look of Penelope’s delight at her presence. 

Josie and Lizzie are forced to wait behind a small group of people as they greet Hope and Penelope. The group in front of them absolutely fawns all over Hope and Penelope, it’s almost comical because to Josie they are just her friends, people she’s known almost all her life but here, people seem to worship the two women.

“Lizzie!” Hope apparently just realizes they are standing there and pushes through the other people, flinging herself into Lizzie’s arms, “I’ve missed you, babe.” 

Josie side steps away, barely avoiding getting kicked as Lizzie practically slow motion style twirls Hope around. It’s super cute and gross.

“Hi,” Penelope says, reaching out and tapping her finger against the back of Josie’s right hand, “you look,” those green eyes sweep down Josie, dancing dangerously, “pretty amazing.” 

Josie manages to only blush a little, her head down before straightening up, “Thank you, you look nice.” 

Penelope’s eyes go wide and she scoffs with disbelief, “Nice?” 

“Yeah,” Josie’s entire face hurts from holding back her grin, “nice.” 

It’s an obvious lie, Penelope looks incredible and up close Josie can see there is some sort of silver threading in Penelope’s braid, making her hair dance under the lights. It’s taking everything she can muster not to reach out and run her fingers through that hair, untangle that braid.

“You know I can kick you out of this thing, right?” Penelope quirks a challenging eyebrow, her hands on her hips. 

Josie chuckles, “But then you’d never get the chance to convince me how hot you look tonight.” 

“Mmm,” Penelope smiles, “fair enough,” Lizzie and Hope finally join them, causing Penelope’s gaze to focus on them instead of Josie, “you two can check your coats off to the left, we’ll find you guys later. We have to continue playing the dutiful hostesses.” 

Lizzie takes off to check her coat but Josie hangs back for a moment.

“Hope?” 

Hope turns to Josie, “Yeah?” 

“Hey there isn’t any more crazy photographers or anything inside, is there?” 

“There are like three journalists covering the fundraising,” Hope gives her a sympathetic smile, “the paps should all stay outside, the only reason we even allow them out there is because as awful as they are, they do at least get word of our foundation out.” 

Josie just nods before giving Hope a quick hug and setting off to find her sister. She stops briefly to check her coat before heading into the main ballroom and damn. 

There are fountains and several bars and a massive dance floor and well dressed people everywhere. It’s easily the fanciest event she’s ever been to. The people on the dance floor are even dancing like this is some sort of formal ball. 

“I love all of this,” Lizzie appears next to her and squeals, “it’s like Miss Mystic Falls on steroids.” 

“God, it seems a little much,” Josie groans as Lizzie leads them to their assigned table. 

Before they even fully sit down, champagne is placed in front of them and Lizzie just slides her glass over to Josie. 

“Hope told me that they have to make these events like this,” Lizzie’s eyes are still darting around the room in wonder, “or rich people just won’t care. She said they want to feel appreciated for giving money. It’s so stupid.” 

Josie nods in agreement, all the pomp and circumstance just to get people to help the public school systems in Chicago, is indeed stupid. Before she spirals into a mess of disdain for the whole evening a voice breaks Josie out of her trance. 

“Yo, Jo!” MG practically bounds up to her, a grin so wide his eyes almost disappear, “I’m so glad you guys came!” 

He’s classically dressed tonight, a sharp black suit and the only pop of color comes from his checkered bow tie. 

She can’t help but smile back at him, “Well, Penelope practically begged me to.”

“I did what now?” 

When Josie turns around Penelope is standing there with her head tilted and a questioning eyebrow arched, the hint of a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. The sight of her makes Josie a little weak in the knees. 

“I was just telling our friends,” she gestures at MG, Lizzie, and now Hope has glided up to their table, “how two days ago you were  _ begging _ me to come here tonight.” 

Penelope takes a bold step forward, “Well getting to see you in that dress,” she winks at Josie, “made the begging worth it.” 

The blush that covers Josie’s face is so furious it almost hurts, “Why do I even try with you?” She mutters and just hopes that no one gives her a hard time for the redness. 

“Beats me,” Penelope laughs softly, her eyes shining for a few moments before her face falls. “Eh shit.” 

There’s a scowl where that brilliant smile should be and Josie has no idea what has caused Penelope to harden. 

“You ok?” 

Penelope gives her a tight smile, it doesn’t reach her eyes, “Excuse me.” 

And then she’s gone as sudden as she had arrived and Josie is left with the lingering smell of Penelope’s expensive perfume. Josie tries to track her movement as Penelope weaves through the groups of people but she loses sight of her. 

“Jos,” Lizzie grabs her elbow and pulls her into the circle of conversation, “back me up here, Hope is an idiotic drunk, right?” 

“This isn’t fair, Josie like, always sides with you,” Hope rolls her eyes and drains the glass of champagne in her hand, that haze already apparent in her stare.

Josie accepts the drink MG hands her before responding, “Well idiotic might not be the word I would use,” she takes a sip of champagne, “but Hope, you sometimes make messy choices when you’re drunk.” 

Lizzie and MG laugh as Hope pouts, muttering under her breath about Saltzman twin bullshit even as it’s obvious she’s fighting a smile; it makes Josie’s chest ache with affection. She sits down at the table and just watches the other three talk. 

They tell stories and trade jokes and Josie relishes the laughter and joy. And when Hope kisses the back of Lizzie’s hand, love shining in her eyes, Josie doesn’t feel the ugly bite of jealousy. 

Finally. 

As MG tells some elaborate story from some vacation he took years ago, two people catch Josie’s eye. At the top of the staircase across the dance floor is a woman in a pristine suit and a tall, gangly man in a crumpled shirt having an intense discussion. 

“...and that’s why I don-” 

“MG.” Josie cuts off what is probably the climax of his story, she almost feels bad, “who is that tall hipster baby Penelope is talking to?” 

“Oh.” 

Josie drags her gaze away and back to her friends right in front of her, “Why are you all looking at me like that?” 

Lizzie steps closer and places a hand on Josie’s shoulder, “Jo, that’s Penelope’s ex husband, wait, current husband? I’m confused.”

“That’s Christopher,” Hope takes over, “he was originally one of the creators of this event, several years ago. He teaches at one of the poorer inner city public schools. She started this fundraiser for him.” 

“Oh wow,” Josie is always startled by new information about Penelope. Sometimes it almost feels like Penelope and her life did not even exist when Josie wasn’t actively involved in it. She can admit that’s a monster of her own making, forcing herself to ignore all things Penelope Park for so long.

“He isn’t a bad guy you know,” MG says quietly, pulling Josie a few steps away from the other two, “I think him and Peez have just hurt each other so deeply that now, everything he’s doing comes from that place of pain.” 

Josie continues to watch as Penelope and Christopher point fingers and shoot each other glares, “Why are you telling me this?” 

“You kinda look like you want to kill him, no lie,” MG answers, “and I get that. I hate that he hurt her but she’s done damage too.” 

Now other people are starting to notice the interaction at the top of the stairs and it becomes obvious to Josie that Penelope is completely unaware of the stares everyone around her. 

“Shit, this isn’t going well,” Josie takes a deep breath, “MG, excuse me. I have to help her.” 

He gives her a soft smile and a nod before he goes over to Lizzie and Hope. Josie takes off for Penelope, squeezing her way past the rich and powerful of Chicago. 

It takes her longer than she wanted to reach the top of the stairs, several waiters trying to give her champagne and more than one person trying to pull her onto the dance floor but she finally ends up standing right behind Penelope. She immediately notices how rigid Penelope is, how her entire person seems to be vibrating with what appears to be rage. 

“I swear to God Christo-” 

“Hey!” Josie cuts her off and places herself right next to Penelope, so close that she is almost standing on top of her. 

Penelope practically jumps out of her skin at the interruption and Christopher startles, leaning away from the two women with surprise all over his face. It’s very clear that while entrenched in their argument they forgot other people were around. 

“Uh, hi?” His voice is deeper than a man of his appearance should be, he’s tall and skinny with messy brown hair. 

Josie grabs Penelope’s wrist and gives it a gentle squeeze, “So sorry to interrupt, I’m Josie by the way.” She sticks her hand out and Christopher gives her a cautious stare from behind thick glasses but does extend his own hand. 

“Christopher James.” 

Honestly, ew. She’s never trusted a man with two first names. 

“Nice to meet you,” she keeps her voice cheery and a smile plastered on her face, “Penelope, will you please come dance with me? I can’t get MG or Hope to humor me.” 

Penelope pauses for several moments, a confused scowl on her face before she sighs, “Yeah, yeah sure.” She turns back to Christopher, fury flashing in her eyes again, “I mean what I said earlier, believe that.” 

Josie allows herself to be pulled by Penelope down the stairs and onto the dance floor. Penelope’s right hand settles on her back and the left grabs Josie’s, not a word has been said and the scowl is still firmly placed on Penelope’s face. 

They sway for a while, unsteady and with little to no rhythm, Penelope has a deep crease between her eyebrows. Josie wants to smooth it out with her thumb, soothe Penelope’s obvious pain. 

Instead she breaks the silence, “I really am sorry I interrupted but you guys were starting to make a scene, didn’t want you to end up as another tabloid headline.” 

Penelope finally looks at her, like really looks at her, “No, yeah thank you. You saved me a lot of trouble.” 

“Mhmm.” Josie hums as they continue to dance, Penelope back to frowning with a faraway look on her face and Josie having trouble matching her unsteady steps. 

She  _ hates _ seeing Penelope like this. 

“Hey, Penelope,” those green eyes refocus, “you’re like a classically trained dancer right? Because I’m not going to lie,” Josie stops them and gestures to all around them, “this is not going great for you.” She teases and is delighted when a playful gleam returns to Penelope’s stare. 

Penelope chuckles and then suddenly Josie is pulled almost flush against Penelope. The hand that had been on her back returns but slides lower, to the small of Josie’s back and Penelope’s shoulders frame up. Before she can even process what is happening, Josie is being spun and directed around the dance floor. 

“Better?” Penelope murmurs, their faces unnaturally close and the strength in Penelope’s hold on her is surprising. 

Josie can only nod as it suddenly dawns on her that this is the closest they’ve physically been to each other in ten years; hips and palms pressed together. And then she gets a little lost in everything: in the music and the dancing and Penelope Park. 

The music ends, too soon in Josie’s opinion, and they step back from each other. There is something in Penelope’s gaze, something Josie can’t make out.

“Thanks for the dance, Jos,” Penelope gives a little bow and a wink. She straightens back up, a warm smile back on her face and offers her arm out to Josie.

Josie links their arms and Penelope steers them back to where their friends are standing. Hope has abandoned all pretense of not being a chaotic drunk mess and is sitting on Lizzie’s lap while dancing to the music, her eyes closed. MG and Lizzie are steeped in debate. 

“Hands down it’s Poison Ivy and you are absolutely wrong thinking it could be anybody else.” MG argues, an entire bottle of champagne in his hand. 

“MG,” Lizzie shakes her head, “my poor simple boy, it’s Wonder Woman and everyone knows it.” 

“Wow, what is going on here?” Penelope unlinks their arms and points at the scene before them. 

Lizzie rolls her eyes, “MG is trying to convince me that the hottest female superhero character is Poison Ivy,” her words are dripping in disdain, “every sane person knows it’s Wonder Woman.” 

“Oh I don’t care about that at all,” Penelope dismisses, “I mean that.” She points at Hope, still dancing, “she’s supposed to help me with like ten other things tonight and I cannot work with whatever is going on here.” 

“She might have been over served.” Lizzie admits but doesn’t look sorry. In fact she looks absolutely smitten. 

Penelope raises an eyebrow, “Ya think?” 

“Peez, no worries,” MG shoots up from his chair, “I’ll help you.” 

A childish groan escapes Penelope before she just grabs MG’s hand and they disappear. Josie settles herself where MG had previously been sitting and when she turns to talk to Lizzie she’s met with a smug smile.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“You are totally going to sleep with her.”

Josie’s eyes go wide and all she can manage is to squeak out, “Lizzie!” 

Laughter bubbles out of Lizzie, “You so are, I saw you two dancing.” 

“It was just dancing,” Josie mutters, “we just fell back into how we used to dance when we were teens, that’s all.” 

“Hey do whatever you need,” Lizzie smiles and pulls Hope furtherer into her lap, “sleep with her or don’t, it’s not like you love her or anything.” 

At that moment Hope regains some awareness of her surroundings and draws Lizzie’s attention, leaving Josie to her thoughts. 

Right. Not like she loves her. 

Josie’s eyes immediately find Penelope in the crowd and something inside her reaches out. 

\---------

A few more hours pass without incident. Penelope gives a nice speech, Hope manages to dance with Lizzie a few times, and Josie spends the evening sipping on champagne. It’s been a wonderful time but when the banquet hall starts to empty, she’s grateful. 

Lizzie left with Hope, making sure Josie was ok to get herself home. Josie sees them both into a cab but stays at the hotel, unable to bring herself to leave without saying good night to Penelope. 

Josie stops by the coat check before her search, making sure to tip and thank the bored teenager. She slips the coat on and takes off. There’s no sign of Penelope in the mostly empty banquet hall, bathroom, or lobby but when she takes off for the rear exit, giving up on her pursuit, she pauses at a cracked doorway. 

The sound of a piano and the faint smell of weed reaching her. She smiles. 

Josie gently pushes the door open and closes it behind her, making sure to not startle the woman at the piano. Josie hesitates just inside the door, taking a few moments to listen, well listen and watch. 

Penelope is barefoot, that tie undone and hanging loosely from her neck and her braid has pieces falling out. Her hands dance across the keys and her eyes are closed as she mutters a song under her breath. 

That thing inside Josie stirs again, breaking Josie’s daze.

“Riddle me this,” Josie’s voice doesn’t even startle Penelope, she just keeps playing as if she knew Josie was there the whole time, “you’re smart, kind of funny, stupidly rich, moderately musically inclined,  _ and _ you get to look like that. How is that fair?”

Penelope’s head rolls to the side so she can grin drunkenly at Josie, “Maybe I sold my soul for this.” Her eyes won’t open all the way and for the first time all night, Penelope actually looks relaxed.

“Hmm,” Josie settles onto the bench next to her, “maybe.” 

Fingers continue to dance across piano keys and Penelope’s whole body sways gently along, occasionally bumping Josie. The contact is comforting. 

“Play something for me?” Josie practically pleads, her body leaning toward Penelope without her mind’s permission. 

“As you wish.” 

Penelope takes a deep breath and dramatically brings both hands off the keys. 

“Don’t you dare play chopsticks.” Josie narrows her eyes and Penelope’s head falls back as she laughs. 

“How’d you know?” Penelope asks, bumping her shoulder against Josie’s. 

“I’m not a fool, Park.” 

Penelope just nods before hunching over slightly and playing, her voice echoing off the walls. 

You always said that I'd come back to you again

'Cause everybody needs a friend, it's true

Someone to quiet the voices in my head

Make 'em sing to me instead, it's you

Hate to say that I love you

Josie’s eyes remain locked on Penelope’s face, practically holding her breath as Penelope plays.

Hate to say that I need you

Hate to say that I want you

But I do

Penelope’s eyes stay mostly closed as she plays and sings, sings in this low gravelly voice. It sends shivers down Josie’s spine.

Bad habit, I know

But I'm needin' you right now

Can you help me out?

Can I lean on you?

Been one of those days

Sun don't wanna come out

Can you help me out?

Can I lean on you?

Penelope’s voice dies off, she keeps playing but mumbles lyrics under her breath for several moments before she suddenly stops, even her hands coming off the keys. The sound of her own heart beat is hammering in Josie’s ears as Penelope stares at her, those green eyes darting all over her face, and time seems to slow as Penelope leans in. 

“Oh, Penelope,” Josie puts a hand on her shoulder and softly pushes her back, “I’m not going to kiss you right now.” 

Penelope blinks several times and shakes her head as if trying to get rid of the shock, “Wait, what?” 

The look of confusion on Penelope’s face is almost childlike, “Yeah I’m not kissing you like this.” 

“But, uh,” Penelope frowns adorably, “you’re making the face.” 

“What face?”

Penelope points at Josie, moving her finger around erratically, “The ‘Josie wants a kiss’ face.” 

“Oh,” Josie chuckles and slides closer to Penelope, resting a hand on her knee, “I didn’t realize I had this face.” 

“Oh yeah,” Penelope has such a serious look on her face and Josie just finds it endearing, “And I know that face well. You made that face at me for four years, so no way I wouldn’t recognize it now.” 

Josie bites her bottom lip to keep from grinning, “Yeah even if I made this supposed face-”

“It’s real.” 

Josie laughs, “Ok, even if I made this very real face,” Penelope nods solemnly, “I’m still not kissing you right now.” 

“Why not?” Penelope whines, scowling in disappointment.

“Because,” Josie brings her hands up and cups Penelope’s face on both sides, rubbing her thumbs along the corner of Penelope’s eyes, “you smell like a whiskey dispensary.” 

Penelope seems to soften under Josie’s touch and her scoff is half hearted, “I haven’t even had that much to drink.” 

“There’s a basically empty bottle right there,” Josie points to the whiskey on the piano and slips both her hands into her coat pockets. 

“Oh that is just…” 

And Penelope’s voice, still arguing about how she hasn’t really had any alcohol, fades away when Josie’s hand closes around a small velvet box in her coat pocket. In almost slow motion she pulls the box out and opens it. 

A giant diamond engagement ring shines back at her. 

“...so you see I definitely haven’t had too much to dri-” 

“Penelope, stop talking.” Josie has to cut off her rambling because she just needs a minute to put everything together. 

“Holy shit, what the…” Penelope grabs the ring, holding it up for inspection, “where did, are you…?” 

“No,” Josie whispers, still staring at the ring, “they gave me the wrong coat. I didn’t even notice but this,” and Josie wonders how she didn’t notice, the coat even smells like her sister, “this is LIzzie’s coat.” 

“Oooohhhhhh.” 

Josie snatches the ring back and returns it to it’s box, locking eyes with Penelope, “You know what this means?” Penelope nods repeatedly, “Lizzie is going to propose to-”

“Me.”

“Hope.”

They speak at the same time and Josie almost falls off the bench in surprise.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

And with all the seriousness of the world Penelope answers, “Your sister is going to propose to me. I mean I always kind of thought I would marry a Saltzman but I never imagined it would be Lizzie.”

“Penelope, wait…”

“Although, I suppose it might make sense,” Penelope is muttering drunkenly to herself now, “maybe her bitchiness to me was always hiding that she is in love with me. We would be quite the couple.” She now has this distant look, as if actually imagining being married to Lizzie. 

“Ok, stop it,” Josie flicks Penelope in the temple, “Earth to Penelope. Are you actually telling me that if my sister proposed to you, you’d say yes? And why in the Hell do you think she’d even propose to you?” Josie hates that she feels a flair of jealousy just from thinking Penelope is even entertaining the idea. 

“I mean she brought the ring here, to my event,” Penelope shrugs and rubs at where Josie flicked her, “it’s obviously for me. But don’t you worry, I only have eyes for you.” 

Penelope attempts to wink but it ends up being more of a blink and that ugly jealousy immediately disappears, leaving Josie embarrassed it was even there to begin with. 

“You’re a mess,” Josie chuckles affectionately, “let me help you get home?” 

Josie pulls Penelope to her feet and doesn’t let go of her hand as she leads them into the lobby. Penelope’s town car is summoned, a second one following to take Josie home. Snow falls lazily as Josie stuffs a drunk Penelope into her ride. 

The door shuts but the window immediately rolls down and Penelope’s entire body hangs out of it. 

“Hey Saltzman,” she croons, “last chance for that kiss.” 

Penelope has the most charming drunken grin on her face that Josie can’t possibly resist, so she gives in a little to that thing inside her that is always reaching out for Penelope. 

Josie bends down and presses a soft kiss to Penelope’s forehead, “Good night, _Pen_.” 

When she pulls away, Penelope’s eyes are closed and she’s smiling softly. Josie bangs twice on the back of the car and it pulls away, Penelope waving stupidly out the window. 

Later when Josie takes off her, well Lizzie's, coat, she finds some of those silver threads from Penelope’s braid stuck to it. 

And she’s reaching out again. 

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie thinks it’s impossibly cruel that she’s being woken up this early the day after such an intense, whirlwind of a party. She manages to get herself all the way out of her bed and shuffles to the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole before wrenching the door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha ha. Sorry y'all but this was a tough chapter to write PLUS I was distracted by TLOU2. Then I need as many hours as I put into the game to simply emotionally recover from the game. 
> 
> Also this is a shorter chapter compared to the last two, my apologies.

She’s struggling to open her eyes, her whole body feeling heavy and slow with sleep. The knocking at the door pulled her out of dreams but she’s sluggish, rolling over and groaning when the clock shows it’s barely 7am. 

Josie thinks it’s impossibly cruel that she’s being woken up this early the day after such an intense, whirlwind of a party. She manages to get herself all the way out of her bed and shuffles to the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole before wrenching the door open. 

“What?” Josie snaps and then immediately softens at the sight of a very hungover Penelope Park. There are dark circles under Penelope’s green eyes and her normally messy yet chic hair is just messy in a knot on the top of her head. 

“Hi,” Penelope gives a sheepish smile, “I am sorry for waking you up, I’m headed to the airport and off to San Diego.”

Josie crosses her arms across her chest and frowns, “Ok, so why does this involve you waking me up before 7am?” She shivers slightly, the hallway’s cool air drifting into her warm apartment. She regrets not pulling a sweatshirt or sweatpants over her tank top and shorts. 

“Oh,” Penelope kind of shakes her head, “right, well I wanted to thank you for making sure I got a ride home last night.” She ducks her head and scuffs her stupidly white sneaker against the hallway laminate, a squeak filling the space. 

Penelope looks weirdly lost or confused, that confidence nowhere to be found and it kind of freaks Josie out. 

“Penelope, that could’ve been a text,” she sighs, exhaustion still clinging to her mind, “you really didn’t need to wake me up for this. So…” Josie kind of gestures back down the hallway, hoping Penelope will leave so she can collapse back into her bed.

“Yeah, yeah I know that,” Penelope shifts anxiously in front of Josie, “that’s uh not the only reason I came here this morning.” 

“Oh my god, Penelope either spit it out or let me go back to bed.” 

“Can I kiss you now?” Penelope asks, almost desperately and suddenly Josie is wide awake. The way Penelope is staring at her, all soft and pleading, more vulnerable than Josie has probably ever seen her, makes Josie unsteady on her feet. 

“Yeah,” Josie whispers, “kiss me.”

Penelope smiles, everything about her posture and presence changing, she’s confident again and uses both hands on either side of Josie’s face to pull them together. But she pauses, her hands holding Josie’s face mere inches away from her own. 

“Jojo,” she murmurs softly, affectionately and those green eyes are wandering all over Josie’s face. Josie’s hands come to rest on Penelope’s hips and she does the rest of the work, finally bringing them all the way together. 

The initial kiss is soft and unsure and reminiscent of that kiss at fourteen. It’s sweet and innocent, Penelope almost on her tiptoes leaning up and into Josie.

They break apart and Josie can’t help but smile, their noses brushing gently and Penelope’s fingers stroking the back of her neck. But something changes in Penelope’s eyes and she’s suddenly flush against Josie with her hands in Josie’s hair, turning them so Josie is pressed against the open door frame, and kissing her like she needs this, them, more than air. 

Penelope finally pulls back, smiling stupidly and looking wonderfully dazed. Josie’s hands remain on Penelope’s hips, clutching desperately to her coat and she thinks she must look equally frazzled. 

So, they stand there for several moments with easy smiles and heaving chests, neither wanting to move or ruin the moment. Having Penelope back in her arms makes Josie’s chest ache with so many different emotions: joy, nostalgia, anxiety. 

“I should go,” Penelope’s hands drop to Josie’s shoulders, “as much as I don’t want to, I need to go...my flight.” 

Josie relaxes her grip, sliding both arms all the way around Penelope’s waist, “Are you sure? You could stay.”

She relishes in the way Penelope’s jaw clenches and her breathing gets shallower, “Josie.”

“Fine,” Josie kisses Penelope’s forehead and untangles herself, putting some space between them, “I’m glad you came by.” 

They’re standing in the chilly hallway, stupid smiles and flushed faces, avoiding saying goodbye, avoiding saying anything real. 

“Me too,” Penelope reaches back out, tangling her fingers with Josie’s, “I’ll call ya soon, ok?” 

Josie nods and watches Penelope start to walk away. Josie smiles softly and is looking down at her hands, her mind absolutely buzzing, when she hears muttering and then heavy footsteps. Josie looks up just in time to steady herself as Penelope flings herself back at Josie forcefully kisses her, softening the longer they kiss. 

She breaks away from Josie with a contented sigh, to rest her forehead against Josie’s, “Last one for the road.” She winks and then Penelope Park disappears as quickly and suddenly as she appeared this morning. 

Josie, struck dumb and afraid that moving will make everything that just happened a dream, stands half in the hallway and half in her apartment certain that now she’ll never be able to fall back asleep. 

Just as she’s contemplating chasing after Penelope, which she knows is full on crazy, she hears her phone buzzing in her apartment. 

Her phone is on the table beside her bed and a quick glance at the clock tells her it’s still early, a little past 7:30am and yet her mom is calling. 

And Josie just answers it, a simple phone call. 

“Hey mom, what’s up?” 

\-----------------

The past few days have been a blur. How many days has she actually even been in Mystic Falls? Two? Three? Josie can’t really remember. She can’t really remember going and waking Lizzie up. She can’t really remember the flight to Virginia or getting to her mom’s house. 

But she does remember some things. She remembers the sound of Lizzie’s sobs echoing off the apartment walls and she remembers the ringing in her own ears and that clear, biting Virginia air outside of the airport. 

Hope has spent the past two, three, whatever days taking care of almost everything. She got Josie and Lizzie on a plane, she called their jobs, and she’s kept Lizzie from drowning in all of it. 

Her mom keeps trying to talk, ask about feelings and Josie just can’t. Because if she gives even an inch, the guilt and despair will bury her. So, she treads on, stoic and strong. 

She’s been awake for an hour, laying on her side and staring at the black dress hanging off the chair across her room. Lizzie, curled up next to her in bed, whines in her sleep before muttering nonsense and then settling back down. They’ve spent every night in the same bed, trying to find comfort, relief from the blinding pain. 

It’s been explained to her dozens of times, exactly what happened. She keeps making people tell her over and over, how Alaric Saltzman died. And it’s exactly what she was always afraid of, drunk driving and black ice and a telephone pole. It took almost a whole day before anyone even came up on the accident. She tries not to think about that part, about her dad frozen and alone in the woods. 

It’s only just starting to get light outside her bedroom window, reds and oranges just peeking over the horizon. Josie swings her legs over the side of the bed, leaving the warmth of her shared bed makes her shiver slightly as she bends over and rubs her hands down her face.

“Jos,” Lizzie practically whimpers, “I don’t wanna do today, I don’t think I can.”

Lizzie sounds like a child, her voice trembling in the darkened room and if Josie could carry all the pain for her sister, she would. 

“I know, Bub,” Josie reaches blindly behind her for LIzzie’s hand, feeling a little better when their fingers lock, “I’ll be with you the whole time, Hope too.” 

They stay like that for several minutes, fingers locked and breathing matched, trying their best to convince themselves they can get through this day. Lizzie cries softly for a while as Josie just sits there, stony faced and exhausted. 

The soft knock at the door gets them to finally move, “Girls? Are you up,” Caroline’s head appears and Josie’s never seen her mother look so ragged, “We should all start getting ready, there’s coffee downstairs.” 

Josie dresses in silence, moving about the room without even making eye contact while Lizzie does the same. Dresses are pulled on, earrings and necklaces and rings slipped into place, and faces are painted to disguise dark circles and bloodshot eyes. 

They stand at the door, hands linked and Josie takes a deep breath, “It’s time, ok?”

“Ok,” Lizzie says, barely a breath of a word and tears falling down her face.

Josie leads, pulling LIzzie downstairs and towards the soft murmur of voices in the kitchen. Her mom is bustling around filling coffee mugs and giving reassuring squeezes to everyone around her. Hope seems to be waiting anxiously and rushes forward to Lizzie as soon as she can. Stefan just hovers near Caroline, every now and then touching her elbow or the small of her back, tiny gestures of comfort. Elena Gilbert and Stefan’s brother Damon, who Josie doesn’t know overly well, are tucked into a corner clutching tight to their mugs. 

“Hey,” a hand on the small of her back, that voice in her ear. 

Josie whips around, unable to believe it, needing her eyes to confirm what her brain cannot process. 

“Penelope,” Josie’s voice cracks and Penelope does her a favor, pulling them into the dim hallway and away from everyone else, “you’re here?” Hot tears fall down Josie’s face, the realization that now, she’s not doing this alone slamming into her. 

Penelope reaches up, wipes away the streaks with her sleeve, “Of course.” She gives Josie a quick smile and pulls her into a hug, Josie clings to her. 

“But you were in San Diego,” Josie’s voice is muffled against Penelope’s coat, her head still nestled into Penelope. 

“I was,” Penelope gently pushes Josie back wiping at more tears, “and now I’m here for you.”    
  


Josie can’t find words, can’t tell Penelope everything her presence means in this moment, so she just nods. Penelope seems to understand, giving Josie a sad smile before wiping away more tear streaks and gently fixing Josie’s hair, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. 

They join the others in the kitchen, steaming mugs of coffee handed to them. Josie almost drowns in all the sympathetic touches and murmured condolences. While she floats through the kitchen, talking with the others in low voices, Penelope hovers nearby and always right within Josie’s eyeline. 

It’s a small comfort. 

It’s not long before coats are piled on, scarves are wrapped, and gloves slipped on. Josie’s hands shake slightly as she tries to button her coat. 

“Let me,” Penelope reaches out, placing both her hands on Josie’s. The touch of Penelope’s hands gets Josie to drop her arms and her shoulders slump, everything inside her already exhausted. Penelope methodically buttons Josie’s coat, her brow furrowed in concentration as Josie just stands there. “Ok, all set.” Penelope finishes the last button and tugs at Josie’s coat to straighten it out. 

“Thank you,” Josie’s voice only wavers slightly and Penelope gives a tight smile before pressing a quick kiss to Josie’s forehead. 

Everyone heads out and the rest of the day somehow goes impossibly slow and horribly fast all at once. The day is bitterly cold, the wind biting but Josie welcomes the chill; anything to distract from the emotional pain. 

There are prayers and talks of God and mentions of heaven. This all seems so unnecessary to Josie, never hearing her dad ever talk about religion or belief of anything bigger than the life he was living. She can’t help but wonder if in his final moments he sent up a desperate prayer; the thought causes something inside her to splinter. 

People she’s never met and people she’s known her whole life stare at her with sad eyes, almost as if waiting for her to have a breakdown. She can’t seem to cry. LIzzie doesn’t have that problem and hasn’t stopped crying since they left Caroline’s house. Even as everyone gathers around and says the final prayer at the gravesite, Josie doesn’t shed a tear. 

As they lower the casket into the frozen ground, the snow begins to fall. One by one people begin to trickle away and soon it’s just the twins standing above the hole, their hands intertwined. 

“This doesn’t feel real,” Lizzie whispers, her voice cracking, “I-I can’t keep looking at this.” She rushes away, her blonde hair streaking out behind her and Josie’s almost follows. But Josie can’t seem to move, her entire body frozen in place. 

Josie can feel the cemetery workers standing nearby, can feel them waiting for her to leave but she can’t. The idea of her dad in the frozen ground makes her sick. The snow falls harder and the wind whips through the trees, almost whistling and still Josie stands at her father’s grave. 

And right now all she can think about is how she avoided her father for months. Alaric texted and called and all Josie did was ignore him, her own anger too important. 

She can’t tell if she’s shivering from the cold or shaking from the sheer emotional pain but she jumps when a hand falls softly on her shoulder. 

“Fuck.” 

“Sorry,” Hope cringes, “I didn’t mean to scare you but you can’t stay out here all day.”

Josie shakes her head, grinding her teeth to keep the sobs from trying to burst free, “I don’t think I can move.” 

Hope links their arms and rests her head on Josie’s shoulder, both her hands finding Josie’s hands, “Josie, you can. Ya just have to take one step,” Hope puts her hands on Josie’s shoulders and twists her so they are face to face, “and then you take another one and another one.” 

“It’s too much.” 

Hope gives her a sad smile, “I’ll do it with you, I promise.” 

So they trudge through the snow and sadness and guilt to the idling black town car just outside the cemetery gates. Josie slides into the back of the car and into Lizzie’s waiting embrace, 

The car ride back to Caroline’s house is silent, the only relief from the silence comes from Stefan as he clears his throat before they pull into the driveway. Stefan and Hope scuttle out of the car, almost rushing to get into the house. 

Caroline is sitting between her daughters and the three of them cling to the silence, no one wanting to be the first to shatter it. 

Josie surprises herself by speaking first, “Guess we need to go in there and pretend we’re ok.” 

They sit quietly for several minutes, watching people filter into the house and the dread in Josie’s chest becomes so heavy she thinks she’ll never be able to stand. But then Lizzie sighs, grabs Josie’s hand, and pulls her into the house. 

The next few hours pass in a weird blur which is only made worse because Josie never seems to find the bottom of her whiskey glass. Even through her haze, she can sense Penelope, those green eyes following her and sending a shockwave through her system. Sometimes Penelope even ventures close enough to place a comforting hand on Josie. 

So Josie spends hours wandering around her childhood home listening to people tell stories about her father or hugging people she only vaguely remembers or letting people think they are comforting her. 

By the time the sun sets Josie can’t handle another glance loaded with pity and retreats to the bedroom from her past. She’s brought an entire bottle of whiskey with her and she only trips once as she settles down on her bed, the bottle between her legs. 

Her mind wanders to things she wishes she didn’t remember, painful nostalgia washing over her: Alaric teaching her to ride a bike, Alaric dancing with her and Lizzie, Alaric laughing at teenage Penelope’s stupid jokes. 

“Hey.” 

Josie doesn’t even realize her eyes are closed until she hears the voice, forcing her to crash back to reality. Penelope hovers in the doorway, seemingly afraid to fully walk into the room. Penelope just watches Josie, her hands playing with the edges of her black dress. 

“Penelope,” she pats at the space on the bed next to her, “sit. Whiskey?” 

“Oh god no,” Penelope settles next to her and shakes her head, “whiskey is not my friend.” 

Josie takes another pull from the bottle, “Well I need it today.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure you do,” Penelope murmurs, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. “Are you ok?”

In Josie’s drunken state she can’t stop the scoff that escapes her, “Of course I’m not ok.” 

“Right,” Penelope ducks her head and rubs at the back of her neck, “stupid question.” 

Josie scoots closer, leaning her entire body against Penelope, “I’m mad and sad and…” all she can manage is to release a deep sigh, unable to vocalize exactly what she is feeling. 

“It’s ok to be all of those things,” Penelope levels an intense gaze at her, “you know that right?” 

“Don’t tell me anything,” Josie snaps, surprising herself with the venom but she relishes in the anger, a reprieve from the guilt. 

“I’m not…” Penelope throws up her hands in defense. 

“Don’t sit here and tell me anything.” Josie fumbles to her feet and the anger feels good, feels better than the sadness and the guilt so she rushes towards it, clings to it, “you of all people don’t get to tell me how to feel.”

“Whoa,” Penelope gets to her feet slowly, cautiously, “I’m just trying to be here, for you.” 

“Well fuck you,” the words rush out of Josie, each syllable shoving the guilt further away and pulling the rage closer. 

Penelope sits back down on the bed, those big green eyes full of confusion and her brow furrowed. 

“Jos,” Penelope practically whispers, “I just want to help, please.” 

The sad plea obliterates her anger and the guilt starts creeping back in. Josie takes a long pull from the whiskey bottle she’s still clutching. The burn down her throat is a welcome feeling. 

She sets down the whiskey, practically slamming the bottle down, on her dresser and goes to kneel in front of Penelope. 

“You want to help?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

Josie rushes forward, pressing her lips to Penelope’s, her hands coming to rest on Penelope’s thighs. And for a few moments Penelope kisses her back, her soft touch on Josie’s neck. The guilt starts to retreat once again and Josie runs her hands further up before Penelope breaks the kiss and grabs her wrists. 

“Josie, no,” Penelope gently pulls Josie’s hands away, “not like this, not right now.” 

“You said you wanted to help,” Josie leans back in, brushing her lips over Penelope’s, “this will help. I need to feel something else, please.”

The grip on her wrists loosens slightly and Penelope’s shoulders slump but Josie doesn’t waste her opportunity, going back in for another kiss but Penelope turns her head, Josie’s lips landing on the corner of her mouth. 

“No, Josie please,” Penelope slides out from where she’s sitting and goes to stand by the closed bedroom door, “you’re drunk and grieving and we buried your dad like three hours ago. I’m not doing this right now.” 

Josie pulls herself up onto the bed and a wave of comforting anger washes over her, her fists clenched at her side. 

“Unbelievable,” Josie seethes, the fury practically spilling out of every part of her, “you chase me, for months but when I say ‘yes’ you act all honorable?” 

The stiffening of Penelope’s spine, the clench of her jaw only fuels Josie’s rage. It feels magnificent. 

“Josie, that’s not fair,” Penelope crosses her arms, “and you know it and that’s not what’s happening.”

Josie lets out a hollow laugh, “Oh sure it is, c’mon Park isn’t it what you do?” 

“Careful,” Penelope warns, “there are things you can’t unsay.” 

“All you do is use people and now,” Josie is practically blind with anger, the woman in front of her an easy target and it feels so good, “when I need to use you, you can’t be bothered. Come on, Penelope, use me and throw me away just like you do with everyone else.” 

Penelope stands there staring at Josie with watery eyes, “You’re drunk and being cruel.” 

“I’m trying to do you a favor,” venom black and deadly flows through her words, “once you fuck me you can stop putting all this work into chasing me. It’ll be just like high school, once I started sleeping with you and you got what you wanted, you disappeared. Why delay the inevitable?”

“Jojo-”

“Don’t, don’t you act like you actually care!” She doesn’t mean to yell, honestly she doesn’t mean to finally lose control but it’s all over now, “Fuck you Penelope Park, fuck your money and fuck your flirting and fuck your charm and wit and fuck you.” 

And the tears she had managed to hold at bay for so long come crashing through, big and hot and furious. Penelope takes a step towards her, a hand reaching out in comfort. 

Josie slaps it away. 

“Don’t touch me,” Josie shouts, “get out. For real just leave me the fuck alone.” 

“Josie you shouldn’t be al-” 

“I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT YOU PIECE OF SHI-”

The door bangs open and a seething Hope Mikaelson stands in the doorway, her eyes darting between the other two women. 

“That. Is. Enough.” Hope speaks quietly but with enough force that it causes Josie to collapse in tears back on the bed. Josie cries into her hands, unable to look at Hope or Penelope so she only hears Hope say, “Penelope, you should leave, ok?” 

Hope’s voice is gentle but clear.

“Yeah,” Penelope’s words are raw, her voice cracking, “she shouldn’t be alone.” 

Josie hears the click of the door shutting and feels a body sit down next to her, a hand rubbing comforting circles on her back. 

“Well,” Hope speaks first, “that was uh interesting.” 

Hope loops an arm around Josie’s shoulders and pulls her closer, letting the weight of Josie fall against her. It takes Josie a few moments to stop sniffling so furiously and she wipes at the warm streaks the tears left on her face. 

“I didn’t mean to yell.” Josie mumbles, every part of her absolutely exhausted. 

“Mhmm,” Hope gives Josie’s shoulders a squeeze, “you did and everyone heard pretty much every drunk word.” 

Josie lets out a sigh, “I don’t even care.”

“Ok,” Hope turns so they are face to face, tucking stray hair behind Josie’s ear, “what do you need right now?” 

“Sleep.” 

So Hope tucks Josie into bed like a child, helping her remove her heels and she presses a sweet kiss to her forehead before slipping out of the room. 

Josie’s unconscious before the door even closes all the way. 

\-----

She wakes up with a groan to a darkened room and a raging headache. Her mouth is impossibly dry, a bitter aftertaste of cheap whiskey coating her teeth. 

Her eyes focus slowly, as she blinks several times trying to wake all the way up and she finds Lizzie in bed with her. She’s laying on her side, just watching Josie with bloodshot, exhausted eyes. 

“Jos,” Lizzie whispers, “hey.” 

She rubs at her eyes, “Lizzie, what time is it?” 

“I honestly have no idea,” Lizzie does her best to shrug while laying down, “it’s like dark out so, there’s that.”

“God Liz,” Josie sighs, “Everything hurts.” 

Lizzie reaches over and places a hand on Josie’s cheek, “Yeah, the whiskey probably didn’t help.” 

And Josie feels terrible, guilty, ashamed, remorseful for so many different reasons but the one crushing her the strongest is the worry shining back at her from Lizzie’s face. Sweet, complicated, passionate Lizzie who, just like Josie, watched their father lose himself in the very bottle that Josie was mainlining today. 

“I’m not dad, Liz,” Josie laces her fingers with Lizzie’s, “I’m not gonna be like him.”

“Promise?” 

And Josie’s damaged heart all but shatters at the crack in Lizzie’s voice, the tears threatening to fall in her eyes. 

“I promise,” Josie even manages to give her sister a half smile, “now, can I ask you about something?” 

“Hmm?” 

Josie rolls over and digs around in her purse that had been carelessly tossed by the bed. She digs blindly, until her fingers brush against the familiar velvet. She shifts back to face Lizzie and places the small, black box between them. 

“Wanna tell me about this?” Josie asks, pushing the box closer to Lizzie. 

Lizzie’s eyes go wide in the dimly lit room, “Where did you get that?” She’s whispering, her eyes never leaving the ring box. 

“The night of that charity event, the coat check gave me the wrong one,” Josie swallows down the blinding pain that comes with memories of that night: being in Penelope’s arms, Penelope singing to her, Penelope’s goofy grin, “you’re going to propose to Hope?”

Josie watches as Lizzie opens the box and just stares at the diamond, her breathing shallow and her face hardened by a frown. Lizzie runs her finger over the ring, her eyes shining in the dark. 

“I was,” Lizzie finally speaks and it practically startles Josie. 

“And now you’re not?”

Lizzie closes the box, her eyes returning to Josie’s, “Dad’s gone.” 

Josie rolls over onto her back, her eyes fixated on the ceiling fan above her bed and Lizzie’s words echoing around the room. 

_ Dad’s gone… _

_ Dad’s gone… _

_ Dad’s gone... _


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope just laughs, slinging her arms around both Saltzman twins, “It’s not every day my best girls turn 29, so I’ma do it right.” She proceeds to plant a quick kiss on Josie’s cheek and then turns, delivering a much longer and much sloppier kiss on the corner of Lizzie’s mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I couldn't be bothered to find their canon birthday and it needed to be this for the timeline. 
> 
> As always my apologies for not updating quite as quick as I'd like. Hopefully I can get the next one out sooner, the angst of the Alaric thing was hard to put down. 
> 
> Thank you for the read, reviews, kudos. I love you all and I hope you find some good out there.

Christmas and New Year’s pass without incident. Josie, Lizzie, and Hope remain in Mystic Falls buried in grief and snow. While Lizzie and Hope spend most of their time with Hope’s family, Josie rarely leaves her childhood home. She trudges through hours of packing up all the artifacts of her youth. 

Pictures and mementos and posters and trinkets get packed into boxes or thrown into trash bags. Josie tries not to think too hard about the fact that she can’t seem to part with a single photo of Penelope.

Caroline helps some, mostly just bringing Josie food and drink. Sometimes she’ll sit while Josie packs and listens to Josie tell various stories. So Caroline goes through what many parents do with their adult children, hearing about all their mischief years later when consequences are no longer a threat. It’s in these moments, moments dripping with joyous nostalgia, that Josie finds relief from the grief and the guilt. While her mother laughs at her childhood misdeeds, Josie can almost forget her dad is dead. She can almost forget she drove Penelope away. 

But standing in the small, crowded Virginian airport the day after New Year’s, the guilt and pain and anger and relentless sadness slam into her in waves. It’s been over two weeks since they buried her dad, since she was horrible to Penelope. It’s been one week since she received a text from Penelope. 

**Penelope Park** _ : Hope you start to feel better _

Josie has spent a week composing a response, deleting everything she ever types out. Sometimes she types out long, rambling apologies full of promises and pleas for forgiveness. Sometimes she types out venom and vile blaming Penelope for unfair things, putting every ounce of pain into her words. Mostly she just stares at the message, with no idea how to respond. 

She wrestles with those words. How could she possibly start to feel better? She doesn’t think she knows how to exist in a world without her father, without the chance to fix every broken piece of their relationship. Perhaps that’s the loss Josie feels most profoundly, she’ll never get to reconcile with Alaric, with the years of disappointment and hurt. 

“Hey, you coming?” Hope asks, hand outstretched and a soft smile on her face. 

Josie slips her phone back into her pocket, the text unanswered yet again, “Uh, yeah, yeah I’m ready.” 

They make it back to Chicago, back to biting winds whipping across flat land and cold that makes teeth ache. All the sparkling white snow that had been coated across the city when she left is now ruined by oil and grime, dark slush where that snow had been. The city looms gloomy across the horizon as their Uber winds slowly towards Josie and Lizzie’s apartment building.

Luggage is hauled up stairs and into the hallway between their homes, Hope letting herself into Lizzie’s apartment with a small smile directed at Josie. The door clicks behind her and Lizzie stays in the hallway, her hand still clutching Josie’s. 

“I guess it’s back to reality,” Lizzie’s voice is soft, just above a whisper yet her words seem to crash into Josie. 

Josie lets out a sigh, “Yeah, yeah I suppose it is.” She hasn’t let go of Lizzie, not yet. The thought of being alone is almost impossible to face. 

Lizzie gives Josie a sad smile, “We’ll be ok,” then looks down at the ground, “we’ll be ok.” She gives Josie a lingering hug, arms wrapped tightly around each other, and then slips away following Hope into the apartment. 

After being gone so long, Josie’s apartment is cold and dark and smells of stale air. The small plant by her front door is shriveled and tinged brown. It’s a good representation of how she feels these days. 

Josie shuffles into her bedroom, flicks the heat on, and flops down onto her bed, a deep sigh rushing out of her. Josie groans as she stretches out, her muscles cramped from traveling finally loosening up. There’s been an ache in her neck since the moment she stepped off the airplane in Mystic Falls, it still lingers. 

As she stretches, she kicks off her shoes before curling up into a ball on her side. She unlocks her phone, the burst of light from the screen makes her squint. 

**Penelope Park** _ : Hope you start to feel better _

After two weeks of staring at this message, Josie has no clue...no clue if Penelope even wants to hear from her, no clue what to say, no clue if she deserves Penelope’s acceptance of Josie’s regret.

She falls into a restless sleep, the cursor on her empty text message still blinking.

\---------

“C’mon don’t be a party pooper, we need this.” 

They’ve been arguing for two days, two days of Lizzie insisting that a birthday party is the exact remedy they need. 

Josie thinks it’s stupid, pointless. What is there to even celebrate? The fact that their dad has been dead for over a month? 

She switches her phone to the other ear, wanders over to the hospital window and watches the cold rain dance across the glass. 

“Need seems like a strong word here.”

Lizzie scoffs, “Oh you need this even more than I do. When was the last time you had a day off? Or even went home?” 

And honestly, Josie can’t remember the last time she really went home. Lately the idea of being alone with her thoughts in her cold apartment makes her feel a little sick. Bustling, in the hospital has kept her from completely breaking down, losing the thread of sanity she has left. 

“Work’s been busy,” Josie mumbles, “why are you even pushing this so hard?”

It’s quiet for several moments, the only sound Lizzie’s soft breaths. Josie almost thinks Lizzie is crying and it tears at her. 

“We, just,” Lizzie sniffles and her voice cracks slightly, “need something good...both of us.”

And suddenly Josie feels terrible for fighting Lizzie about this. She can go smile, have a drink, and pretend she’s doing ok. Josie can do all that for Lizzie. 

“Ok, ok,” Josie leans her forehead against the cool glass window, “something small and casual right?”

“Yes, of course,” she can hear Lizzie’s smile through the phone, it makes her feel better, “when’s your next day off?”

Josie can’t help but start to smile, knowing her answer will thrill Lizzie, “As fate would have it, Friday.”

“Ah,” Lizzie practically shrieks, “our actual birthday. Ok, let’s plan to meet at The Honking Goose around seven and invite whoever you want from work. I’ll take care of everything else.” 

They hang up after a few more minutes of talking. Most of the rest of their conversation is Josie listening while Lizzie rattles on about their birthday. The phone call leaves Josie with a warmth in her chest she hasn’t felt in weeks. 

It almost feels a little like hope. 

\--------

It’s Friday January 22nd just past 7am. Josie and Lizzie are officially 29 years old. Just like every day since she found out her dad died, Josie is awake before the sunlight streams through her window. She can’t recall the last time she slept past 5am. 

She spends the day drinking coffee and replying to well wishes. Her phone doesn’t seem to stop buzzing with texts and phone calls and notifications. She’s surprised when Hope’s family, almost in their entirety, video calls her to wish her Happy Birthday and just chat for almost an hour. She makes a mental note to mention it to Hope. The image of nine or so Mikaelson’s squished into the frame and all talking at once keeps Josie smiling for hours. 

Josie has a long conversation with her mother and Stefan. They gush over Josie being 29, Caroline can’t stop telling Josie she loves her, Stefan’s low melodic voice tells her that he’s proud of her. The entire ordeal pulls happy tears out of Josie, it’s a nice reprieve from the tears of despair that she’s been waging war with for so long. 

When she steps out of her apartment at 6:42pm, she’s instantly greeted by Hope and Lizzie, seemingly laying in wait in the hallway. Those annoying party buzzers being blown in her face before they both practically tackle Josie. 

“Happy birthday, Jos!” 

Josie chuckles as she hugs them both back, trying to pour every ounce of love she has into the action. 

“Happy birthday, Bub.” Josie whispers into Lizzie’s hair, the coconut shampoo a calming comfort. 

They all break apart and Josie can’t help but give them a watery smile, grateful Lizzie convinced her to do this. Lizzie’s eyes are shining with mischief and she’s got a smug look all over her face. Josie just chalks it up to her birthday high. 

“To the Honking Goose!” Hope shouts and raises a flask, Josie has no idea where this flask came from, before downing several swallows. “Drink?” She holds out the flask to Josie, her eyes dancing and her grin contagious. 

Josie lets out a sigh before snatching the flask out of Hope’s hand, “Cheers,” she takes a long pull and almost spits the entire mouthful out, “The fuck, tequila? Jesus, Hope are you trying to kill us?” 

Hope just laughs, slinging her arms around both Saltzman twins, “It’s not every day my best girls turn 29, so I’ma do it right.” She proceeds to plant a quick kiss on Josie’s cheek and then turns, delivering a much longer and much sloppier kiss on the corner of Lizzie’s mouth. 

“Babe,” Lizzie laughs, “let’s get to the bar already.” 

They spend the walk to the bar with arms linked and their laughs ringing through the city air, the taste of tequila on their tongues. It’s the first clear night in weeks, stars struggling to peek through the city smog and the moon fuzzy above them. Josie usually hates when it gets dark this early but tonight she can’t find any reason to complain about it. 

The blast of warmth is a welcome feeling as they stumble into The Honking Goose and the place instantly erupts in cheers. Josie sees coworkers, friends from college, Lizzie’s weird clique of model friends, but Josie’s heart practically jumps out of her chest at the gaze she catches near the back. 

“Oh shit,” she whispers, “Penelope.” 

And Lizzie has already rushed forward to greet the cheers but Hope stays at Josie’s side and must hear Josie’s words.

“Oh,” Hope pulls Josie a few feet to the side, “please don’t be mad, I shared the details of tonight with her.”

Josie loses sight of Penelope amongst the crowd when Hope moves her, “No, not mad just, surprised she even came.”

“Yeah,” Hope cringes, “she might have mentioned that you haven’t reached back out to her.” 

“I need more of that tequila.”

Hope nods before handing Josie the flask, “I just don’t get why you haven’t…”

“Ugh, Hope this must be the cheapest shit,” Josie swallows down the burn and works to regain her composure, “yeah, i don’t know Hope, I just can’t find any words for Penelope but I’m just going to go get this over with.”

Josie bobs and weaves her way back to where she caught sight of Penelope, accepting hugs and well wishes. She does her best not to get irritated each time someone stops her but she just wants to get to…

“Well hi there.” 

Josie’s eyes close at the sound of Penelope’s voice coming from behind her, she relishes in it for a few moments before turning around. 

The room seems to spin as Josie takes in the sight of Penelope finally standing in front of her once more. Penelope isn’t dressed in anything spectacular, just her usual shredded jeans and black leather jacket, those curls pinned back but it’s the best thing Josie thinks she’s ever seen. Those green eyes are peering at her softly from behind thick rimmed glasses and Penelope has a half smile on her face as she waits for Josie’s response. 

“Penelope,” Josie manages to find her voice, “I-I can’t believe you’re here.” 

“Well,” Penelope gives a small laugh and takes a step closer to Josie, “I couldn’t possibly miss your birthday.” The look Penelope is giving her is so kind and that thing in Josie stirs back to life, trying to reach out again.

“Penelope, about back in Mystic Falls,” Josie trails off and just shakes her head, shame washing over her. 

Suddenly Penelope’s hands are holding hers, “Hey, we do not have to do this tonight, ok?” 

Before Josie can respond they are interrupted by LIzzie, Hope, and MG. Penelope drops her hands instantly and takes several steps back, Josie tries not to read too much into the actions. 

“I brought shots!” MG basically yells and is carrying a tray with four shot glasses containing mystery blue liquid. 

Everyone but Lizzie, takes and slams back the drink. Josie is surprised that she doesn’t hate the alcohol and is starting to feel a nice buzz. As they stand in their little group laughing and catching up, Josie notices that Lizzie is busy scanning the crowd. 

“What are you looking for?” Josie asks, the question interrupting MG from some story about a Thai restaurant downtown. 

“Hmm,” Lizzie’s eyes dart back to Josie, “nothing.” But she’s got that smug smile back in place and Josie knows her twin.

“You’re up to something.” 

“Jo, chill,” LIzzie scoffs, “I’m just enjoying our birthday.”

Before Josie can form her rebuttal hands cover her eyes, her vision going dark. 

“Guess who?” A voice practically purrs into her ear, a body pressed almost flush against her back. Josie instinctively places her hands over the ones on her face, ready to try and pull them off but hesitates. 

There is something familiar about these hands. Her whole body almost explodes when she feels it, the scar that runs over the left hand of the mystery behind her, the scar that runs from the index finger down the back of the hand and stops at the wrist. 

She knows this scar. 

Josie whirls around and can’t stop the shriek that escapes her, “Jade! Holy shit!” She throws her arms around the neck of the woman before her and feels two very strong arms wrap around her waist, hoisting her off her feet. 

Jade hugs her back intensely before setting Josie back on the ground, pulling back to deliver a dazzling grin, “Hey Joey baby, happy birthday.” 

“You’re home,” Josie’s arms remained looped around Jade’s neck, “it doesn’t feel real. When did you even get back?” 

Josie hasn’t seen Jade in almost two whole years but she looks the same, mostly. Jade’s dirty blonde hair is curled, resting just above her shoulders, freckled shoulders peeking out from a signature muscle tank top, and dog tags resting around her neck. But there are dark circles under gray eyes and a new scar on her chin, red edges still trying to heal. 

“Yeah, got home a couple days ago,” Jade’s hands run up and down Josie’s back, an easy smile playing on her face, “when I reached out to Lizzie she suggested I come and surprise you.” Jade chuckles and her smile widens, “I couldn’t resist.” 

Josie finally steps out of Jade’s arms and shoves her twin, “I  _ knew  _ you were up to something!” 

“I’m just glad it worked out,” LIzzie sighs with a contented smile on her face, “I was worried I’d spill the beans and ruin it.”

Jade swipes up a beer on the table next to her, taking a long pull before smiling again, “Nice to see you two finally figured your shit out and got together.” She points between Lizzie and Hope. 

“Well, I saw my opportunity and just had to take it,” Hope says as she cozies up into Lizzie’s side. 

“Good for you,” Jade throws an arm back around Josie’s shoulders and Josie doesn’t bother to remove it, “sorry I don’t think I know you two though?”

It’s then that Josie remembers Penelope and MG. When Josie turns her attention back to Penelope she’s met with the sight of a stiff and withdrawn Penelope Park, all clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. 

“Penelope Park,” Penelope’s words are short, sharp, and cold, “that’s MG.” 

MG and Jade shake hands enthusiastically while Penelope continues to scowl, arms crossed. Josie suddenly feels very conscious about how close she is to Jade.

“Oh shit,” Jade lights up, “is that Franky?” She bolts away from them and towards the bar, her excited yell piercing through the steady stream of conversations. 

Josie watches her go with a fond smile, “I cannot believe she’s here. How long have you had this planned?” 

Lizzie shrugs and leans against a tall table, “Oh gosh, like two or maybe three weeks. She emailed me from some desert about coming home and it all just kinda worked out.” 

“So like who is she?” MG asks, “Like she seems cool as Hell but I would love some context.”

“Oh she’s Josie’s old fuck buddy.” Lizzie says it so casually that it takes Josie several moments to actually process what she says. 

“ _ Lizzie _ ,” Josie hisses and flicks her sister’s arm, “can you not.” Josie can practically hear Penelope’s teeth grinding next to her and she’s a little concerned that if Penelope clenches any harder, she’ll shatter her teeth. 

“What?” Lizzie rolls her eyes, “Is that not the best way to describe it?”

“I think what Lizzie is trying to say is,” Hope moves, putting herself between Lizzie and Josie, “we all met Jade when we were like 20 and she was like 22. Wasn’t she like a TA in one of your classes, Jo?” 

“I’m sorry,” MG’s eyes are wide and he looks infinitely excited, “you’re telling me you were banging your TA?” 

The hot flush on her face is no longer just from tequila and Josie is doing everything she can to not look directly at Penelope. 

“We weren’t... _ doing _ anything when she was my TA,” Josie mumbles, “Lizzie actually friended her first and then reintroduced me to her.” 

“Nice!” MG holds up a hand for a high five and Josie just shakes her head, Hope reaching up and clapping hands with him instead. 

“ _ Anyway _ ,” Josie huffs, “she’s a combat medic. She’s been doing tours of the Middle East since she finished school. Jade’s only home every few years.”

MG nods enthusiastically before turning to Lizzie, “Tell me more about Josie hooking up with TAs in college.”

While the other three chatter and swap stories about college, Josie siddles up cautiously to Penelope. “Hey,” Josie nudges Penelope with her elbow, “you’re awfully quiet.” 

“Just taking it all in,” Penelope gives her a tight smile. 

And really Josie should just leave it alone, she knows that. She should walk away, leave Penelope to stew or think or pout or  _ whatever _ but she’s just drunk enough that she’s feeling a little too bold.

“Oh come on,” Josie needles, “something is wrong.”

“Josie,” Penelope’s eyes narrow, “it’s fine.”

“Penelope,” and like a fool, Josie nudges her again, “out with it.”

“Stop,” Penelope practically growls.

It only spurs Josie on, “Tell me.”

“I just think it’s funny you’ve been punishing me for my ex husband,” Penelope whirls around to face her and is right in Josie’s face, words flying out at a rapid pace, “when this whole time you had some super hot fuck buddy you’ve been boning for years.” 

“Wow,” Josie isn’t even mad, she only has herself to blame for pestering Penelope, “tell me how you really feel.” 

Penelope shakes her head and steps back, “I’m sorry, this isn’t the time for this. Excuse me.” She grabs MG and they head to the back patio, a joint already being brought to her lips. 

“So,” she feels an arm sling over her and a chin come to rest on her shoulder, “that’s the famous Penelope, huh? Also did I just hear her call me super hot?” 

Josie turns to face a smirking Jade, snatching the drink out of Jade’s hand and taking a long drink, “Maybe, it is. And maybe she did” 

“Hmm,” Jade watches her with careful eyes, almost studying Josie, “I mean I get it now. Back all those years ago I couldn’t understand why someone as hot as you was so hung up on some girl from high school but now,” Jade steals her drink back, “I see the appeal.” 

They watch Penelope come back in, laughing with MG and a newly unfocused stare. Josie thinks she looks kind of perfect. And just like always Penelope must feel Josie staring, green eyes landing on her and Penelope gives her a small smile.

“Well, she didn’t look quite like that in high school,” Josie sighs drunkenly, “but she was the prettiest thing I had ever seen,” she looks back at Jade and winks, “maybe until I saw you.” 

Jade laughs, full throated and beautiful, “C’mon, don’t you lie,” she’s grinning recklessly and Josie’s chest is about to burst with the joy of having Jade back, “I know I’m hot but I do not look like that, shit.” 

“Let’s be real no one looks like that,” Josie chuckles, her gaze wanders back to Penelope. Penelope who is now laughing with Lizzie, Josie must be hallucinating. 

“Hey,” Jade’s tone is suddenly serious and when Josie looks at her, Jade’s expression is soft and sad, “I heard about your Pops…”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” She doesn’t mean to snap at Jade but she cannot do this right now. 

Jade reaches out, threading their fingers together, “Absolutely. I just want you to know I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I’m here for you, Joey.” 

The tears are threatening to fall and Josie can’t seem to find the right words, well any words, to tell Jade how comforting it is to know she’s here. So, Josie swallows down the flood of emotion and wraps her arms back around Jade. 

“Thank you,” Josie mumbles into blonde curls, “thank you.”

“Hey,” Jade pulls back and places a quick kiss to Josie’s forehead, “I’m always gonna want to take care of ya, kid. I’ll go get us a couple drinks.” 

MG catches her eye and he practically skips over to where Josie is now sitting, a ridiculous grin on his face, “Ok, listen you know I will always be rooting for you and Peez to work things out but,” he nods after Jade, “why in the world are you guys not together?”

It’s not the first time someone has asked this question. Over the years people have practically hounded Josie about Jade, about whatever is going on between them. And it always happens after someone meets Jade or sees them interact for the first time. Caroline basically began planning a wedding after visiting the twins in Chicago and Jade happened to be hanging around. Jade had fawned all over Caroline, the confidence and charm almost over the top but Caroline fell hook, line, and sinker. 

The crazy thing is, Jade’s charms are genuine. She had spent hours talking with Caroline because she truly wanted to hear what the older woman had to say. Jade has always had the envious ability to talk to anyone about anything with complete and authentic interest, passion and understanding woven into every word.

Jade is magnetic, Josie’s always known this. 

“I dunno,” Josie sighs as she shrugs, “I’ve tried to get her to just settle into something more solid with me over the years. Jade always has some reasoning for not being anything more.” Josie’s eyes narrow as she watches Penelope and Jade practically run into each other and then start talking, “I’ve never pushed it too hard, probably because I’ve always been afraid she’d bolt, leave me all the way.” 

She feels MG staring at her as she watches the two women at the bar. They are laughing about something, infectious grins on their faces. Josie thinks her head might explode, never did she ever imagine both women existing in the same space.

“I get it,” MG’s voice yanks her away from ogling, “sometimes we just have to take what we can get of other people.” His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, the veil dropping for just a moment to reveal a banged up heart. Before she can reach out to him, offer some small comfort, his grin is back in place, “That freaking you out?” He points to Jade and Penelope, leaning against the bar and engaged in intense conversation. 

“More than you could possibly understand.” 

Josie almost stops breathing as both women start making their way towards Josie, still engaged in fervent discussion. Either Josie is drunker than she thought or she’s losing her mind because it almost seems like this is all happening in slo-motion. 

Before they get too close, MG leans in to whisper, “What a horrible place to be, trapped between two incredible women.” He shoots Josie a quick wink right as Jade hands Josie a drink, her sweaty hand almost allowing the glass to slip right through her grasp. 

“Hey sorry this took a minute,” Jade falls into the chair next to MG, resting an arm around the back of his chair, “this one was distracting me.” 

The accusation pulls an easy laugh out of Penelope who just shrugs, “Well we couldn’t walk away from the bar without establishing that I was indeed correct.” 

Jade rolls her eyes and scoffs, “Only because of an almost insignificant technicality.” 

Yeah, it’s decided, Josie does not care for these two being friendly. 

“Uh,” Josie turns to Penelope, doing her best to smile through her newfound irritation, “correct about what exactly?” 

Penelope slowly pulls herself up from her slouched posture and leans forward in her chair, her eyes narrowing and her nose scrunching up, “Oh, nothing overly important.” Her gaze remains locked with Josie’s for several moments, as if searching for something before she shoots to her feet, “Well, I have to call it a night.” 

“Wait,” Josie clammers out of her chair, “let me walk you out.” 

Penelope gives her a small nod, shakes Jade’s hand, and hugs MG goodbye before they maneuver their way out of the crowded bar. The night air instantly chills her skin and her first gulp of air is sharp enough that her eyes water. Penelope immediately lights a joint, taking a deep drag before releasing a thick cloud and her shoulders noticeably relax. 

“Uh, well good night I guess,” Penelope turns to walk away but Josie catches her by the elbow. 

“Whoa, hold on,” Josie pulls on Penelope, trying to get her to face Josie, “that’s it? Just, good night?” 

Penelope’s gaze remains locked on the ground just to Josie’s left, “Yeah, I have an early meeting.” 

Josie lets her hand trail down from Penelope’s elbow to her wrist and then the outside of her hand, giving it a slight squeeze, “Can we talk? Are we ok?” The words seem inadequate and it’s not quite what she’s trying to say but her brain can’t access the right things. 

A group of people burst out of the bar, laughing and hanging off each other, oblivious to the two women on the sidewalk and all the unsaid words stretched between them. 

Penelope pulls her hand away from Josie, clenching it into a fist before it falls limply to her side, “What do you want from me, Josie?” She finally looks Josie in the eye, her eyebrows knit together. 

“I-I,” Josie stutters, “hope you have a good rest of the night.” 

The tension shatters as Penelope withdraws, every part of her leaning away from Josie. She’s nodding slowly to herself, the joint in between her fingers at her side releasing a thin spiral of smoke.

“Sure, Josie,” Penelope drops her stare, “good night.” And all Josie can do is watch as Penelope turns on her heel and takes off into the night. The further away Penelope gets the worse Josie feels. A thousand things she wishes she’d said piling on the sidewalk around her.

_ Don’t go.  _

_ I miss you.  _

_ I’m sorry for everything.  _

_ You mean more to me than I want to admit.  _

_ Stay.  _

Josie brings her hands to her face and presses them against her forehead, “Fuck!” 

“Language, Joey,” Jade scolds, a faux frown on her face. 

“Fuck you,” but Josie smiles through the words, “what are you doing out here?” She gives a little shiver, goosebumps jumping across her arms and neck. Has it gotten even colder since she first accompanied Penelope out here? 

Jade shrugs out of her coat and gently drapes it around Josie, “Came to check on you. Penelope gone?” 

“Thank you,” Josie mumbles as she pulls the coat tighter around her body, “yeah she’s gone.” Josie joins Jade in leaning against the brick building, their shoulders barely touching. It’s wonderfully comforting, she lets herself lean just a little further into Jade. 

“So what’s the deal there,” Jade asks, small clouds hanging briefly in the air between them, “you guys dating or something?” 

Josie huffs, “No, there was something before,” she pauses, flashes of rushed hallway kisses bombarding her mind, “but uh that’s gone. Why, you going to chase after her?”

“Ha,” Jade pushes off the wall and stands before Josie, resting her hands on Josie’s hips, “I was actually wondering if you were going to let me follow you home.” Jade’s giving her a familiar, hungry look, the yearning on her face laid bare for Josie to see. Jade was never one to try and play games or hide how she feels, what she wants. 

Josie reaches up, tucking a blonde curl behind Jade’s ear, “That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I really just want to apologize,” she grimaces, “again for last night.”  
> “Please stop, no apology needed.”  
> Josie takes a slow sip of her still too hot coffee and does her best to leave it, move on. But a sinking feeling in her stomach won’t ease up. The silence between them feels too heavy to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaayoooo, I barely edited because I am lazy. 
> 
> Enjoy kiddos. 
> 
> Thanks for everything.

“I really just want to apologize,” she grimaces, “again for last night.”

“Please stop, no apology needed.”

Josie takes a slow sip of her still too hot coffee and does her best to leave it, move on. But a sinking feeling in her stomach won’t ease up. The silence between them feels too heavy to her. 

“Right, like I know that but still,” Josie leans forward with her elbows propped on her dining room table, “I don’t know what was wrong with me.” 

“Ugh,” Jade groans, setting her own coffee mug down, “if you apologize one more time I’m going to kill you.” 

Josie nods and starts gnawing on her bottom lip, “It’s just like you came back here under the impression we were going to have sex-”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“-and I had,” Josie pauses and tries to come up with the best description of what exactly transpired, “a slight emotional moment.” 

Jade kicks back in her chair, bare feet coming to rest on the table, a smirk on her face, “You had a full on meltdown, Joey. You cried for like two hours.” 

“I was drunk.” 

“Yeah you were,” Jade stretches back even further, “but that’s not what that was.”

Josie scoffs, “Oh, no?” 

“Oh, no.”

“If you’re so smart,” Josie scowls and brings both hands back to her coffee, “please enlighten me as to exactly what happened last night.”

Josie remembers most of last night. She remembers the painful tension with Penelope. She remembers the comfort Jade provided outside the bar. She almost remembers how they got home. She almost remembers almost sleeping with Jade. 

“Are you sure you wanna know?” Jade is smiling and looking weirdly pleased with herself for someone who most definitely did not get laid last night. 

“Oh my god, spit it out.”

“Ok, you asked for it,” Jade pulls her legs off the table and leans forward, eyes bright, “we started making out and we were working towards getting clothes off but you called me Penelope.” Oh, no, no, no, no, “and then you proceeded to have a complete breakdown.” 

Josie is frozen with her mouth hanging slightly open as last night slides into focus. Electric touches and hot breath interrupted by flashes of green eyes, a devilish smirk. The sinking feeling in her stomach, it’s an echo from last night. It’s the feeling of being with the wrong person, the wrong place, the wrong time. 

“Well,” Josie blinks rapidly and tries to shake off embarrassment and guilt and anxiety, “fuck.” 

Jade’s teasing expression fades and is replaced with the softest look of understanding, “I meant what I said earlier, no apology necessary. And you don’t need to feel weird about last night. I get it,” she shrugs, “you want Penelope and I don’t blame you.” 

“Jade, I…” Josie doesn’t know what to tell the woman across from her. Jade has always meant a lot to her, will always mean a lot to Josie. If Jade had just come home even 6 months ago things would be different but Penelope somehow wriggled back into Josie’s life and now everything has changed.

“Hey,” Jade shoots out of her chair and kneels in front of Josie, reaching up to wipe at tears streaking down her cheeks. Josie didn’t even realize she is crying, “you will always mean so much to me but you and I were never gonna be like  _ it _ ya know? And I saw the way you look at Penelope.” 

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” Josie sniffles, her hands resting on Jade’s shoulders, “I feel like we’re breaking up but we aren’t even dating.” 

Jade releases a deep sigh, “Well it’s the end of some amazing sex, I kinda wanna cry too.” 

Josie basically jumps into Jade’s arms, her laugh stifled into Jade’s shoulder and the scent of her own shampoo on Jade’s hair filling her senses. They stay like that, wrapped in a tight hug, for several comforting minutes. And Josie swears she hears Jade choke back a soft and broken sob. 

“I’m really glad you’re home,” Josie mumbles as she untangles herself from Jade, “I’ve missed you so much.” 

There’s a single wet streak down Jade’s right cheek, it’s heartbreakingly beautiful. And Josie thinks this, ending this undefined relationship with Jade, might be one of the hardest things she’s ever done. 

“It’s good to be back,” Jade gets up and grabs her coffee again, “especially because I’ve missed decent coffee. It’s just not the same in the desert.” 

Before Josie can respond both of their phones ping at almost the exact same time. It’s from Lizzie, a simple text that reads  _ dinner tonight 7:30 at Antonio’s, dress nice _ . 

“Did Lizzie just-”

“Text me,” Jade flashes her phone screen at Josie, “yeah, dinner tonight, huh? You know what that’s about?” 

“No clue,” Josie shoots off a quick reply, confirming she’ll be at dinner, “but knowing Lizzie, it’s sure to be theatrical.” 

Jade laughs as she washes her mug in the sink and returns it to the cabinet, right where it belongs. Josie has always liked that Jade moves through her home with ease and familiarity, as if it’s her home too. She’ll miss that feeling, sharing a living space with someone, even though Jade and her existed together in this space without a label or title. 

“But this does mean I need to take off,” Jade sighs and seems to be gazing at Josie almost wistfully, “I need to swing by my Ma’s place and I have to find clothes that your sister will approve of for dinner.”

She doesn’t want Jade to leave. When Jade walks out of her apartment, it’ll really be over; this weird dance they’ve been doing for so many years. As Jade collects her things and heads toward the door, Josie wants to scream and beg her to stay, to forget last night. 

Josie wants to be selfish, instead she waves Jade out the door and feels a piece of herself break as the door closes behind Jade. 

\----------

It’s a beautiful night, cold and clear as Josie walks to the restaurant. She fought every fleeting desire to call Jade and meet up to arrive together. Josie knows she  _ has _ to let Jade go all the way, it’s not fair to either of them to keep falling into each other while Josie has all this longing for Penelope. 

Penelope. Just thinking her name makes Josie’s heart skip a little because it’s always been about Penelope, ever since that first kiss at fourteen. 

Penelope. The girl who at 16 promised to love Josie forever even as she watched her own parent’s love break and end. 

Penelope. The woman who looks at her with an intensity that Josie has never experienced from anyone else. 

And Josie is so preoccupied by thoughts of Penelope and Jade that she runs straight into another person. 

“Oof.”

“Shit.” 

Strong hands latch onto her arms and steady Josie before she falls to the ground . Josie’s hands are clutching the fabric of the coat in front of her, pulling herself into the other person. 

“Walk much?” 

Josie can’t stop the smile that spreads slowly across her face, she can hear the smirk in that question. She wants to melt into those arms but she steps back and meets Penelope’s soft, amused gaze. 

“Only sometimes,” Josie feels a swell of affection and can’t stop smiling like a fool, “I see you have also been blessed with an invitation to whatever this dinner is.” 

“Oh yes, lucky me,” Penelope quirks an eyebrow and points to the pavement, “more importantly, you owe me a joint.” 

There on the cold, gray concrete lays a smoldering joint with a thin trail of smoke drifting up into the night. If Josie was to look close enough she thinks she might even be able to see the faint color from Penelope’s lipstick. 

“Really?” Josie scowls but can’t hold it long before a grin breaks through, “Penelope Park: Heiress, is going to nickel and dime me over one measly joint?” 

Penelope laughs, full throated and with her head thrown back, it makes Josie’s chest ache, “Uh because I am a heiress I buy top notch grass. That’s an expensive blunt right there.” 

“Pshh,” Josie rolls her eyes and playfully shoves Penelope, “you’ll live.” 

They stand there, grinning like idiots at each other, for several moments before they are snapped out of it. 

“Christ, it’s fucking cold,” Jade appears out of thin air and Penelope’s grin falls away, “Joey, c’mon let’s get inside. Hey, Park.” She nods at Penelope and jostles between them to get to the door of the restaurant. 

“After you,” Penelope gives a little bow and holds the door open, her smile not quite as bright as it had been just a few minutes ago. 

Josie shoots off a smile and follows Jade into the dim restaurant. She finds Jade shivering next to Hope and Lizzie, waiting for a table. Hope and Lizzie are standing stiff and too far apart. Normally they are all over each other or holding hands or touching in some way. Tonight they’re being weird. 

“Ugh finally,” Lizzie scoffs, “you know they won’t sit us until the entire party is here.” 

“Don’t snap at her,” Jade snaps back, glaring at Lizzie and stepping a little closer to Josie, “we’re all here now, it’s fine.” 

It’s something Jade has done from the moment she figured out the dynamics of the Saltzman twins, standing up for Josie. Protecting Josie. Over the years Lizzie and Jade have verbally sparred and never with a clear winner. But Josie has always been endeared by Jade’s protectiveness but tonight it causes another bit of Josie to break.

She doesn’t deserve Jade’s shielding this time, not after this morning. 

“Jade,” Josie puts a hand on Jade’s arm, “it’s ok.”

Before anyone else can chime in, they are seated and the weirdness continues. Lizzie and Hope sit on either side of the corner of their table with Jade across from Hope. Josie takes the seat across from Penelope, bouncing between anxious and excited to be across from those green eyes all night. 

LIzzie and Hope don’t say a word to each other, no ‘babe’ and no hand holding and no gross heart eyes but Jade and Penelope seem oblivious. Josie can’t stop staring at them. 

The waitress, young and bouncy, greets them, “Good evening ladies! What can I ge-”

“WE’RE ENGAGED!” Hope blurts out and immediately clamps her hand over her mouth. 

Three mouths fall open as Jade, Penelope, and Josie gape at Hope. Her outburst brings a hush over their section of the restaurant.

“Way to play it cool, baby,” LIzzie teases but instantly relaxes and reaches out for Hope’s hand. 

“Holy shit,” Jade shoots out of her chair and scoops Lizzie into a fierce hug, “congrats you idiots! We are going to need lots of champagne.” 

The waitress scurries off to bring booze while hugs and congratulations are passed around. The other people around their table even clap a little. Hope shows off her ring, the ring Josie accidentally presented to a drunken Penelope. 

As if she can hear Josie’s thoughts, Penelope examines the ring and then locks eyes with Josie. She’s smirking and shoots a wink at Josie across the table, a quiet flash of the memory of that night shared between them. 

“So this happened last night?” Josie asks after everyone settles back into their seats and champagne has been poured, “Like after the bar?” 

“Yeah,” Hope answers, her hand threaded in Lizzie’s and her voice floating, “we got back to Lizzie’s apartment and I was brushing my teeth and there she was,” she smiles with all the sweetness in the world at Lizzie, “kneeling behind me and crying.” 

“Honestly, I can’t believe you didn’t rush across the hall and harass me,” Josie laughs. 

“Oh we didn’t want to interrupt your sexcapdes.” Lizzie wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. 

Jade immediately chokes on her champagne, sending her into a fit of coughing while Josie claps her on the back. Josie can feel Penelope frowning from across the table and Lizzie is looking awfully pleased with her very intentional chaos. 

Jade’s face is red from coughing and Josie’s red from embarrassment, their expressions unfortunately backing up Lizzie’s claims of a wild night. Josie wants to correct her sister, squash the idea that her and Jade hooked up but she stops herself. Last night and this morning is nobody’s business but her and Jade. 

“Grow up, Lizz,” Josie mutters, her face still burning and Jade still trying to catch her breath next to Josie.

A quick glance across the table reveals Penelope’s obvious disdain for the current subject matter, her features darkened and a deep crease firmly planted between green eyes. Penelope won’t meet Josie’s stare, a stare in which she’s trying to show Penelope not to worry and not assume anything. 

God, she really needs to talk with her. But right now, at this table with this company is not the time. So, Josie lets them all believe what they want...for now.

Appetizers and salads arrive right as Jade asks, “So, Lizzie haven’t you been proposed to a bunch?” 

The sheer power of Lizzie’s self satisfied grin could blind anyone who dared to look directly into it. It’s one of Lizzie’s favorite things to talk about, people proposing to her. Which is why Josie is surprised that she proposed to Hope instead of waiting for the inevitable question to be directed at her. 

“Oh my god,” Lizzie exclaims, “let me see if I can remember them all.”

Josie watches as Penelope’s eyes go big and she starts to speak, irritation already written all over her face. Josie delivers a swift kick to the shins directly across from her and shoots Penelope a scolding head nod. 

“Don’t,” Josie whispers. 

“You really just kick me?” Penelope’s attention successfully distracted from bickering with Lizzie, “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

They are both leaning across the table, exchanging words in low voice and shining eyes and barely contained smiles. Josie wants to lean the rest of the way and just kiss Penelope, kiss her until she can’t even think anymore. She can’t help but wonder if Penelope wants the same thing, the way Penelope is grinning at her makes Josie hopeful.

She leans back instead, “I have a pretty good idea of what you would say.” Penelope just chuckles and continues to grin at Josie. 

That thing inside her, that thing that wants Penelope more than anything else, doesn’t just stir this time...it claws and pulls and roars for the woman across the table. 

It takes everything in Josie to turn her attention back to Lizzie

“So, there was Rafael on graduation night, remember that Jos?” Josie nods, still trying to quiet the creature inside her calling out to Penelope, “uhm, Jeremy from sophomore year of college after I took his virginity, oops.”

“Nice.” Jade reaches out for a high five, which Lizzie enthusiastically returns. 

“And then Sasha,” Lizzie looks off dreamily, all unfocused stare for several moments, “she proposed during that month I spent in Spain. Come to think of it, I never actually said no to her…”

“Wait,” Hope’s grossly lovesick smile falters slightly as she rounds a teasing stare at Lizzie, “are you trying to tell me you may or may not be engaged to a beautiful Spanish woman?” 

Everyone at the table stops breathing as Lizzie’s eyes go big and she balks at Hope’s question. Josie knows that nothing will come of this, there will be no fight and Hope isn’t actually mad and Lizzie isn’t actually engaged to anyone else but it’s fun to watch someone else squirm for a change. 

“Baby, I basically got on a plane the next day,” Lizzie tilts her head and delivers a dazzling smile, “besides, I was kinda already married,” she grabs Hope’s hand, “I had a very intimate ceremony where I married my best friend when I was six years old.” 

Josie tries to take a drink of champagne to hide her eye roll as Hope melts and kisses Lizzie for way too long to be considered publicly appropriate. 

Right as she’s finishing her drink she feels it, a sharp kick to her shins.

“Ow,” Josie grinds out, “what the fuck, Penelope?” Again, no one seems to notice their exchange because Jade has launched into some sort of story with Lizzie. Their animated chatter fading into the background as Penelope smirks at her from across the table. 

“If I’m not allowed to roll my eyes,” she states smugly, “neither are you.” 

More food and drink arrives, preventing Josie from full on arguing childishly with Penelope. The prattling dies down at the table as everyone eats, Lizzie and Penelope occasionally trading barbs but something has shifted between them. Their insults and quips seem to be laced with understanding and possibly even respect….affection. 

Lizzie and Josie take off for the bathroom together, leaving the other three to fend for themselves. While they wash up and fix their hair, Lizzie adjusting her makeup with steady hands, Josie asks the question that’s been floating around her head all dinner.

“Lizz, why now? Like before you said you couldn’t do it, couldn’t ask Hope to marry you.” 

Josie watches as Lizzie finishes touching up her lipstick and she can see how hard Lizzie is thinking, words must be tumbling about in her mind trying to figure out how best to answer Josie.

“It’s like when Dad died,” Lizzie sighs and her shoulders slump every so slightly, “I wanted everything to stop. I needed everything to stop. I couldn’t fathom how to keep living, keep going. But through it all, through all the fuckin sadness and being pissed, there was always one thing I never wanted to stop.” Lizzie smiles and the cutest little blush coats her cheeks, “Everything I felt for Hope. And I knew Dad would want me to have that love, one I never wanted to end, even when I wanted everything else in the world to disappear.” 

Josie swallows down a lump in her throat, wipes at her watery eyes, “Yeah he would and you deserve it. So does Hope.”

“Hey,” Lizzie rushes forward and wraps her arms around Josie, “you do too. It’s great that you and Jade are hanging out again.”

Josie pulls out of the embrace and rubs at the back of her neck, “Yeah, uh, we kind of decided to end all of that.”

“Wait, what? I saw you two leave together last night and you were all over each other.” Lizzie leans back against the sink, arms crossed and a slight frown on her face. Josie really doesn’t want to have this conversation in a restaurant bathroom. 

“C’mon, let’s just get back to dinner.”

Lizzie laughs, the sound echoing off the walls, “Oh no, no. The other three will be fine. Details. Now.” 

“It’s nothing,” it’s a lie, it’s kind of everything, “we didn’t sleep together last night. This morning we talked, decided it was best we stop hooking up. That’s all.” 

“Hmm,” Lizzie’s eyes narrow, “well I don’t believe you but I’ll leave it alone,” she turns and opens the door, pausing in the doorway, “for now.” 

Fear and relief simultaneously wash over Josie as they weave their way back to the table. Josie is so eternally grateful that Lizzie has found happiness, has a light to follow even as she continues to grieve their dad. More than anything ever in her life, Josie has always wanted good things for her twin. 

They walk up to the table to find Hope and Jade hovering over Penelope’s shoulders, laughing as she scrolls through her phone. A quick scan of the table shows several empty glasses which weren’t there when Josie left for the bathroom.

“Oh my god,” Jade is almost crying she’s laughing so hard, “the sheer awkwardness.” 

Josie sinks cautiously back into her chair, “What are you guys looking at?”

“Oh,” Penelope looks up from the screen with a mischievous grin, “Jade informed me she doesn’t have social media and had never seen pictures of you from high school,” Josie’s mouth falls open, “so I was happy to oblige.”

“I think I hate you.” 

Penelope quirks an eyebrow, every ounce of her demeanor dripping with confidence, “Oh Josie, I don’t believe you.” 

Before Josie can say anything else, Jade flops back down next to her. She slings an arm around Josie’s shoulders and throws back the rest of whatever liquor was in her glass. Penelope’s overly confident smirk falters slightly and those distracting green eyes flicker away from Josie. 

She instantly misses them. 

“Damn, Joey,” Jade teases, “how many different pairs of overalls did you rock in high school?” 

“Well fewer than those pictures probably tell,” Josie brings her gaze back to Jade, a drunken flush on her face, “Lizzie wouldn’t let me wear them past freshman year.”

“God, Jo, I couldn’t let my sister walk around looking like that,” Lizzie is practically gagging at the memory, “you wore them unironically and with just a plain t-shirt underneath. I could barely stand it.” She shakes her head and waves her hand absently in the air, as if trying to erase the image from her mind. 

They stay at the restaurant for another hour or so. They drink and eat dessert and tell old stories and pass around more congratulations. It’s well past 10pm when they finally start packing things up to leave. 

“Oof, I’m way drunker than I meant to be.” Jade mumbles as Josie helps her wrestle back into her coat. It’s endearing seeing Jade like this, wobbly and in need of help. She’s always been such an independent and unshakeable force in Josie’s life. It’s rare that Josie has to be the responsible, steady one.

As Josie buttons up Jade’s coat, Jade clings to both of Josie’s arms and sways drunkenly from side to side. Occasionally she’ll sway forward into Josie’s body and Josie has to push her back, help her stand upright. It makes buttoning up a coat a near monumental task. 

“Got it!” Josie exclaims as she fastens the last button, a slight thrill of victory giving her a rush.

Jade lets out a yell and goes to high five Josie but vastly misjudges, missing her hand completely and falling into Josie’s arms, “Well I’ll just take a cab to my apartment!” 

“Yeah no way,”Josie scolds, “you literally just collapsed on me.” She’s still holding onto Jade, who can’t seem to get her feet under her, “I’ll just take you to my place with me.” 

Jade mutters something unintelligible into Josie’s coat making Josie roll her eyes and shuffle them all the way out the door. The other three women are on the sidewalk, Hope nestled into Lizzie’s side, conversing casually. 

“There you are,” Hope chuckles, “thought we’d lost ya.” 

Josie hoists Jade up again, bringing her arm over Josie’s shoulders, “Yeah, well someone was over served and it makes putting a coat on damn near impossible.” 

“Hmm Joey…”

Everyone laughs as Jade mumbles and Josie rolls her eyes again. 

“There’s our ride, thanks for dinner,” Lizzie gives Josie a quick kiss on the cheek and Jade one on the top of her head, “Love you, Jo.” 

“Love you.”

The newly engaged couple disappear into an Uber that speeds away into the night, leaving Josie holding a drunken Jade while Penelope smokes next to her. 

“Let me call you a car,” Penelope says through her joint as she taps away at her phone. 

“Oh, you don’t have-”

“Stop,” Penelope scoffs, “of course I can get you a ride. It’s fine, she going with you?” Penelope is still looking at her phone and even without really seeing her face Josie can tell Penelope is trying extra hard to sound casual about the question. 

“Yeah, she’s going to have to just crush at my place,” Josie manages to wrangle Jade onto the bench outside the restaurant, letting Jade’s entire weight lean against her as they sit, “thank you, Penelope.” 

Penelope just shrugs and sits on the other side of Josie, just far enough away to avoid touching in any way. Josie desperately wants to lean into her. 

They sit in silence for a while, the only sound coming from either of them is Penelope softly tapping her foot to whatever rhythm is passing through her thoughts. The soft mumbling from Jade let Josie know she’s still semi conscious. 

“Ya know,” Penelope breaks the silence, startling Josie, “I always liked you in overalls.” 

Penelope’s confession causes a swell of affection to wash over Josie. And she remembers how Penelope used to stand in front of her and tug on those old overalls straps, bringing their bodies together. Or how Penelope would snake her arms around Josie and through the overalls, always making Josie’s heart race. 

Josie turns to look at her but Penelope is gazing softly up at the sky, a slight smile on her face. 

“Why do you think I wore them so much?”

Penelope hums, her words coming out slowly as if she’s pulling them from some far away place, “I always loved coming out of cheer practice and finding you, in paint splattered overalls working on the sets for the play. You’d have speckles of all these colors on your cheeks and arms. I’d always think about those flecks of paint for hours after seeing you.” 

Now Penelope is meeting her gaze but she seems sad, her eyes unreadable and a smile that doesn’t last long, isn’t very bright. 

“Penelope.”

“Your car is here,” Penelope stands, “let me help you get her into it.” 

Josie wants to send the car away, wants to fix that broken look in Penelope’s eyes, wants to pull her close once more. Instead she let’s Penelope help her haul Jade up and lay her in the back seat. 

Josie hesitates before climbing in the front of the car, “Hey, Penelope?” 

“Yeah?”

“Don’t,” Josie reaches out and catches Penelope by the wrist, running her thumb along the side of her hand, “uh don’t leave town without letting me know. Please?” 

Penelope ducks her head before meeting Josie’s stare, “I wouldn’t dare.” 

Josie spends the drive home thinking about all the things she wanted to stop when her dad died and the one thing she might not ever want to end. 

  
  
  



End file.
